What do you wish someone had told you?

DLoJourney58Strong said:

Newly Diagnosed

Well, this is not what I expected this summer. I am newly diagnosed as grade 1 adenocarinoma. I'm scheduled for a total hysterectomy on July 15th - robotic assist. From reading different discussion posts, I feel relieved but the waiting is stressful. I'm very hesitant about sharing my diagnosis with family. I guess I'm hoping that surgery will "fix me." However, I know that I probably will benefit from family support so I am struggling with finding the right way to approach this disclosure. I'm a very private person, so this is difficult for me. Does anyone have suggestions of help or advice to offer?  Thanks~

We are always sorry you have to come, but welcome and know you will find lots of advice and support here.   I felt the same way you do.  I STILL have a hard time talking to friends and family about my uterine cancer.   My problem initially was that people would be upset and I didn't want to have to deal with their emotions.  I was having a hard enough time dealing with my own.  AND I couldn't answer their questions.  I am an RN but it took me a good 4 months to read all the information and understand the research articles that are the biggest resource for us.  I was a little evasive and had to say. I really didn't know many times which was the truth.  I did end up having an early cancer, but an aggressive type so people did not understand that it could come back even at an early stage. I got tired of explaining it.  I found it easier to come here and discuss things.  I just did not want to deal with other people's emotions.  I still don't talk about it much with my family.  I can't give you advice, just letting you kow you are not alone.

DLoJourney58Strong said:

Newly Diagnosed

Well, this is not what I expected this summer. I am newly diagnosed as grade 1 adenocarinoma. I'm scheduled for a total hysterectomy on July 15th - robotic assist. From reading different discussion posts, I feel relieved but the waiting is stressful. I'm very hesitant about sharing my diagnosis with family. I guess I'm hoping that surgery will "fix me." However, I know that I probably will benefit from family support so I am struggling with finding the right way to approach this disclosure. I'm a very private person, so this is difficult for me. Does anyone have suggestions of help or advice to offer?  Thanks~

I think there is no one right way to approach disclosure. I believe that each of us has the right to choose who we want to tell and how much we want to disclose. Dealing with other people's fears and emotions can be too much when we are still coming to terms with what is happening to us. My mother was 92 and my sister in law in the final months of a long fight with breast cancer, so I decided not to tell my mother and, in order to prevent her learning of it accidentally, I limited who I did tell to just a few people. Even now, there are few people who know that I had a rare and nasty form of endometrial cancer. I just said endometrial cancer, which saved me a lot of painful and difficult conversations.

I hope surgery "fixes" you, too! If you do need more treatment, I think you're right that you will need support from family and friends. I told my sister and my brother and my three best friends everything, and they held my hand and had my back throughout treatment. I didn't think of myself as a private person until this happened, and I found myself struggling to deal with all of the strangers who were part of my care, not to metion strangers in a restaurant or store who could tell I was in chemo and thought that I would welcome comments from them. : )  

If ever there is a time in life to do what is best for you and to think less about how to protect or shield others, this is it.

Wishing you the best of luck! 

Molly110 said:

I think there is no one right

I think there is no one right way to approach disclosure. I believe that each of us has the right to choose who we want to tell and how much we want to disclose. Dealing with other people's fears and emotions can be too much when we are still coming to terms with what is happening to us. My mother was 92 and my sister in law in the final months of a long fight with breast cancer, so I decided not to tell my mother and, in order to prevent her learning of it accidentally, I limited who I did tell to just a few people. Even now, there are few people who know that I had a rare and nasty form of endometrial cancer. I just said endometrial cancer, which saved me a lot of painful and difficult conversations.

I hope surgery "fixes" you, too! If you do need more treatment, I think you're right that you will need support from family and friends. I told my sister and my brother and my three best friends everything, and they held my hand and had my back throughout treatment. I didn't think of myself as a private person until this happened, and I found myself struggling to deal with all of the strangers who were part of my care, not to metion strangers in a restaurant or store who could tell I was in chemo and thought that I would welcome comments from them. : )  

If ever there is a time in life to do what is best for you and to think less about how to protect or shield others, this is it.

Wishing you the best of luck! 

Thank you. I needed to hear this. 

DLoJourney58Strong said:

No right way

Thank you. I needed to hear this. 

So glad it was helpful. Now that my treatment is over, I want to put it all behind me, but I find myself checking this discussion board regularly because I found it so helpful when I was diagnosed. 

I thank everyone for their comments. I have had a CA 125 and MRIs. I am making a list so I know what to ask my doctor on Thursday to discuss results of tests. I feel a little uncomfortable asking to record, but at the least my husband will be their to take notes.I was devastated when the doctor found a mass in my. Uterus last Thursday. I feel so much more hope reading every ones comments.