Ultrasound Tomorrow

It all started 5 months ago. Symptoms of having a raw throat, whitening of my pharynx behind my jaw line, increased anxiety, an ulcer that hasn't gone away located behind my left bottom wisdom tooth, right ear pain, pain surrounding my larynx and in the bottom of my jaw, all leading up to having a hardened buldge on the right side of my larynx. I can feel it if I follow my voice box around to the right side, and at least 2 greately enlarged lymph nodes on the right side under my jaw and right ear. One day I woke up with reddening around my left eye that was itchy, another time I had a rash on my chest that covered both breast plates and a bit of the bottom of my neck. Sometimes it causes swelling in my neck to be very intense and full of pain. Other days the swelling will receede, however the feeling of the hard knot doesn't ever go away. I'm a 31 year old male with no prior medical history, atheletic and healthy. I've become worried about these symptoms and am faily scared to say the least. I have not dealt with much anxiety in life, now I cannot seem to stop thinking about it and my anxiety has increased 10 fold. I have seen an ENT in which he has ordered a Thyroid Ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow. He didn't feel the knot on the right side of my larynx as I did and can every day, I assume to him not digging his fingers in deep enough. The knot is fairly deep on the right side. I've payed attention to it's growth and it has enlarged over the past couple months. I have a very random cough that occurs and doesn't go away.

With all of this being said, I'm not searching here for a diagnoses. I'm searching here to connect to people that are going through what I am. My family doesn't seem to understand how sick I've become over the past few months and they still think I should be operating as a normal human. I've have not been scared of much in life, but now more than ever... I think it's safe to say I'm terrified. I have 5 young children that need me and I'm becomming unable to take on all of my responsibilites assigned to me. I do not have insurance and I've been paying out of pocket for the tests ordered. If in the case I have laryngeal cancer I obviously want to start treatment asap so I can have better odds of a successful prognosis. I've lost interest in many things and have become delirious, having many negative thoughts and can't seem to see any positivity through the day which is highly unlike myslef. I have no idea what I'm doing or what needs to be done in order to figure out what is happeneing to me and how serious it is. I'm a low income citizen that cannot afford proper medical treatment if indeed it is serious, in which I highly suspect. I have questions but my mind is filled with so much fodder it's hard to put them down and I become very confused when asked what's wrong with me. My symptoms have ranged from serious heart palpitations to minor headaches and are very confusing. The only thing that is consistent seems to be the hard knot I feel in the right side of my throat and under the back right side of my tongue.

I would like to understand what's happeneing to me, and hear others speak on the matter as well. This is me reaching out in the void and hopping that someone out there can shed light on my situation and help me to be mentally stronger than I am now. I've been weakened by this physically and mentally and every day it eats more and more of me away. If you have any comment please share it with me for I will be forever greateful just to hear your opinion and words of wisdom. In the instance that this is laryngeal cancer, or any form of head and neck cancer... does that mean it's a death sentence? This could have been occuring for quite some time unnoticed. My emotions are so back and forth I cry and laugh and cry some more, I don't see any light at all. I've quit reading, I've quite studying, I've almost given up. The times I've been to the doctor in the past months I've had blood tests ran and swabs done. All coming back clear. The doctors have looked down my throat and all around my mouth and said everything seems to be fine. I know it's not and it's worsening. However I believe because I'm not part of the demographic catagory of smokers and drinkers that are in the age range for head and neck cancer I'm not listened to and I fear now my condition has worsened because of it. Please advise me on what I should be doing or how I should be going about all of this. Appointments seem to be so scattered apart where I've waited a whole month from doctor appointment to ultrasound and it seems though no one takes this as emergent as it should be taken. Everything I read about laryngeal cancer shoots down my hopes as well...

Anyhow I'll stop rambling on. I look forward to connecting with leterally anyone that shares my fear or has anything at all to say. Thank you so much in advance.