49yo Husband Recently Diagnosed with Stage 2/3 Colorectal Cancer

Leia73 Member Posts: 1 Member
edited August 3 in Colorectal Cancer #1

We are in week 3 of Neo-adjuvant Chemo Radiation. So far we are doing well with labs, nutrition etc. He is still going to work and exercising daily. Anyone else out there have success with CRT with Xeloda? Did it shrink your tumor and how long was it before you had surgery? They are telling us at this point he may need more chemo treatment, and this was not addressed initially. Its hard he is 49 and I am 50 and its not like I can keep taking off work to be at every appointment. I feel horrible that I can't but we have bills to pay. He tells me each time he is at the VA that the room is filled with elderly men with walkers and wheelchairs. I have been having such a hard time coping and getting acclimated on anxiety meds I feel this is going to kill my marriage. I have tried to find a local support group but they are not answering email.


  • suzycruise76
    suzycruise76 Member Posts: 163 Member

    Hi Leia 73,

    my case is a bit similar to the case of your husband; I was diagnosed in January 2019 with CRC and started Neo-adjuvant treatment a month later. 25 sessions of radiation with Xeloda pills taking 2x a day at home. The tumor was estimated as 6 cm in size on the first CT scan; there had been a suspicion about 1 lymph node being affected as well, so stage 3. The surgery was planned for the end of May, and the last CT scan showed the tumor almost 50% smaller....the doctors were excited! And there had been no lymph node cancerous, so down to stage 2!

    I had been extremely lucky to have wonderful surgeon and oncology doctors...not only skillful on their jobs, but having great bedside manners. I am a female, that time 76 years old, with English as a second language, so I really appreciated their patience and ability to explain everything to me and my son, who went with me for my first appointments, but as a employed young man could not come with me all the time. I always took notes as much as I could manage to write, and for next app. I prepared a list of questions to ask the doctor... it both helped me to orient better in everything what was going on.

    Let me tell you, that it had not been easy, but it was manageable....at least it is how I see it now, a few years later.

    If you want to ask me any question, please do so! And please let us know, how you and your husband are doing, be strong and never lose your hope!

    Many regards,


  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,764 Member

    Hello Leia73

    I am sorry to hear about your husband, and the stress you feel that this whole situation is causing a strain on your marriage. It is one of those 'side effects' that people don't think about.

    Tell your husband to enjoy all of those old folks at the VA, they have stories to tell, and a listening ear is always appreciated.

    I don't really have any answers to your questions, but I did want you to know that we are listening, and while the forum runs slow, there is a slew of good folks here, who can support you through this journey with your husband.


  • DRL74
    DRL74 Member Posts: 4 Member

    I had a colostomy reversal in June. The first few days home I went after I ate. Barely anything but I was so unsure. I am back to a more normal routine of going but if I eat too much I have to go. I now have issues with dairy where before being put back together I had no issues. Just eat and be close to a restroom. No more gummy candy either. I haven't had a salad yet and will try only when home. I take it one day at a time.

    I still get annoyed and frustrated but at the end the day the colostomy saved my life.