Uncertainty

lhduffer
lhduffer Member Posts: 90 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1

Finally had my annual scan and bloodwork that was postponed from March due to COVID-19.  Was really hoping to report year 4 NED but, alas, that was not to be.

They found a very small (3mm) nodule on my right lung and unfortunately I had an increase in my CEA to a 5.8.  While my surgeon would not have been concerned with just one or the other, a combination of the two has made him put me on closer surveillance again.  So back I go in 7 weeks for a repeat.  He is still telling me he is not overly concerned but that we have to be prudent and follow up on this change.

So while trying to keep the anxiety at bay and assume it is just a blip caused by an infection or inflammation (mentioned on the report), I will also keep in mind that if it is something we have caught it early.

Although I don't post much, but instead follow, I also want to take this chance to say "thanks" to all of you who do post regularly.  You have helped me from day 1 and are a comfort to all here.

Lisa

Comments

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    edited June 2020 #2
    Drat!

    I could think of another D word, to put in the subject line, but must be good. 

    While the Doctor thinks all is well, I bet I know what you are thinking, and these next 7 weeks will not be easy.  

    For some of us, we never truly shake the feeling that the 'other shoe will drop', and then, when it looks like it it, we are of course, devestated. 

    Here's hoping that in seven weeks, your scans will prove that it was just some kind of infection running foul.   You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. 

    Tru

     

  • Tom M.
    Tom M. Member Posts: 223 Member
    #3
    You're in my prayers

    I know that it is easy for someone else to say don't panic. But I want to say to you, stay focused. 5.8 CEA is really not that high. I'm pretty sure that some maintinance chemo can bring it back down within normal range. Another thing is that scans can show alot of nothing. A leison or a nodule can be anything. It doesn't have to mean something bad. I know the waiting can drive you nuts. I find that my faith helps to calm me. None of us have anything to fear. We are already champions here. I will pray for your calmness while waiting and I will also pray for a good outcome. Take care.

  • lhduffer
    lhduffer Member Posts: 90 Member
    edited June 2020 #4
    Trubrit said:

    Drat!

    I could think of another D word, to put in the subject line, but must be good. 

    While the Doctor thinks all is well, I bet I know what you are thinking, and these next 7 weeks will not be easy.  

    For some of us, we never truly shake the feeling that the 'other shoe will drop', and then, when it looks like it it, we are of course, devestated. 

    Here's hoping that in seven weeks, your scans will prove that it was just some kind of infection running foul.   You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. 

    Tru

     

    Thank you

    Thank you so much. The thoughts and prayers are very welcome.  Yes, the next 7 weeks will be a long wait.  And as you personally know it is devastating to come so far and then face the possibility of going back.

    I am trying to stay focused on other things and remembering that so many here have faced this before and moved forward once again after dealing with it.

  • lhduffer
    lhduffer Member Posts: 90 Member
    #5
    Tom M. said:

    You're in my prayers

    I know that it is easy for someone else to say don't panic. But I want to say to you, stay focused. 5.8 CEA is really not that high. I'm pretty sure that some maintinance chemo can bring it back down within normal range. Another thing is that scans can show alot of nothing. A leison or a nodule can be anything. It doesn't have to mean something bad. I know the waiting can drive you nuts. I find that my faith helps to calm me. None of us have anything to fear. We are already champions here. I will pray for your calmness while waiting and I will also pray for a good outcome. Take care.

    Thank you

    Thank you very much.  I am definitely trying to stay focused.  My surgeon also felt that 5.8 wasn't too bad so I am trying to focus on that, although sometimes that's easier said than done as you know.  My mantra for the next 7 weeks will be "faith over fear".

  • SandiaBuddy
    SandiaBuddy Member Posts: 1,381 Member
    #6
    Ambiguity and anxiety

    There is nothing I can think of to lessen the anxiety that ambiguos results create.  I have been in the same position and it is no fun.  For me, it turned out to be nothing.  The only solace I have found is to focus on living from moment to moment.  The things that happen today will happen today regardless if I am here tomorrow.  Right now the sun is moving toward sunset on a low angle and the landscape is turning gold.  Things like that give me peace.  Good luck in the anxious times before your next tests and hopefully you will find moments of peace.

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