Caregiver breakdown

xtech
xtech Member Posts: 1 Member
edited October 2023 in Caregivers #1

Husband has stage 4 small cell lung. Less than a month with no treatment. Maybe 9 months with treatment. So he has chemo/radiation. I am now sole breadwinner, his caregiver. I have to work full time to keep a roof over our heads. But I need to go with him to his appts. He wants/needs me to take care of meds/directions/schedule etc . Happy to do it. But he has gotten so short tempered. I have been walking on egg shells. I work at a hospital. Long hours, lots of being on-call. I am just so tired. I know husband attitude is from the multiple brain tumors, the decadron, feeling like crap. And our dog has un-potty trained. Maybe I just need to vent . Or sleep for 24 hours.....

Comments

  • kuronrp
    kuronrp Member Posts: 18 Member

    That decadron will definitely do it! My mother gets very very upright and snappy when she's on the third day of it. I know it's tough on our loved ones to constantly feel like crap every day and try to give up their independence to us... So the moodiness is expected but it definitely can make you need 24 hours.


    Best of luck to you and your husband and many prayers!!!

  • jdubya
    jdubya Member Posts: 2 Member

    It can be very stressful. Just know that the person you love is still in there.

    We just cleared out our savings so I could spend the last 2 months at home after the last hospital stay. We found out my wife has brain mets from melanoma and is stage 4. My son is homeschooled and just started an apprenticeship but can't drive yet because stupid WI laws about driver training.

    Sometimes all we need is to vent...and sleep. You have a very tough job, and your husband probably believes it too, but I'm sure he is very thankful to have someone by his side. Stay strong and rest when you can! Just a stranger saying a prayer for you over here.

  • Eskuna
    Eskuna Member Posts: 5 Member

    It can be overwhelming but sometimes we also have to think of ourselves. I’m a caregiver also and I understand how it feels for the family when then do it day and night. Need a couple hour off 3 days a week.

  • P1CancerSurvivor
    P1CancerSurvivor Member Posts: 7 *

    Eskuna,

    It can very hard on you. My wife was a "soldier" of grit and strength and were very fortunate to have the Disney Cancer Center covered by my insurance. They had a great support group for me and especially may caregiver- my wife. Please look into your insurance and check if they programs for YOU. The center had babysitting services, yoga, acupuncture and just a quiet place you. Music can be a welcome friend that can help release that stress and tension. Please reach out to friends and family to help care for your husband. Ask any of your colleagues for assistance. Look for any Non-profits that can also help out. Your the family rock, but even rocks need to settle for sometime to gather much needed strength.

  • DavidONj
    DavidONj Member Posts: 8 *

    This is probably a common thing; my wife is very sad and angry with her diagnosis. I've not worked since she was diagnosed in 1/2022. My mother passed away that same month, so my inheritance has helped us over the past year and a half. Money is going away and I will need to get back to work. I am not comfortable with anybody taking care of her in the house (don't mention the expense), so not sure what our fate is. I feel for you and understand that this fight is not easy for anybody. Also, realize that the chemo does change personalities and that you should not take comments or situations personally. I wish you the best with your husband's care.