Decision

As a cancer caregiver, fighting hard for the one you love is a roller coaster. For 16 months (May 2022- September 2023) Stage IV colon cancer with peritoneal Mets, ileo surgery, chemotherapy treatments resulting in chemo toxicity with altered mental state after 9 of 11 treatments, etc…

Previously, I have stood by him through Covid-19 long haulers (2+ years) when no doctor would give him a colonoscopy due to Covid-19. Finally, he was diagnosed with colon cancer stage IV Mets to peritoneal cavity- emergency admission by a doctor.

After the original 9 of 11 treatments, there was Chemo toxicity leading to a Baker Act. He went into remission for several months earlier this year. Today, however, the cancer is back based on the PET and CT; nodules appearing in several abdomen locations. My heart aches.

I've been a caregiver since mid-2020 for Covid-19 overlapping with colon cancer stage IV. I love him, but I’m exhausted! The out of state brothers don’t understand caregiving nor have they been available to help (except visiting for a Christmas dinner). These brothers assume I’ll continue to go it all after sharing that I need help. They have the financial means to help.

Healthcare Surrogate- I’m named 1st then 2nd, one of the brothers, but POA is in his brothers names. We got engaged during the remission after dating for 5 years (2018-2023), but nothing has changed legally for the paperwork to properly care for him nor if something happens to him.

Giving up my original career of high-level medical administration to care for him with no help from his family for 3+ years.

He has not ensured I’ll be taken care of when the cancer illness takes over nor is there provisions in place.

Recently, I took a certification class to ensure I’ll have a job. I’ve been offered several positions.

He hasn’t expressed to go through marriage, after the engagement, nor making sure I can legally care for him. He gave his brothers who have randomly visit over the past several years, legal rights.

I love him. But, I feel I need to walk away to save my emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual health.

Thanks for reading this long post and an opportunity to share. I appreciate all prayers as a woman of faith, as well as, your candid replies.

Blessings to you! 🙂🌻🙏🏻