About Abita...

Abitas_cousin Member Posts: 6 Member
edited September 6 in Colorectal Cancer #1

Hi everyone. As you can tell from my username, I'm Abita's cousin.

Her last post on the boards was about her brain metastases and subsequent surgery. She had successful surgery and radiation, but unfortunately, as soon as that was over, she had another growth right behind her eye, which caused her to go blind in that eye.

The radiation treatment for that tumor was really rough on her. She lived alone in a 3rd floor walk-up, and we all encouraged her to ask for in-patient care while receiving the remainder of those treatments.

Little did we all know that she would never go home again.

Her care team told the family that they were out of approved treatments for her, and that further treatment would do more harm than good. They were recommending hospice. And, of course, she couldn't go home to live by herself. So, she went into hospice on Wednesday.

She is already non-responsive and sleeping almost all the time. Her hospice doctor says she has on the order of days to a short week left.

I just wanted to update you all since I know how hard it is to just wonder about friends who have been active then suddenly aren't.

Abita fought hard for 5 years. She was determined to live for her beloved cats. She was absolutely convinced that she would have a miracle cure, and endured all of her treatments and numerous side effects all on her own.

She is strong, stubborn (she IS a New Yorker, after all) and she will be missed by so many.


  • SandiaBuddy
    SandiaBuddy Member Posts: 1,379 Member

    Thank you for the update, she has always been a valuable member of this board. All of the best to Abita and her family in these precious remaining days.

  • PamRav
    PamRav Member Posts: 348 Member

    Thank you for your kindness in providing us with an update on Abita’s condition. I am sad to hear that she is near the end of her journey. I will always remember her positive fighting spirit

    Wishing you all peace and comfort


  • NewHere
    NewHere Member Posts: 1,419 Member

    Thank you for the update. I am at a loss for words. We had many messages with one another off the board. She is strong, funny, supportive and a good friend. My thoughts are with Abita, you, her other family members and friends.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,768 Member

    My heart hurts!

    Abita fought long and hard, and damn that five year mark. Why could she not be the one to beat it? She, like so many, deserve better.

    I pray that she slips away, without any more pain or suffering. I hope there is a hereafter, and that she will be greeted by those who love her. She will be happy, over there, but I bet she will still wish she had some more fight time here.

    I hope her cats are safe and sound, as she would want.

    Thank you so very much, for this update, even though it is heartbreaking. There have indeed been many forum members who disappeared into the unknown, and it leaves a place where we cannot mourn for them.

    May you, and your family be strengthened, as you pass through this time of loss. And may it be followed by many happy memories of Abita.


  • Abitas_cousin
    Abitas_cousin Member Posts: 6 Member

    Thank you all, so much, for providing Kelly with the support and love she needed - by people who understand what she was going through like none of our family could.

    She told me of so many friends she had on this forum, and would share how sad she was when she lost someone with whom she had grown close.

    Her cats are cared for and safe, and she is comfortable, and slipping away, just like Trubrit said.

    Thank you all for your messages of comfort. ❤️

  • Gabby T
    Gabby T Member Posts: 10 Member

    Thank you for the update, though it is the one that I have been dreading for the last few weeks.

    It was over two years ago when Kelly posted that she was going to be put on Stivarga and was terrified of it, that prompted me to finally join the forum in order to respond that I was already on that drug. She then contacted me with questions about dealing with the side effects. From there we shared good news and bad, and talked each other off the ledge when we needed to!

    But we also messaged about cats (hers), our same political views and everything in between. She posessed such a wonderful sense of humor.

    To Kelly, I hope this journey is a gentle one. I will miss you, my friend. It's been a privilege. Kathy

  • Lily Flower
    Lily Flower Member Posts: 260 Member

    OMG It hurts to read this. I don't come here as often anymore but today I did and to read this really hurts. Kelly has been fighting defiantly and she really believes that a miracle is around the corner. I know she loves her cats (4 I believe) dearly and she lives for them. I totally get her because I have 3 of my own...lol. I'm so glad to hear her cats are being taken care of. The last I heard she had fallen in her apartment but I didn't know that she had gone blind in one eye from another growth. I hope she slips away peacefully like Tru said. I will definitely miss my friend! 😥

  • Abitas_cousin
    Abitas_cousin Member Posts: 6 Member

    Thank you.

    2 of her cats had to go back to the rescue organization she worked with, and 2 are going to a childhood friend. All 4 are safe and sound.

    Kelly is still fighting, but I'm really glad she's not in (visible) distress.

  • Ruthmomto4
    Ruthmomto4 Member Posts: 708 Member

    I am beyond sad to hear this, I grateful to Lily Flower for letting me know. I knew she was going through a lot from Facebook. I am glad her cats were taken care of, they meant the world to her. I will miss her friendship and I will never forget her. Sending my love and prayers for her comfortable peaceful passing. My thoughts to her family, my heart is broken.

  • Abitas_cousin
    Abitas_cousin Member Posts: 6 Member

    Thank you so much. I'm sorry for your loss, too. Losing a friend is never easy.

    You all were her lifeline and support system, and I know she was so grateful for each of you.


  • Canadian Sandy
    Canadian Sandy Member Posts: 782 Member

    I am so sorry to read this. Abita was a true fighter and I wish she could have won the battle. Rest in peace Kelly.

  • Sestra17
    Sestra17 Member Posts: 68 Member

    Rest In Peace dear lady.

  • SnapDragon2
    SnapDragon2 Member Posts: 711 Member


    My heart fell to see this. I am so saddened at this news.

    I will miss her and always remember her.

    Peace Kelly, my friend.

  • Abitas_cousin
    Abitas_cousin Member Posts: 6 Member

    Kelly slipped away peacefully this morning at 7:20 am. She was a deeply religious person, so would appreciate your prayers.


  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,768 Member

    Dear cousin of Abita

    My heart felt sympathy to you and to all who loved Kelly.

    She will be missed by all; and her memory will fill us all with joy, knowing that she lived well, loved her Lord and is now with Him and is at peace.

    You are a wonderful person to come so quickly, during your own grief, to share the passing of Kelly; and we are all so grateful. We lose so many friends here on the forum, because they no longer post, and we are left to wonder. So, sharing the news, is appreciated so very much.

    Sending love and prayers.


  • Gabby T
    Gabby T Member Posts: 10 Member

    Thank you so much for taking the time to share this heartbreaking news this morning.


  • Lily Flower
    Lily Flower Member Posts: 260 Member

    Thank you cousin for the update. My deepest condolences. Rest in peace sweet Kelly. I will always remember you and thank you for your friendship that I will cherish forever. ❤️

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,280 Member
    edited September 6 #19

    I just read all this, and my head and heart hurt to know Abita came to the end of her fight, so abruptly [I know it only seems that way from here], but then it is sometimes better to have a quiet, quick route to a true freedom from all that hassle and misery, when things are certain. My thoughts are with Kelly, a name I never knew for Abita, a personality I won't forget. I appreciate that you took the time, Kelly's Cousin, to inform us. She mattered here, a great deal.....................................Dave

  • Abitas_cousin
    Abitas_cousin Member Posts: 6 Member

    Thank you all for your kind words. They are a balm.

  • Erica2016
    Erica2016 Member Posts: 45 Member

    I'm truly sorry to hear about Kelly's passing. I had been waiting for her to update us on her surgery. She was a remarkable individual , both as a fighter and a valued member of our forum community. My thoughts and sympathies to her loved ones.