Recently diagnosed

LitigationParalegal
LitigationParalegal Member Posts: 2 Member
edited December 2023 in Colorectal Cancer #1

Hi there. I was diagnosed with colon cancer approximately one week ago. My mom cried. My sister cried. I felt numb. Over this very short period, I’ve felt as though I’m having an out-of-body experience. It’s as if I’m watching a movie of someone else’s life. At times, I’ve thought to myself, “I have cancer. OK. No big deal.” Other times, I’ve had thoughts of “Is this real?” Are these typical emotions upon being informed that you have cancer? At what point will I come to completely accept my diagnosis? Any help and/or advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.

Comments

  • patricia291976
    patricia291976 Member Posts: 1 Member

    Hello - I am a pretty new member of this forum. I received my diagnosis a couple of months ago and the severity of it about a month ago. I started my chemotherapy journey last week. I wish I had a good answer for you regarding those feelings and when acceptance may come. I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling like it isn't real or a movie of someone else's life. I am still struggling to come to terms with it. I thought maybe I would become more accepting of it once chemotherapy began, but instead, it made me feel disassociated from myself - likely due to brain fog. It's been harder to deal with the impact that it has had on my family members, as I feel guilt for their sadness and try to internalize things more instead of talking it out with them. I imagine as you and I progress through this journey toward wellness, the achievements made toward recovery will make it feel more real and concrete - along with that sense of pride in knowing that we are winning the fight against this terrible disease.

  • LitigationParalegal
    LitigationParalegal Member Posts: 2 Member

    Hi Patricia - I’m new to this forum as well. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you reaching out to me. My family (most of them) has been very supportive and encouraging; yet, I do feel alone. I, too, feel guilty. knowing my mom and my closest sister cried made me feel like I’d done something to cause this. I hope these feelings dissipate, and I start to accept and healthily cope with my diagnosis. I totally understand the brain fog as well. I am so grateful to you. Your words and positivity (despite our situation) are uplifting. You have been light in a dark place. I pray that your chemotherapy is going well thus far. I know we don’t know one another, but I’m here if you would like to reach out to me instead of internalizing your feelings. I’ve found that talking about it helps. We will beat cancer. You are strong and courageous. You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. Remember, I’m here if you need a listening ear. And, again, Thank you.

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member

    Welcome to the board no one wants to join. As far as accepting it, I don't know if you ever do and sometimes, it will be quite some time because depending on your diagnosis you will be on a roller coaster of tests, procedures, possible surgeries, good days, bad days, etc. I am a 15 year survivor and I still think about it because it's always in the back of your mind. The best thing to do is get a plan of action with your doctor(s) and continue day by day to march forward. I found that I still got up, did my hair and makeup even when I didn't feel like it and did my very best to carry out my day. Continue to stay on this board as this was my lifesaver for years. I'd actually come on in the middle of the night just to see if anyone was on, especially when I was having chemo. May your journey be a successful one. Wishing you the best.

    Kim

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member

    Hi, and welcome.

    I'm with Kim. As an almost 10 year survivor - Stage IV, I still look in the mirror and say 'I am a Cancer patient. Cancer'. Sometimes it just doesn't seem real.

    Back in the day, when I was in the thick of it, it was easier to accept. Chemo, Radiation, you can't deny your diagnosis while going through all of that stuff.

    Emotions, they will race in and out, up and down. As for crying, my family and friends did allot more of that, for me, than I did for myself. I personally allowed myself 10 minutes a day of weepy, woe is me, then it was full on fight the fight.

    We all of handle this in our own way, and we need to find that way; the sooner the better.

    You will get there, and you will get through.

    We're all here for you.

    Tru

  • yazzy
    yazzy Member Posts: 3 Member

    Hello. My husband was diagnosed with colon rectal cancer stage 4 in October 2023. From my perspective, he was also numb. He says, “It is what it is.” Naturally, I cried as my father also went through this battle last year at stage 3. Also, we lost my youngest brother to Covid 19 the year before that. I feel that my crying gave my husband the need to be stronger for me. Therefore, I knew that I had to be stronger for him. He looks at it as, I just want to get through this and move forward. I’m not sure if that’s the acceptance part. He’s had surgery since then, and should be starting chemo next week. I find that although he is the patient, we all go through it together as one. My prayers goes out to all of you and your families. Please feel free to comment and share your experiences.

  • bangle
    bangle Member Posts: 17 Member

    my journey started in April. In two weeks I will finish my 12th and with luck final round of chemo. I was not expecting a stage 4 prognosis but it was. I to felt numb and like a warrior I went into battle. Everyday I battle the mental fear, worry and yes denial. I look to this forum for help, strength and positivity. You to will find it here. B

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member

    Sorry for the battle you are going through, but stick with this site as there are people on here that can help you. Tru and I have been on a long time and pop in now and then. I'm wishing you a complete recovery. Us long timers have to look at what we have seen in the years since diagnosis and be thankful for every day, good or bad. I've had 8 grand kids since diagnosis, so I'm blessed. Wishing you the best.

    Kim

  • Susanheadley
    Susanheadley Member Posts: 2 Member

    Praying for you . I was diagnosed high stage 3 in August 2023- had a colon resection to remove the masses and unfortunately it had spread to my lymph nodes. I am on Folfox chemo and I get to bring home "Wilson" my Oxapalitin chemo ball (3 under my belt) 9 more to go. I don't think any of us understand why we were the chosen ones. I pray for your family that they have peace in your time of need.

  • amyclark
    amyclark Member Posts: 1 Member

    In all honesty no one can answer when it will feel real. It did not feel real for me until the day I found out the tumor was gone. That’s also the first day I cried about it. Everyone’s story is different. I have to stress though how smart I think you are for joining this right away.

    I have the best village yet I felt so alone. I was diagnosed CRc August 2021.

    Remission July 2022

    metastasized to the lung October 2023

    joined today December 3, 2023


    The best advice I have is to keep chatting with people who get how you feel so you don’t feel like you’re dealing with it wrong. The brain fog is too real but sometimes I feel as if it was what saved me. The reality of it may have been too much to deal with at the time. Learning about it and facing treatment was enough to deal with. Then feeling guilty that I was the reason my family was sad would have made me sadly unable to function if it wasn’t for the brain fog. One day at a time. One hour at a time works too.

    Hang in there.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member

    Hi Susan - Great name!

    I'm wondering if "Wilson" might be the 5FU part of your FOLFOX, as Oxy is usually administered in a facility. Of course, it has been a decade since my last FOLFOX, so things might have changed.

    Either way, 3 down is better 12 ahead, and I wish you luck as you move through the treatments.

  • Susanheadley
    Susanheadley Member Posts: 2 Member

    Yes ! Yes ! Oxaliplatin and Luecovorin and Wilson is my 5FU take home chemo ball .

  • arlynajmmkc2007
    arlynajmmkc2007 Member Posts: 3 Member

    Hello everyone, Lynne here and Im the caregiver for my husband who was diagnosed stage 2 rectal cancer last March 2023. We are done with our treatments. Last Dec 12 he had an abdomen and chest CT Scans. Thank God all came out normal with no anomalies what so ever. Now we are waiting for an MRI coming this January 12 and January 16 for colonoscopy. Our concern is that as of now his tumor although shrunk is not in its acceptable size yet to save his rectum and he is talking about a permanent colostomy. My husband will turn 60 this coming February and we are kind of skeptical about our surgeons approach. We dont want a permanent colostomy thats why we are planning to have a second opinion but it worries us about starting all over again. Any advice? Thanks to all

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member

    I'm sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis. First, you might want to start a new post on this as you might get more response. I had a rectal tumor and it wasn't know if I would have a permanent ostomy either so I got a second opinion and they ended up doing a J-pouch, but had to remove the rectum. I only had a temporary ostomy for 7 months and then had a reversal. If you go to another doctor they should be able to read all the info that has already by obtained so you wouldn't have to start over. It never hurts to get a second opinion as this is the rest of your life you need to deal with. Wishing your husband the best and I'm glad that his scan came out clean. That's wonderful news for the Holidays.

    Kim

  • tmavasheva
    tmavasheva Member Posts: 4 *

    Hi, just joined this group today as I am bit lost, anxious and was diagnosed with colon cancer two weeks ago. Did not have symptoms until a month ago. This was totally unexpected as everyone thinks that way I guess. I feel like I’m in a dream zone at my age of 41 yr old but now more and more people are getting the disease. It is very depressing. They see small spots Mets in liver and lungs so they presumably thinking it is stage 4 but I haven’t had surgery to remove the tumors from my colon, just started the ball rolling with appointments to scans, surgeons and oncology. Honestly I’m terrified on what to expect and how to digest all of this…. If anyone going thru And survived please share there story. Thank you 🙏

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member

    Hello, and welcome.

    I am sorry you have found yourself a part of our community. But, now you are here, stay a while, and learn and share.

    May I suggest you open your own thread. That way, folks can answer your post, and not detract from the original posters thread.

    Here is the link to the home page - you just need to hit the NEW TOPIC box, on the right, and you'll be on your way.

    Tru

  • KK1234
    KK1234 Member Posts: 4 Member

    “Like a warrior I went to battle” that’s an awesome way to put it! Totally copying it