Treatments done but . . .

My story is much like yours, just one year older. I was diagnosed in September 2018; surgery October 2018; chemo November 2018-April 2019. Dying was the only thing I could think of from diagnosis until mid-chemo. Then chemo was all I could think of - yuck! As time passed the thoughts of dying lessened. They still pop up every once in awhile, out of the blue. Little aches and pains, a dark spot on an x-ray (turned out it was a gas bubble ) all produce a little tingle of fear. But I recently took an outdoor vacation with my 5 year-old granddaughter and after an exhausting, fun-filled week, I was struck with awe that I'm still here, able to hike, able to climb a bucketload of steps, and able to have such a great "girls trip." I guess my advice is to congratulate yourself on how strong you really are and how much you have overcome so far. I think the fear is pretty normal and may never leave us completely. But I'm going to keep enjoying those awestruck moments that remind me that I'm still alive.