It’s in my lungs

JAL23_wife said:

Update on JAL_23

Hi All,

My name is Emily and I am John's (JAL_23) widow. John passed away suddenly at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC) in NYC on June 11, 2018. I was right beside him, holding his hand when he passed.

Like everything with John's cancer - his passing was also shocking and unexplainable. He had been admitted to MSKCC for "symptom management" - largely due to a spike in his calcium level. About 5 minutes before he passed we received good news that he was going to be discharged the next day and would receive a second round of immunotherapy before heading home (as you may recall - he had just started a clinical trial.) The doctor walked out and as the next nurse was walking in John squeezed my hand in our special unspoken language for "I love you" - and with that he closed his eyes and passed away. His team said the only thing that could have caused him from being awake and alert and talking to just gone was a giant blood clot or an embolism. It's the most painless and the fastest way anyone can go. Given the treatment outlook, it was probably a blessing but more than that, I am comforted by the fact that we never EVER gave up. We fought to the very end. He wasn't even on oxygen at the end. I had spoken with his surgeon who happened to be rounding on the floor just a few hours before he died and I said: "are you sure we are doing the right thing?" and she assured me that he was young and we had every reason to keep fighting.

It's hard to believe it's been almost two years. I am sorry I didn't reach out sooner with this update. I know how much he appreciated all of you and valued your support. I miss him everyday. 

Mainly I just wanted to post here to say thank you. John was the smartest man in any room but he was also a fiercely private and independent person. I am so glad he had all of you to offer support through this difficult journey. My heart goes out to all who are battling this nasty disease - and your families, too. Please know that although we will never know your pain, we are fighting right alongside you.

 

with love and hope,

 

Emily

 

For the update though a sad one. I am so sorry for your loss and you have my deepest sympathy and condolences. We hate to see an update like this as it seems so saddening cancer has taken another of our members. I am glad John was able to fight right to the very end and that you as a couple had a very special bond known only by you folks. And I am glad that John's passing was not painful and drawn out a true blessing but I'm sure still a shock to you. I pray your memories are a blessing to you and May God watch over you and care for you-Take Care-God Bless-Russ

How kind of you to post. Very sorry for your heartache. It sounds like you shared beautiful times together. 

You have my condolences. May he always be in your heart.