Just Diagnosed with breast cancer could use some insight

I've always been very diligent about my yearly mammos. When digital came out I did those. When 3D came out I did those. 20 yrs ago I had an MRI on my left with nothing conclusive. I had very dense fibrous tissue all my life. I have had depression as a disease most of my adult life and have been on medication and in therapy off & on depending on the depth of the episodes. In my 50s I started taking HRT because of very bad "change" symptoms. Soon after I realized my depression had changed...it wasn't so severe...and then I realized when I did start to "slide" it wasn't as bad. I talked to my therapist and she said they recently had been taking hormone imbalance seriously as a cause for depression and other mental illness. After 3 years my GYN recommended I stop the HRT but I told him what an amazing change taking it had made in my life. I never knew what it was like not to have that looming "next episode" on the horizon. My whole life had changed. I didn't have the nagging fear and anxiety all the time. I never knew what it was like not to have it. I said I wanted to continue taking it and he agreed to keep me on the lowest dose and monitor me. As time went on and I moved around, I told my current MD  I wanted to continue the HRT because of this. I have no family history of any female cancers and only one Hx of colon cancer in a maternal great-grandmother. Flash forward 15 years and (finally) a positive breast cancer Dx (estrogen & progesterone positive). I stopped the HRT immediately and now am going through an accelerated menopause. I've thought about it a lot, wondering if I brought "this" on myself...could be. Would I change knowing what I know now? I am scared for all the realistic reasons. BUT my life the last 13 years has been so different than all the previous ones. I've done things, felt things, gone through bad things and good things...all without even a minor depressive episode. So for that reason, I figure I made my decision with my eyes wide open for the right reasons and would not change my past if I could. Could I have quit sooner? Maybe, but I was also terrified of the depression coming back. So far it has not. I am still on an anti-depressant that has worked for me for a long time. I also haven't had a drink or a drug in 25 years and am in a 12 Step program which helps immensely in not beating myself up over the past and gives me strength in the now and faith in the future.  I've had my bilateral mastectomy and go tomorrow to the oncologist to find out their treatment recommendations based on the pathology and genetive testing of the tumor.  Am I scared? Anxious? Shaking? Nauseous? Heck yeah! Will keep ya'll posted.