Reconstruction

I am a 17 year breast cancer survivor.  I had a double mastectomy with reconstruction, chemotherapy and everything that comes along with it.  I can remember my surgeon telling me that (as it applies to reconstructive surgery) this is the one time being thin is not an advantage.  I had the same issue with flatness and rippling.  Remember, we have no breast tissue left, so with the understading that fat and breast tissue are not the same, thinner women don't have much fat to serve as a layer between our skin and the implant, hence the rippling.  As for the flatness, it depends on the shape of the implant, I found the teardrop shape to appear a bit more natural.  I can say that over time I did get some sensationtion back in the area, but not all.  

Everyone's experience is different, I can only speak for mine.  I was only 39, I had young children, so as soon as I recieved my diagnosis, I kicked into survival mode.  The last thing I was thinking about was the asthetic result of my reconstruction, all I cared about was living.  Besides, my surgeon was the head of reconstructive surgery at a well known cancer hospital, so I trusted him.  Thankfully, I did survive and was able to put the cancer behind me.  

However, what I was left with, was a body I didn't recognize.  I was too embarrassed to admit that, because I didn't want to seem superficial and ungrateful for my recovery.  But, I rarely see this issue discussed.  

All I can say is that I was not happy with my initial reconstruction result.  I felt my breasts were round and flat like two donuts, they also were not quite symmetrical.  I expressed my concern to my surgeon and he pat me on my head and said; "Live with it a while, you'll get used to it."  I was devastated at his cold and dismissve response.   I waited a year and began researching other surgeons, this time with a calm, clear head.  I can tell you that I found a wonderful, compassionate, female surgeon in NYC and after my 2nd breast revision surgery, I was no longer just surviving, I felt alive again!  

Give it a year, if you are still unhappy with your result, do your reasearch, find a surgeon skilled in breast reconstruction NOT breast augmentation. Please remember that a cosmetic/plastic surgeon and a reconstructive surgeon are two very different things. Often, well intentioned people will recommend who they believe to be the "top breast plastic surgeon."  But, sadly, people who have never lived this experience rarely understand that breast reconstruction is not a "boob job" it is VASTLY different.  Moving forward, I truly wish you a healthy physical and emotional recovery. It gets better, I promise  

It's confusing when you have two doctors telling you two different things.  At this point I might side with the oncologist, because from this point forward, that is who you will be doing follow up visits with. Is there a reason the oncologist wants to keep the port in?  I don't remember exactly when I removed my port, but I don't remember it being immediate.   I did surgery first and then followed with 6 months of chemo. 

The depression is normal and completely understandble.  Let yourself have those moments, just try not to get stuck in them.  The sadness is to be expected, your body has been through a trauma, not to mention, it's a loss.  Yes, we can cover it up with clothing, but at the end of the day, we're faced in the mirror alone with our reality. It's natural to feel depressed, especially at this phase of recovery. All I can say is that it will pass. It gets better, little by little, every day.

 When we're first diagnosed, all the wheels are set in motion.  We go to doctors, go for scans, have surgery, chemo... cancer keeps us very busy for the first year. We're basically in shock.

And then, everything quiets down, the treatment ends, the surgery is finished and suddenly we're left alone with our scars, both physical and emotional.  

People call us (survivors) brave, the truth is, I only put on a brave face for friends and family, but in my private moments, I cried...HARD! Because, let's be honest, cancer sucks.  No one asks for cancer, all we can do once we're diagnosed is follow our doctor's advice.  I never understood what was so brave about that, I mean, what's the alternative?  

I'm not sure how "brave" any of us are because no one signs up for this.  I will say, you'll be amazed at how STRONG you are! You've been through a lot and had the strength to come through it.  Keep going, it gets better. The scars will heal and eventually fade, the aches and pains will get better and you will regain movement in your shoulders.  Have patience, it takes time, but things will eventually get back to normal. 

StacyLee you are SO right!! We definitely did NOT sign up for this but there is no choice but to forward and face the music! Yes we all faced our down times and wished it never happened. But it did!! People who know say wow you are SO strong but it’s not that I am strong but this disease forced me to do what I need to survive!! 

I was first diagnosed in 2007 but I still have my moments. 

So cry when you feel like it, but don’t let the depression encompass your whole self. 

Look forward to the next month, year and decade in gratitude for every extra day you get to be with family and friends. 

Prayers for strength fir for all of us!