Alcohol and Lung cancer

JLBrown
JLBrown Member Posts: 3 Member
edited July 2022 in Lung Cancer #1

Hello, I'm new to the site and searching for answers and help. My husband has small cell lung cancer - was diagnosed in 2019. A week ago he had a 4 day stay at the hospital on IV Lasix. Just prior to and after his stay, he is drinking heavily. He has wonderful care, and the cancer is "dormant". He's not been eating much and doesn't drink anything but vodka & Gatorade. I can coax him into a protein shake but only once a day. He keeps telling me he wants to stop but then makes another drink. I work full time mostly from home and I'm trying to stay away from him because I can't stand to look at what he's doing to himself. He's stopped caring for himself and I have to remind him what he needs to do (take meds, vitals, weight, eat...)which he then does but has a drink and sleeps it off. I am feeling angry that he's got so much going for him and he's tossing it away and guilty that I'm angry with him because he's an alcoholic and it's not his fault. I'm exhausted and stopped caring for myself so I can tend to his needs and wants. It seems like I'm being pulled in every direction with him, work and family. I know it has to be his choice to stop drinking and I want to do anything and everything I can to get him to realize he needs to stop. What am I doing wrong? Any suggestions?

Comments

  • stafani
    stafani Member Posts: 1 *
    #2
    https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/324862/alcohol-and-lung-cancer

    My Dad was just diagnosed back in December of 2021 he took was a huge drinker. However, the easiest yet hardest way was to to cut him off completely from booze and cigarettes. A man whoslively good was work, beer, cigs repeat. We took hiskeys to all vehicles found ALL hiding places for beer and cigs and threw it away. Alcohol takes over a different part of your mind. My dad didn't even want to worry about his quality of life until the other day he was asked if he feels he has some quality of life back from after chemo. He said yes. It's been a long road and will continue to be a struggle moving forward. Hope you find the right answer, but know your not alone. Take time for yourself even if it's a stop for ice cream or an iced coffee and I sit in your car alone for15 min.

  • SoCalT
    SoCalT Member Posts: 13 Member
    #3

    This is hard for me to offer a solution.

    After my Lung cancer diagnoses I started drinking because it eased the pain after surgery.

    I only drink beer, and now I am smoking again.

    The interesting or sad part is, I know why I am doing it.

    Like I said I do not have a solution for you.

    I am a 64 yr old male

  • JLBrown
    JLBrown Member Posts: 3 Member
    #4

    It's such a vicious cycle. I get it that you drink to ease the pain and it's hard to give up smoking - a habit that you found comfort in for so many years. My husband will be 63 this year. His cancer is responding well to treatment but as you said too, he drinks to ease the pain. Thank you for your courage to post about your struggles. I wish there was something that I could do to help my husband and you for that matter. I wish you many blessings during this time.

  • ktp1017
    ktp1017 Member Posts: 1 *
    #5

    My father was just diagnosed this week and experienced a failed stint in rehab last year. It is so hard to see him deteriorate rapidly because he does not want to take care of himself. Sometimes it feels like he has accepted his fate and it is heartbreaking to see. I do not live at home at this time, but my mother has about had it with him it seems. His alcoholism also affects his memory, and my mom reacts with anger, rather than trying to get him to talk. Unfortunately, it is a decision to take care of yourself that my father has to make. He is still a smoker but is down to about 1/4 a pack a day - if that. His drinking is starting to slow, however, my thought is that it is due to him not being able to get around as well as he used to. My dad is declining to what seems to be a rapid pace and he is just trying to keep up. You are doing nothing wrong; it is a personal choice. My best advice would be to offer support, and an ear to listen - without judgement, resentment, or anger. Just simply try to understand where they are coming from, what is causing them to drink or feel the way they are feeling.

    I am personally a medical marijuana patient, and I want my dad to become one with his treatment. I think that this would improve his mood, his symptoms, and his overall wellbeing. My father does not want to eat; however, I think this type of medicine will boost his appetite throughout his treatment. I want to see my dad giggle and smile again, I sure hope this works.

    As for you, I suggest doing whatever can keep you busy - if permitting. I have found some easy self-care techniques to help ease the ongoing anxiety I experience such as: a face mask, adding plants to my home, finding joy in the small and common things of life, a good cup of coffee, and even arts and crafts as a form of expressive therapy to help process during this time.

  • viatamea
    viatamea Member Posts: 6 Member
    #6

    Thanks for the information.

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