Approaching 10 years since initial dx...and "hello"

Friends (old and new)...

Its been a pretty long time since I've posted here yet still occasionally read through to stay in the know, and I suppose in a way still feel never alone in my boat! Thats such a BIG part of this support forum...to remind us we aren't alone and someone here has on some level shared the same experience and can relate better than anyone else.

Next week it'll be 10 years since I was diagnosed with Stage 3b anal cancer. After being treated with protocal chemo/radiation as well as surgery resulting in what turned out to be a permanent ostomy, I made it through! A year later I was dx with breast cancer and treated with a double mastectomy (honestly, after the pain and shock I suffered with the anal cancer, this was an easier pill to swallow at the time) Once healed I was doing well in both regards and adjusting to whatever life was at the time, and enjoying the fact that I could. A few years later a follow up scan revealed a large mass on my lung that turned out to be an anal cancer met. I had surgery (lobectomy) to remove the left lower lobe that contained the mass combined with an aggressive course of chemo. All good again, recovered, and loving life! Then, a couple years later on another follow up scan, again a small second anal met on my airway (hilum area)...this time treatment was SBRT radiation (extremely precise intense dose) This spring that will have been 3 years ago and as I write this I feel great and my most recent scan in August was good, yet I am all too aware of how quickly things can take a turn.

During my 10 year journey, my husband had been on his own, and one with even greater and harder to treat hills and valleys with Multiple Myeloma (a blood cancer) 2 transplants, multiple surgeries and radiation treatments and too many chemo regimens to even count. His most recent chemos were barely on the market and hopefully his participation will prove to help in the future. This past summer he was hospitalized several times (so hard for the family during covid with no visitation except for myself) and during one of his hospital stays in July...wait for it...our house burned down!!! It was determined electrical and a total loss, and as well as losing all the material things it held, it took his fight too!! Though it was likely unavoidable and a discussion we had visited over the summer anyhow, once discharged he had made the decision to quit all treatment and enter hospice. It was a tough time for us both between the loss of our home and these seemingly impossible health decisions, but the benefits felt, seemed to be far outweighed by the risks at this point and it was his wish to stop. We were blessed to have friends with a small house that was empty because they were fixing it up to sell or rent, but nearly done and they offered it to us to use for as long as needed. My husband was only in home hospice for a few weeks and in Setember he passed, but it was in many ways the best 3 weeks of our lives. Until we couldn't, (and then I did and he just listened) we talked non stop about life, past and present, future, family, and anything that came to mind. The kids were able to visit and all 5, spouses, and 9 grandkids showed up for a family picture...I am so grateful they made the effort and for their own sake, have good memories. Once able, I had to deal with matters of the house fire and recently bought a new small 2 bed home in town (we had been in the country) but for now have kept the property out there also (the remains of the home have been demolished). Its a nicely wooded 3 acre spot and there is a small garage that was uneffected so good storage space too...my husband loved the area and now the kids and I love the way we feel his presence when were out there. 

Life is gradually moving forward, the usual daily things like car issues, phone issues, new house stuff, adult kid issues, grandkid visits (albeit virtual) balanced healthy eating and exercise with cheesecake and Netflix series on the couch are doing their best to enable me to say I'm doing pretty much good and at least riding the waves and holding my own for now. 

I know this was long and not so much about "anal cancer" as it was to say hello and welcome to new folks, hello and I'll never forget the people who have been so supportive to me in the past and to remind all to treasure the moments we have regardless of how small or insignificant, painful or happy they are, because our time is not infinite, yet the imprints we leave on others often lasts in ways we can never imagine. That is what I have gained here, from little tips on treating burns, how to feel okay about taking pain meds and weaning off, relieving nausea in the middle of the night, to as I said never ever feeling alone in this still sometimes taboo and hard to discuss diagnosis and feeling vibes of encouragement always!!

Thank you all (and I hope to pop in again, before the next decade)

katheryn