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Hi Bowesre

While I was the patient and not the caretaker, I just wanted to say that if you ever wanted to bounce ideas off of me, I'd be happy to discuss.   Four years ago, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 non-small cell that had metastasized to my brain... Two brain surgeries, radiation on my brain, and 1.5 years of chemo later, I have zero active cancer cells.  And, minus 4 cats, I live alone and am 51.  Luckily, I remained very self-sufficient, even with the brain surgeries.  

The absolute hardest part for me was emotional support (I am very blessed with a rock solid group of friends and coworkers)... So, my best advice would be to remain understanding, forgiving, and a good listener...some of the meds your husband may have to take may cause mood swings - they did for me ...

One thing for certain is that I would not change anything that I went through...I learned so much about myself and others - and, had the opportunity to see so much good that had I not been sick, I would have never had the opportunity to witness.

A last note is that, know you will hear "big scarey" words (for me that was metastatic and craniotomy) ... but, they are just words ... always remember, words do not predict outcome.  

I wish you and your husband the best.

EES said:

Thoughts from a Stage 4 survivor

Hi Bowesre

While I was the patient and not the caretaker, I just wanted to say that if you ever wanted to bounce ideas off of me, I'd be happy to discuss.   Four years ago, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 non-small cell that had metastasized to my brain... Two brain surgeries, radiation on my brain, and 1.5 years of chemo later, I have zero active cancer cells.  And, minus 4 cats, I live alone and am 51.  Luckily, I remained very self-sufficient, even with the brain surgeries.  

The absolute hardest part for me was emotional support (I am very blessed with a rock solid group of friends and coworkers)... So, my best advice would be to remain understanding, forgiving, and a good listener...some of the meds your husband may have to take may cause mood swings - they did for me ...

One thing for certain is that I would not change anything that I went through...I learned so much about myself and others - and, had the opportunity to see so much good that had I not been sick, I would have never had the opportunity to witness.

A last note is that, know you will hear "big scarey" words (for me that was metastatic and craniotomy) ... but, they are just words ... always remember, words do not predict outcome.  

I wish you and your husband the best.

 

I was so glad to read your post.  I think it offers much hope as to what can be accomplished even at the later stages.  I wonder sometimes if reading the stats that are posted all over the cancer sites are doing anyone a favor.  What good does it do to know according to the stats stage 3a has 36% surival.  I think your oncologist should be discussing this he knows your whole story.  I am sure being dignoses with stage 4 non small cell wouldn't bring up many good stats yet here you are a survivor and it is wonderful to hear the impossible happened.  I go along with you.  I had stage 3a and surgeon said I had a chance to beat the cancer.  But I find my emotions to be the most difficult to deal with.  1 hour I think I am going to meet the 5 year mark and the next hour I think I will have a recurrence on the next CT scan.  I also need to lodge it in my brain words do not predict outcome.  Thank you again for your post.