Ultrasound Tomorrow

PulsarXray
PulsarXray Member Posts: 4
edited November 2020 in Head and Neck Cancer #1

It all started 5 months ago. Symptoms of having a raw throat, whitening of my pharynx behind my jaw line, increased anxiety, an ulcer that hasn't gone away located behind my left bottom wisdom tooth, right ear pain, pain surrounding my larynx and in the bottom of my jaw, all leading up to having a hardened buldge on the right side of my larynx. I can feel it if I follow my voice box around to the right side, and at least 2 greately enlarged lymph nodes on the right side under my jaw and right ear. One day I woke up with reddening around my left eye that was itchy, another time I had a rash on my chest that covered both breast plates and a bit of the bottom of my neck. Sometimes it causes swelling in my neck to be very intense and full of pain. Other days the swelling will receede, however the feeling of the hard knot doesn't ever go away. I'm a 31 year old male with no prior medical history, atheletic and healthy. I've become worried about these symptoms and am faily scared to say the least. I have not dealt with much anxiety in life, now I cannot seem to stop thinking about it and my anxiety has increased 10 fold. I have seen an ENT in which he has ordered a Thyroid Ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow. He didn't feel the knot on the right side of my larynx as I did and can every day, I assume to him not digging his fingers in deep enough. The knot is fairly deep on the right side. I've payed attention to it's growth and it has enlarged over the past couple months. I have a very random cough that occurs and doesn't go away.

 

With all of this being said, I'm not searching here for a diagnoses. I'm searching here to connect to people that are going through what I am. My family doesn't seem to understand how sick I've become over the past few months and they still think I should be operating as a normal human. I've have not been scared of much in life, but now more than ever... I think it's safe to say I'm terrified. I have 5 young children that need me and I'm becomming unable to take on all of my responsibilites assigned to me. I do not have insurance and I've been paying out of pocket for the tests ordered. If in the case I have laryngeal cancer I obviously want to start treatment asap so I can have better odds of a successful prognosis. I've lost interest in many things and have become delirious, having many negative thoughts and can't seem to see any positivity through the day which is highly unlike myslef. I have no idea what I'm doing or what needs to be done in order to figure out what is happeneing to me and how serious it is. I'm a low income citizen that cannot afford proper medical treatment if indeed it is serious, in which I highly suspect. I have questions but my mind is filled with so much fodder it's hard to put them down and I become very confused when asked what's wrong with me. My symptoms have ranged from serious heart palpitations to minor headaches and are very confusing. The only thing that is consistent seems to be the hard knot I feel in the right side of my throat and under the back right side of my tongue.

 

I would like to understand what's happeneing to me, and hear others speak on the matter as well. This is me reaching out in the void and hopping that someone out there can shed light on my situation and help me to be mentally stronger than I am now. I've been weakened by this physically and mentally and every day it eats more and more of me away. If you have any comment please share it with me for I will be forever greateful just to hear your opinion and words of wisdom. In the instance that this is laryngeal cancer, or any form of head and neck cancer... does that mean it's a death sentence? This could have been occuring for quite some time unnoticed. My emotions are so back and forth I cry and laugh and cry some more, I don't see any light at all. I've quit reading, I've quite studying, I've almost given up. The times I've been to the doctor in the past months I've had blood tests ran and swabs done. All coming back clear. The doctors have looked down my throat and all around my mouth and said everything seems to be fine. I know it's not and it's worsening. However I believe because I'm not part of the demographic catagory of smokers and drinkers that are in the age range for head and neck cancer I'm not listened to and I fear now my condition has worsened because of it. Please advise me on what I should be doing or how I should be going about all of this. Appointments seem to be so scattered apart where I've waited a whole month from doctor appointment to ultrasound and it seems though no one takes this as emergent as it should be taken. Everything I read about laryngeal cancer shoots down my hopes as well...

 

Anyhow I'll stop rambling on. I look forward to connecting with leterally anyone that shares my fear or has anything at all to say. Thank you so much in advance.

Comments

  • wbcgaruss
    wbcgaruss Member Posts: 2,465 Member
    edited November 2020 #2
    Hello and Welcome

    To the forum. The place we end up but don't really want to be here. But we help each other. Sorry, you find yourself here but the first thing is "It's Not Cancer Till They Say It Is". And what we mean by that is usually a CAT Scan with dye which indicates the possibility or probability of cancer and then they go in and take a physical sample (Biopsy) of the suspected cancer and have it tested. When that is done they can verify that it is or isn't cancer and if so what type it is such as Squamous Cell carcinoma. And the second thing is to stop worrying as it changes nothing and just makes you feel bad in other ways. I know it's not easy but just stay as busy as possible between doctor visits and that shouldn't be too hard with 5 kids and keep your mind off it. Just make up your mind that you are going to grit your teeth and defeat whatever it is that is going on. Your doctors it seems have checked you pretty thoroughly and I would think if anything major was wrong one of them would have found it. At least your ENT has ordered a thyroid scan so maybe he's onto something. If you still have problems I would mention to him that you would like a CT Scan with Dye of the area in question. Usually, this is what is done then if they suspect cancer you get a biopsy and if it is cancer for sure they then do a PET Scan which is a whole-body scan some refer to as 'eyes to thighs' scan to see if cancer has spread anywhere else in the body. I hope some of this info helps. Stay strong and have a positive attitude that you are going to defeat this no matter what it is and if God Forbid it is cancer take heart there have been many great advances in treating cancer it is not the death sentence it used to be many years ago. I have had cancer 3 times and it has successfully treated and many others on here have been treated with great outcomes of success. Take care-God Bless-Russ

     

  • PulsarXray
    PulsarXray Member Posts: 4
    edited November 2020 #3
    Russ, 

    Russ, 

        I would like to thank you truly for your prompt reply to my thread. It absolutely helps me to read your words of success and accomplishments with fighting such a terrible disease! I am trying to bite down and keep positive, I have terrible feelings of a "spacey mind" or feeling of delirium due to the pain on the right side being so intense at times which makes it very difficult for me to bare. I'm sure others are in more pain than I since I've never had many painful experiances in life and don't fully understand true pain in general. I know my words are a bit overspoken in the fact that many with a confirmed diagnoses are probably going through a very tough time mentally and physically. Much tougher of a time than I am going through I'm sure since everything is still on the table for me except common strep or colds. Just about my whole life I've been in school and have studied, loved to fish, and the little ones do brighten my day. However as of late (how terrible this may sound) the pain has caused me to feel awkwardly down, having worse symptoms than i've ever been through. Things that i've enjoyed for years are now becoming hard to enjoy and struggling and juggling the stress is tough to manage. With this being said i've taken heed to your advice as you are definately one to speak out to a crowd in worrisome times. Your welcome to the forum is very much appreciated and I could not thank you enough honestly. The loneliness of a family that doesn't understand what I'm going through is really putting some edge on things and I can't seem to find a good medium right now in the way things are going. Reading through your post makes things much brighter as you have knowledge that is commendable in the community with a heart to spread it. I will take your advice and try harder to manage my mental status through this time of mystery and as soon as I have answers I will share them with you and the community here. Tomorrow I will have some kind of direction and when my doctor calls with my results I will ask for a CT scan with dye. In any case I will push further for stability of the mind. It helps speaking with a community that have similar problems even if it's not cancer, just having an anomoly in my throat that is in pain and connecting to others with knowledge helps me tremendously.

  • OhNoItsMe
    OhNoItsMe Member Posts: 21 Member
    #4
    Welcome

    I am a new member of this club of sorts. I felt my lymph node swollen on 8/30, tried antibiotics for a while hoping it was infection, and got a cancer diagnosis on 10/13. After that, I got a numb feeling all over mentally and things just went into a whirlwind. I had a PET scan that showed activity around my lungs, so I had to have surgery to biopsy the lymph nodes around lungs. I feel your pain, and suggest you get some help with the mental side of it soon as it is a LOT to take in. I was healthy before all of this too, and it came out of left field.  Talk with your Dr about some anxiety meds and if that may be right for you. That truly helped me cope mentally until it all got digested. I started treatment of my tonsil cancer that had local spread to my lymph node, on 11/11, so I am in the beginning stages of treatment. It is a LOT to take in and your mind will race in so many directions and you will probably stay on google trying to find out all the worst case scenarios. Trust in the Dr's and let them tell you the diagnosis first and take it one step at a time. You can't worry about the cost of treatment right now... your life is worth It. Inbox me if you would like to talk more. 

     

  • wbcgaruss
    wbcgaruss Member Posts: 2,465 Member
    edited November 2020 #5
    PulsarXray said:

    Russ, 

    Russ, 

        I would like to thank you truly for your prompt reply to my thread. It absolutely helps me to read your words of success and accomplishments with fighting such a terrible disease! I am trying to bite down and keep positive, I have terrible feelings of a "spacey mind" or feeling of delirium due to the pain on the right side being so intense at times which makes it very difficult for me to bare. I'm sure others are in more pain than I since I've never had many painful experiances in life and don't fully understand true pain in general. I know my words are a bit overspoken in the fact that many with a confirmed diagnoses are probably going through a very tough time mentally and physically. Much tougher of a time than I am going through I'm sure since everything is still on the table for me except common strep or colds. Just about my whole life I've been in school and have studied, loved to fish, and the little ones do brighten my day. However as of late (how terrible this may sound) the pain has caused me to feel awkwardly down, having worse symptoms than i've ever been through. Things that i've enjoyed for years are now becoming hard to enjoy and struggling and juggling the stress is tough to manage. With this being said i've taken heed to your advice as you are definately one to speak out to a crowd in worrisome times. Your welcome to the forum is very much appreciated and I could not thank you enough honestly. The loneliness of a family that doesn't understand what I'm going through is really putting some edge on things and I can't seem to find a good medium right now in the way things are going. Reading through your post makes things much brighter as you have knowledge that is commendable in the community with a heart to spread it. I will take your advice and try harder to manage my mental status through this time of mystery and as soon as I have answers I will share them with you and the community here. Tomorrow I will have some kind of direction and when my doctor calls with my results I will ask for a CT scan with dye. In any case I will push further for stability of the mind. It helps speaking with a community that have similar problems even if it's not cancer, just having an anomoly in my throat that is in pain and connecting to others with knowledge helps me tremendously.

    Thank You PulsarXray for You Post Back and

    The one thing I see you are struggling with is pain. Get with your doctor and let him know you are in some serious pain and get him to give you some pain meds to keep your pain managed till you get through this period. You will find if you can manage or at least take the edge off it you will be able to think and function much better. Wishing you the best-Take Care-God Bless-Russ

  • PulsarXray
    PulsarXray Member Posts: 4
    edited November 2020 #6
    wbcgaruss said:

    Thank You PulsarXray for You Post Back and

    The one thing I see you are struggling with is pain. Get with your doctor and let him know you are in some serious pain and get him to give you some pain meds to keep your pain managed till you get through this period. You will find if you can manage or at least take the edge off it you will be able to think and function much better. Wishing you the best-Take Care-God Bless-Russ

    I am definately struggling

    I am definately struggling with pain. I just had my ultrasound done today so when I call him thursday to get the results I will ask to see him about the pain as well! The tech couldn't tell me anything due to her not being qualified to speak on the matter which i'm sure you are aware of so all this waiting and not knowing is getting to me as well. Hopefully will have a more clear answer coming in the next month as to what my situation is!

  • SuzJ
    SuzJ Member Posts: 446 Member
    edited November 2020 #7
    Not Dr Google

    Please, Please, stay away from Dr Google, he ddoes NOT have your best interests at heart.

    As Russ said, "it's not cancer until they say it's cancer"

    Mind state, if it is, you need to have your mind in a GOOD state, don't panic, don't get anxious, you have to be in the "I CAN BEAT THIS" state of mind - you will also find pain isn't so bad, if you don't think about it. But I did the whole thing on Tylenol, not that I didn't have pain, I just refuse to take meds that mess my head up. I have always been the same.

    EMBRACE the good things - (yes, I said good things) Before any treatment, EAT, really, really EAT, have everything you love - have Christmas and Thanksgiving meals every day! Putting on a few pounds is not a bad thing.

    I found that while I wanted radiation to be done and over early in the day, later would have been better. My reasoning was, I get rads over, and go to work - well 15 minutes in a microwave is very tiring, so, now I see, that wakeing, working and then getting nuked would have been better.. Hindsight is 20/20 afterall.

    Again, NO DR GOOGLE - anything you need to know, is either in the Superthread at the very top. or can be found by asking here. If I had gone by Dr Google, I'd be gone by now. Brutal but true.

    I was told, the first step insurance wants you to have, is Horse sized (no joke) antibiotics.. Oh Joy (sarcasm)

  • PulsarXray
    PulsarXray Member Posts: 4
    edited November 2020 #8
    SuzJ said:

    Not Dr Google

    Please, Please, stay away from Dr Google, he ddoes NOT have your best interests at heart.

    As Russ said, "it's not cancer until they say it's cancer"

    Mind state, if it is, you need to have your mind in a GOOD state, don't panic, don't get anxious, you have to be in the "I CAN BEAT THIS" state of mind - you will also find pain isn't so bad, if you don't think about it. But I did the whole thing on Tylenol, not that I didn't have pain, I just refuse to take meds that mess my head up. I have always been the same.

    EMBRACE the good things - (yes, I said good things) Before any treatment, EAT, really, really EAT, have everything you love - have Christmas and Thanksgiving meals every day! Putting on a few pounds is not a bad thing.

    I found that while I wanted radiation to be done and over early in the day, later would have been better. My reasoning was, I get rads over, and go to work - well 15 minutes in a microwave is very tiring, so, now I see, that wakeing, working and then getting nuked would have been better.. Hindsight is 20/20 afterall.

    Again, NO DR GOOGLE - anything you need to know, is either in the Superthread at the very top. or can be found by asking here. If I had gone by Dr Google, I'd be gone by now. Brutal but true.

    I was told, the first step insurance wants you to have, is Horse sized (no joke) antibiotics.. Oh Joy (sarcasm)

    Lol I love your input! It

    Lol I love your input! It really makes me feel more comfortable. Also I have not seen Dr. Google in quite some time now that I have some direction on things. My ultrasound turned up swollen lymph nodes all throughout my neck, primarily on the right side as well as an anomoly in my throat on that side. I see the doc again this Wednesday to see what he want's to do about it. He mentioned leaning toward a surgical biopsy so the way it sounds is the lump in my neck will be removed and tested. Just getting the lump out will be a huge pain and stress reliever! I am terrified of needles and knives however I'm quite excited to go down and have it removed if that's the plan.

     

    Thank you so much SuzJ for your replay and I will keep everyone posted on what's happening when Wednesday rolls around!

  • ERomanO
    ERomanO Member Posts: 323 Member
    edited November 2020 #9
    Welcome!

    I can relate to a little of your anxiety, PulsarXray.  It was at least a month between the time my PCP felt a couple swollen lymph nodes (which still weren't visible) at my yearly physical and when they finally had a diagnosis.  The first (local) ENT I saw, and his nurses, were pretty hyper and that just raised my anxiety level.  I lost about 10 lbs during that month.  But when I went for a 2nd opinion up at Cleveland Clinic, the ENT there was as calm as can be when he told of the official diagnosis and that there is a 90-94% chance of being cure of the cancer... and no surgery was necessary (and that was coming from a surgeon).  From that point on I was as relaxed as a retired person could/should be.  The right doctors and staff) made all the difference.

    Please visit often.  You'll get a lot of support here.

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