Scared EVERYTHING is cancer

IrisJ
IrisJ Member Posts: 1 Member
edited April 1 in Breast Cancer #1

Hi! I’m brand new here. And I’m here specifically for emotional support.

Here’s my story :

I had double mastectomies in June 2023, after being diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer in May- (tubular carcinoma) at 41 years old. All of my yearly mammograms have always been clear - including the one I had just two months before discovering my own lump, which was biopsied and found to be cancerous.

My surgery and recovery was fine. Tubular carcinoma is a VERY rare but also very favorable subtype of breast cancer. It stays small, doesn’t spread, doesn’t recur. I had no lymph node involvement and did not require chemo or radiation. I am so very grateful.

But now, 8 months after surgery, I am absolutely overcome with anxiety. I am not at all worried about breast cancer. But rather every other kind of cancer. Beginning in November, I experienced nausea off and on for about two months - both my family doctor and my therapist attributed it to anxiety. But I was convinced it was stomach cancer, pancreatic cancer, colon cancer. Headache? It’s a brain tumor. Every little body function must be cancer.

Does anyone else struggle with this? It’s intolerable. I take Ativan as needed, but not a daily anti-anxiety med. I talk with a therapist. I meditate. I walk daily. I try to be mindful of diet. But nothing seems to help with this anxiety. Is absolutely crippling me.

Comments

  • Sunny5
    Sunny5 Member Posts: 147 Member
    #2

    Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. I take it a day at a time. I have been cancer free for two years, almost. My greatest fear is recurrence. But not to the point of anxiety. I pray daily, for myself and others. I'm not trying to push Christianity on you. But this is one thing that helps me. Also I try to look for things I can do for others. It takes you out of yourself, and lets you see that there are people who are worse off then you and that you are still useful and can help others because you were handed the gift of another day. I pray that you will be able to overcome this anxiety. Best wishes! Sunny

  • Caradavin
    Caradavin Member Posts: 49 Member
    #3

    I understand. I have had 4 (possibly 5 but they hesitate to label it) different cancers. If anyone has paranoia about things causing cancers, it is me. And it was for a while. Now, it is more of an acceptance because nothing can be done about it. There are processed foods everywhere, plastic and manufactured items all around us, there is no way of avoiding them. However. I spoke with a geneticist who did a test on me to see if I had a pre-disposition to other cancers - ironically, it said that I was not to any of them, although I already had four of them. Anyway, she told me cancer was very common. 1 in 3 people get it so each person has about a 33% chance to get cancer at least once. Well, that was surprising. And most people get over the cancers, as well, which is good news. I got this current cancer near the end of my five year cancer free from thyroid cancer. And I've been there - after my fifth year cancer free from cervical cancer, I was terrified that I would get a cancer again and every pain or sickness was a certainty that I had it. It is just a monster we have to stand up to, eventually, in our own time. You will be okay.

  • Changer_555
    Changer_555 Member Posts: 1 Member
    #4

    My first night here. Those are the hardest..in my opinion. I was diagnosed w/ DCIS.. Ductal Carcinoma in Situ. I’ve had a lumpectomy already about 20 years ago. Found its precursor when I was 16.(first GYN exam—talk about freaked.) Aspirations etc.. later the docs gave the all clear. Then my thyroid started abnormal activities. I grew up an Air Force brat, moving from one station to another as a toddler exposed to who knows what. After my stint in the Navy…it just seemed suspicious. So, out comes the thyroid (body’s gas pedal). Precancerous. Dodged that bullet.

    Tried keeping to at least semiannual mammograms. This past years clinched it. The radiologist saw something suspicious. The biopsy 2 types of cancer on the same side I’d had the lumpectomy. Surgical oncologist #1: How Could he have missed THIS! It’s everywhere. Oncologist #2: 11 centimeters of cancer. All throughout. I saw the scans.. he’s gotta be blind. It’s said a lot of radiologists don’t like doing mammograms because it’s so hard to read. Not this.
    but this isn’t about me.. it’s you. You are fully entitled to be freaked. Dare I say traumatized. If you have a doctor you trust. Trust them. Give yourself time. You’re grieving.(the body image & future you should have been able to expect.) You are entitled to call yourself a survivor: surviving isn’t just your body healing.?it’s overcoming a special form of dare I call it PTSD.

    It will ease with time. The stress is flaring what may be GERD. Headaches: tension or actual migraines. You need rest.. not sleep or couch potato like me. You’re fighting…still. So, my suggestion is try a small road-trip or overnight somewhere you haven’t been in awhile. Let your mind rest. Get a change of scene. And take it a day at a time.

    You have time for a full work up, but let the docs simmer. They’re required to look you over. And have patience with ourself. Remember you ROCK!
    I know that this was me pep talking myself. But as survivor of too much. You can become you again. Cause you already are.🙂

  • hopeforthebest
    hopeforthebest Member Posts: 15 Member
    #5
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/comment/1714353#Comment_1714353

    I read your post and it was so warm and kind. The words helped me and I thank you. I was diagnosed in Dec 2023 with endometrial cancer and breast cancer (IDC and DCIS) on Dec 28. Both were grade 1. I just finished radiation for the breast cancer. I am not feeling very good emotionally or physically. I sailed thru the surgery but driving to get radiation stopped me in my tracks and reality set in. And sadness. And anger. Has some of these feelings before but the surgeries were a one and done but the radiation was not, so it became more real. I am sad. I am looking for support groups to join to talk with others about how I feel. I sent some emails and waiting for info. I am scared the cancer might come back because I had a lumpectomy as opposed to mastectomy. Just venting. Thanks for sharing what you did above. All the best to you.

  • hopeforthebest
    hopeforthebest Member Posts: 15 Member
    #6

    Hi,

    I also had grade 1 tubular carcinoma. I totally understand how you feel. I am feeling so sad and worried that it might recur or that cancer will pop up somewhere else. I had mri and other scans and so far things look ok, but I still worry. I also will start the AI in about a week and am conceabout that. I just finished radiation last Fri and don’t have stamina and don’t feel well. I hope you are feeling better. I read the comments below and really liked the one persons comment about how this is normal to feel and how it will get better. It does feel like PTSD. I also struggle with anxiety and this doesn’t help. Feel free to write back if you like. I’m looking g for support groups as need to talk with others who have gone thru this as it is mind splitting for sure. Take care.

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