Choices

Good morning ladies!

Seems like every one of us had a quiet Thanksgiving this year. I had my new Taxol infusion on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and seem to be doing okay for now—just fatigued and a bit shaky. Taxol infusion will be once a week for the next 8 weeks. The good exciting news is that yesterday I became a great-grandmother! 7 lbs 4 oz. baby girl. Her name is Lively, born in Texas so I won't be holding her for a while yet.

Sadie, you have been through so much lately but still have the ability to write so well. I know it takes a lot of effort to even write on the computer. Hang in there and I agree that you should rest and back off for a few days.

That is all for now.

Thanksgiving joke, What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?

Their yammies....

Grandchildren 9, Greatgrandchild 1

I really hesitate to comment on this thread - I view it as somewhat holy ground. I am in awe of each of you and so thankful for your raw honesty and willingness to share your journeys with the broader breast cancer community. I grew up watching my aunts die from breast cancer and then lost my sister (ovarian cancer) and mom (breast cancer) 18 months apart. Each of their battles was about 14 months and riddled with surgeries, chemo, radiation, meds, all of it. If we had not caught my cancer so early, I'm not sure what I would have chosen. I hope to live recurrence-free for the rest of my life but, if it does come back, I know I will at least consider foregoing treatment as one of my options.

Please keep us updated as best you can. You have many "observers" out here wishing you the very best and peace with your choices. God bless.

Marla, congratulations on the great grandbaby! What a wonderful name to have!

I am slowly recouping from my covid-19 pneumonia. I talked to one of the nurses today at the Cleveland Clinic who reprimanded me for not getting my temp taken daily. I'm still battling with my UTI but for now I am content to be amongst friends such as you. I was actually kind of hoping that they would have prescribed a med for me as the UTI is quite painful.

So currently it is around 16 degrees outside which I consider obscene LOL. I keep telling my husband that I'm going to hide underneath my blankets in front of the fireplace until May. :-) Claoh I hope you're feeling better. I realize that this can be hard and I wish things could be different for everyone on this board. You asked if my goals were different. I don't have a good answer for that. There are so many things that come up when you're dealing with this. I'm sure my attitude would have been a little bit better if I hadn't come down with the covid-19 pneumonia. But here are the things that I am grateful for. I am grateful for friends such as I have here on this board. I am grateful for Christmas which in itself holds hope. I am grateful for TV dinners. :-) I am grateful for a good book or a good movie. I am grateful for my husband who has been my champion from the beginning. I am grateful for a warm hearth and a bowl full of hot soup. I am grateful for Marla's jokes. :-) I am grateful for new friends (welcome lovesprimes) who are just as important as all the rest of us.

So perhaps for right now my chemo is not as important to me. I really don't think it has anything to do with my decision, but more in finding that peace that you spoke of often Claoh. That we may encourage each other even in these small things makes me eternally grateful.

Love you guys

Morning y'all

There was a couple other subjects that I wanted to touch on yesterday. Spine compression and multiple metastases of the spine are those two subjects. When I went into the emergency department one of the things that they immediately got done was an MRI of my spine to make sure that I was not dealing with spine compression. Spine compression is dangerous for those of us that are dealing with metastatic cancers such as we have on this board. My particular danger is in the metastases of the lymphatic system. Others may be dealing with metastases of the blood vessels in the body. The symptoms of these can be anything from pain to paralysis. It can also affect bowel and bladder function. I remember when I first went over this that one of the things that I was hoping I did not get was bone metastases as this is a very painful condition. However it did not take long for them to find the metastases to my sacrum which was treated with radiation. Granted I was pretty sick when I went into the emergency department this time around but I am also grateful that this did not get away on me. What they did discover through the MRI was that I did have multiple metastases of the spine. Having problems like this can weaken your spine and cause fractures along with everything else that I already mentioned. Radiation and chemo are the two go-to treatments for this, where radiation actually helps alleviate some of the pain. Please make sure that you are aware of the symptoms as some of the symptoms do require you to go to the emergency department immediately.

So finding out that I have multiple metastases to the spine was what I believe blew me out of the water this go round. It seemed so easy getting gamma knife surgery for my brain metastases and radiation for my sacrum. But then finding this out after everything else was a bit much for me. I enjoyed my break. Resting, sleeping, all nice and curled up in a blanket was just what the doctor ordered LOL. I am grateful that Cleveland allowed me to take this time too.

We all need a respite once in awhile, the caregivers as much as the caretakers. It is difficult to see the ones that you love so much going through the things they have to go through. hr_againsttheflow, I do feel for you and what you're going through. Claoh too, and what your 90 year old friend is going through yet she's still there supporting and encouraging you. And of course, my champion is my husband. Donnie has a shirt that says my wife's fight is my fight. Whatever I need, he's always there to make sure that I am taking care of. It's hard for him and he busies himself around the house so that he does not have to think about it. Sometimes I think he feels guilty for wanting to do things that he would like to do. I hope not.

Well I do believe I've reached the end of my dissertation LOL. I pray that each and every one of you be blessed and find peace today.

Hugs

I'm 4 weeks out from reconstruction surgery. It was supposed to be the 22nd but got bumped to the 29th. It's amazing how big a difference one week makes. I've been planning on the 22nd for a few months and this change up, although it allows me to NOT be in a hospital for Christmas, is kind of throwing me. And I'm quite anxious about anything happening to bump it further since we reached our out-of-pocket max on insurance even before my mastectomy in May. But it's in God's hands.

We have a wonderful Cancer Support Community Center (I'll say CSCC going forward) here. I initially was introduced to them by requesting and going to see a Cancer Support Counselor there. The counseling is covered by insurance but they also have all these classes/lessons for cancer patients completely free. Today, my daughter and I went to Jewelry 101 where we made earrings, most of which are distributed to treatment centers throughout Central Florida for cancer patients, but we also got to take some with us. There is an artist-in-residence there that is available to help cancer patients express themselves through art in various forms. She even goes to some patients' transfusion appointments! I'm so impressed! She really helped me with an issue I've been having with my brain "getting stuck" for lack of a better way to put it.

Anyway, before this gets too long, I'll close it out with a Christmas joke:

What is the best holiday present?

A broken drum--you just can't beat it!