Hospice care

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  • Sestra17
    Sestra17 Member Posts: 72 Member
    edited June 2021 #22
    I'm so sorry Ruth.

    I'm so sorry Ruth.

  • LindaK.
    LindaK. Member Posts: 506 Member
    edited June 2021 #23
    Hospice

    Hi Ruth, my husband was on home hospice for about 3 weeks and then I had to take him to a hospice facility.  Home hospice here was a joke, they would come once a week and just type into their laptops.  Our daughter is a nurse and we could not care for him 24 hours/day. He was falling and we had to get some rest too.  Taking him there was the hardest thing I had to do.  Being there, however, was very comforting to me.  He was there 11 days, 7 days unresponsive.  The care there was like a spa, for both of us.  I could finally just be "the wife" and not the caretaker.  The only time I left in those 11 days was to go to the funeral home to make pre-arrangements.  I was in kind of a bubble, which helped me manage.  It is a sacred place to me.  One kind of funny thing, the home hospice people came and sat with me one day and just stared sadly at my husband. I told them to leave, they couldn't do anything for him there and surely didn't do much for him when he was home.  Thankfully, they left and didn't come back.  You and your husband can call the shots, As hard as it is, ask him what he wants so he feels in control.  

    Linda

  • Twinzma
    Twinzma Member Posts: 236 Member
    #24
    Speachless

    I am so sorry honey. I know that there are no words for what you are going through. I pray for a peaceful transition and for you to find peace. Please feel free to reach out to me personally. You can email me at my user name @ ymail.com. HUGS!!!!!

     

  • NewHere
    NewHere Member Posts: 1,429 Member
    edited June 2021 #25
    I Am So Sorry Ruth

    My thoughts are with you and your husband.  I have been in similar situations with family members...

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,289 Member
    #26
    Ruthmomto4 said:

    Thank you everyone

    He is still fighting but getting very weak. He threw up blood today so I think the end is coming. I keep having meltdowns and had to stop in the grocery store to calm down. I am not ready to live my life without him. my heart is breaking slowly it's like torture. 

    It is an awful place to be,

    It is an awful place to be, alternating between a numbing, robotic routine of doing what has to been done, and the moments where it comes to the front of your mind as to what is happening, anywhere and anytime, and you want to scream and wreck something [that's more me, I suppose]. Prolonged trauma like this does come with a cost later, I'm sure I had PTSD for quite a while. Know that after doing your best to be there for him, you'll need to look after you, even while or if you don't sense a problem. Enduring the moment is all we can do, I hope you find strength to deal with it all.....................................Dave

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    #27
    Hope

    When hope ends, all we can do is Pray.I"m so sorry!

  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    edited June 2021 #28
    Thinking of You

    Dear Ruth,  I am so sorry for the circumstances you are going through.  There is never enough time.  My Mama was 97 years old when she went to heaven.  The hospice nurses who came were ok.  The most important thing turned out to be having the ability to control her pain and her anxiety.  I know you are probably physically and emotionally exhausted.  It is truly a labor of love and you will not regret it no matter how hard it gets.  I slept with my Mama so I could listen to her breath and  be close if she needed anything.  My sister and I stayed with her and took turns.  I hope you have family that can help you.   You and your dear husband are in my prayers.

    Debbie

     

  • Tueffel
    Tueffel Member Posts: 327 Member
    edited June 2021 #29
    I cant imagine

    I cant imagine how you feel but I am sure everything you feel is normal. I am sending prayers to you and your family. 

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