New Here. Just looking for support

so you are not alone, and you have arrived at the right place to get support. 

There is nothing that can prepare you for those first few weeks, month even, after diagnosis.  The fear can be overwhelming, and at the end of the day, is just a natural response to this great unknown you are facing.  

While I say 'unknown', I'm sure you know a little about Cancer and none of it good.  

Now for the good part. This awful first few weeks will soon be behind you, and you will move forward into a treatment plan. Plans are good. They take the fear out of the unknown. Once your team figures out what exactly is going on, good or not so good, they will have a treatment plan for you, and that makes things a whole lot better.  A weight will be off your shoulders, and you can move forward with faith, that all will be well. 

Keep on walking, talking and doing what you can to make sure you're not totally obsessing over your diagnoisis. I won't tell you not to be anxious over the upcoming scan results, because that won't work, so just ride with it and get some pleasure in there as much as you can.

Stick with us and we will stick with you. 

Welcome to the forum. Its a good place. 

Tru

Jurav said:

Thanks

Thanks Trubit. 

I got the results back last evening. The CT Scan showed no signs of it spreading to the liver, and all of the lymph nodes look normal size. My doctor wants me to follow-up with an oncologist to get chemo as a precaution.

I've never been through anything like this, so it's been a scarey thing. It's nice to know you are all here helping people with this.

Depending on your ability to handle anxiety, you might want to skim through the site for information about chemo.  It might be useful to help you formulate questions for when you meet with the oncologist.  "Staging" is also a bit of the vocabulary frequently used here.  Likely it appears in some of the reports you already have, but you might want to ask your current doctor what "stage" you are at.  Knowing that sometimes help you decipher the approaches various people have taken.

And as Tru has said, many of us find exercise a valuable tool in dealing with the issues that arise.  From my perspective, exercise helps with everything.

Sorry you are here, but hopefully you can find some valuable resources and support.

Oh boy, do we know ecactly that dread that you are feeling.  No one expects to hear those three words, "you have cancer".  Mine was also discovered at my 50th birthday check due to bleeding and my doctor thought the same thing about the hemorrhoids, which turned out to be a tumor.  

I'm sure that you will be in contact with an oncologist so they can talk to you about how they wish to proceed with treatment.  Your head will swirl until you think you can't stand one more doctor talking to you about it.  Tests and more tests, anxiety and uncertainty.

We have many experiences to share with you.  We also have many eyes and ears to listen, help and share what we have gone through.

I'm sorry you had to join this group, but you have joined one that can help you get through this.  Wishing you the best.

Kim

Hi Jurav,

As you read, the most important take away is that I am approaching this one step at a time and I would encourage you to do the same. I therfore ONLY focus on whatever test or treatment is coming next with no mental energy allowed to focus on anything past that. Also, listen closely for the good news that comes from your discussions with your care team, the test results, your unique treatment plan etc., and celebrate those small victories when they come!

With that said, what you are going through sucks, and I'm sorry to say I am right there with you. I'm only 40 and 4 months ago I was totally fine, after 2 months of chasing down doctors to explain some "non-specific abdominal pains" I've since learned that I am stage 4. I had a extended right hemicoloctomy 3 weeks ago and am now moving on to dealing with met to my liver. I'll add though that I am menatally OK with this diagnosis! Here is how I have approached this journey so far, maybe some of it will help you or others.

The 1st day after the colonoscopy where I was told I had a fully obstructred tumor that was likely cancerous I started a private document for daily self reflection. I asked myself the questions below and each morning or night I wrote whatever came to mind. After a couple days I shared this with my wife so she could get inside my head. This helped her to know what I was feeling and she could then be supportive in specific ways that made sense.

• How am I feeling today?
• What did I learn today about my condition?
• What am I afraid of?
• What am I optimistic about?
• What is most important to me?
• What is on my mind?

It sounds corny but I wrote in this document everyday for the 3 weeks leading up to surgery, some days I didn't have much to say, others I had a lot. I also talked to family, close friends, and colleagues to tell them what I was going through. Normally I am a very private person so it was hard to have these conversations, but saying the words "I have cancer" to multiple people and talking openly about what I was feeling really helped. The first few conversations were exhausting, it got easier though. I also wrote about and told my wife repeatedly that while I will have to go through this physically, she will have to go through it emotionally and that is harder in my opinion. This allowed me to remember that I need to be there to support her just as much as she needs to support me.

I ended this journal on the day I went into surgery and my last entry was that my goal was to come home after surgery and delete this journal, which I did.

While I was in the hospital I learned I was stage 4, so quickly I went from foolishly hoping this surgery would be the end of my cancer path to realizing that it was just the beginning. I am now healing up and waiting for immunotherapy to start (I am MSI-H) and planning the next surgery. I don't need the journal anymore becuase it served its purpose and now I can just approach this one step at a time. I am only worried about whatever comes next. For me that will be learning about the side effects of treatment, then it will be getting a port installed, then it will be prepping for liver surgery, etc... This simple and focused mindset has helped guide my research, make good decisions about my care, and prevented me from ever feeling like I was doomed.

Funny side story...While in the hospital getting prepped for surgery, the nurse asked me if I knew why I was here, and without skipping a beat I blurted out "I'M HERE TO KICK THE S#!% OUT OF CANCER!". I'm still working on that and I hope that you will do the same! Stay strong and positive!

Jurav said:

Sorry for the late reply

Hi all.

I apologize for replying so late, but it's been a rough few weeks.

So it's been classified as Stage 3A. A small Tumor in the colon (1cm) and two close lymphnodes with small 1mm spots on them.

The CT scan showed no sign of a problem in the liver, but my oncologist ordered a PET Scan due to the lymphnodes being affected.

I had my Port put in on Thursday for the Chemo coming in a week or so, but I am still waiting for the results of the PET Scan that was done on Friday.

That same dread and doom feeling has been overpowering at times, just waiting for the results.

Thank you all so much for your experiences and advice.

I am exercising as much as I can...I walk two to three times per day, and do 25-30 minutes on an exercise bike every other day, followed by a few sets of squats.

 

I wish you all the best,

Jurav

 

Hi Jurav:  my diiagnoses of Stage 3 a colon cancer with two lymph nodes positive close to the original in the colon. About 1 cm in the colon in 2007.   I did surgery to remove the tumor and then folfox followed  by radiation.  That was 13 years ago,and obviously, I am fine.  You will be too.  Any cancer diagnoses is scary, but you have every reason to believe you will be ok.  I don't post too often anymore, but this caught my eye.  

Jurav said:

Pet Scan Results

Sorry for the late update, but the results of the PET Scan were good... No Evidence of the Disease from my eyes to my kneees.

I've started Chemo, which will be twelve treatments over the next six months.

The cold sensitivity is a struggle, but I can deal with that. and the fatigue is odd. I am fine, pretty much all day, but then at 7 or 8 pm I am ready to sleep. I doze off on the couch and sleep for 9 to 10 hours. Deffinitely not what my normal sleep schedule is (usully 5-7 hours at most).

I am hopeful for a clean scan again after six months.

Congratulations.  It sounds like you have had good results and aside from the chemo, should have peace for a while.  Bluntly, chemo sucks.  You might want to read about the side effects and advice from prior posts on the forum, or say what you are on and ask for advice.  Good luck with the challenges ahead and good health to you.

Jurav said:

Chemo Type

They are giving me Folfox 

I get my treatment in the beginning of the week. I leave the treatment with a pump for two days, then I return to have the pump removed.

Many of us have been on that route. 

I wish you the best, with the minimal of side effects. 

Tru