At The Beginning
All this came up really fast, man. In late November I saw the doc because I had a sore shoulder. She suggested a quick blood test since I was there anyway for the shoulder -- she had been keeping an eye on my creatinine levels (but they had not been terribly out of bounds).
Fast forward one week, and I'm looking at an ultrasound that shows my right kidney as just stuffed full of masses (and swollen to about 3 times its normal size) and not functioning at all. My left kidney is better but still has some tumors. So, possibly, does my spleen (and possibly bone marrow is a little bit involved).
Fast forward to next week, when I begin Chemo. My mind tells me all should be well, and the doc tells me my prognosis is very good. But I'm scared. Of the treatment (and side effects); and of the cancer in general. My intellect can tell me all it wants about prognosis -- the word 'cancer' is still just flat-out scary to me.
Anyway, just wanted to post this. I'm not immobile, frozen by this. But I can't lie: I'm scared.
Comments
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Praying your treatment is successful and don't be afraid to talk to someone about your feelings! A cancer diagnosis makes us all scared. My pastor has kidney cancer that has recurred, but is now in remission. He takes medicine and goes for treatments that he will have to take the rest of his life. But he tries to live life to the fullest. You are not alone! I pray you have a great oncology team and don't be hesitant about asking questions and remember, everything is your decision. Yours is not like anyone else's. May God bless and heal you! Sunny
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Glad you found this site but sorry you need to be here. We have all been scared at times and even when one becomes NED (no evidence of disease) you still get scanxiety. I still have scans every 6 months, thanks to my cautious oncologist, but the fear is real every time.
Please don’t apologize, cancer is a scary word, but I think you will find lots of reasons here to be optimistic. You can read people’s different experiences and positive outcomes.
Will pray for you, your doctors, and your treatment. Please update to let us know how you are doing, or if you just need someone to listen, we do that too!
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Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Support seems to help!
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Thank you for the response and encouraging words. This is a bit of a rocky road right now. I could use all the optimism and encouragement I can get!
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So sorry that you are going through this. Know that you have a bunch of fellow kidney cancer patients here that v have been through this and are living with and surviving with this disease. Please keep us updated. 🙏
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Thank you everybody for your encouragement! First chemo was today; so far so good. Admittedly, it was an easy ride, because the oncologist decided to split the ingredient into two sessions (because all together in the first session can be rougher on the body, it seems). So the R of the R-CHOP cocktail comes in next Wednesday.
After that, I will fall back to the original every three week session schedule.
So, it's only been half a day since the first pass, but so far so good. Nothing resembling a side effect (I have a bit of a headache, which may or may not have anything to do with the chemo). One step at a time, huh?
Again, thank you for the encouragement. It really means A LOT.
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Sorry to read about your troubles. I do know two people who have had kidney cancer, one about 20 years ago, and the other about 10 years ago. I wish you all the best. It is scary to be told you have cancer, but we say you are a statistic of one.
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Thank you for the response and encouraging words. This is a bit of a rocky road right now. I could use all the optimism and encouragement I can get!
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My cancer diagnosis scared the hell out of me, it's been 11 years now. Your first reaction may be to freeze up and panic, but that won't help. I've learned to work with my doctors, ask all the questions you want but realize every one of us is a separate case. The doctors use all the tools they have at their disposal and you, your body, will react in its own way. My mantra is "there's no better time to have cancer than ____ (fill in the year)". You'll see the years tick by, treatments will improve, and your life will roll on. Hang in there brother.
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Thanks for the encouragement. On a bit of a stupid collision of bad timing -- my second chemo was scheduled for yesterday but (and this could only happen to me) I caught covid. So, you know, bleh. Chemo side-effects are still in effect, too, which is, you know, so much fun.
But if this sounds a little whiney -- it is -- but if it sounds like I'm down, I am not. I am extremely optimistic that this is just a bend in the road, and that it's all going to be fine. There are lots of survivors out there, and after NED this summer, I will be glad to formally declare myself one of them! Hanging in there -- hope everyone else is as well.
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Good news, although my optimism is still a little guarded: After only two chemo sessions, my creatinine level is basicaly back to normal, my one good kidney seems to be functioning optimally. My spleen -- which was engaged and enlarged -- is now back to normal size.
Still a ways to go, and still a rocky path, but I'm incredibly encouraged. This chemo stuff actually seems to work!
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