URGENT - Panic

Well, I don't know how to respond to this, exactly.  My doctors told me that if my cancer (stage 4b) came back there were "things we could do" depending on where it came back.  I don't believe I've ever even heard of another doctor who said, "If it comes back, you are going to die!"   Then you said that "They could give me meds to prolong me awhile."  

I don't doubt anything you've said, but I find it really hard to understand why someone would say something that stupid and then say "take out your voice box and larynx" in the same month, much less the same office visit.

You know the referred ear-pain is a thing.  It's a real thing.  So whenever I have ear-pain I instantly go into "OMG! It's back!!!"  In my case I have been lucky and it's just been some temporary ear pain, but I am always fearful that it is more.  I have no idea what else might paralyze a vocal cord.

Let's say that you are facing something awful and I will, really, pray that you aren't.  Let's say they do a pretty radical surgery and you end-up with some permanent disabilities due to it.  That does NOT mean your life is going to be 100% miserable or that you are never going to be happy again or any of that stuff.  I recently met a man whose wife had a very radical surgery (years ago when they knew less about what they were doing) and she healed fine and feeds the grandkids (she didn't have children until after the surgery) fresh cookies and is now asked to come speak to survivor groups and medical students which she happily does.

I am well aware that sometimes things don't turn-out to be miraculously good, as I know you are.  But, my suggestion is to realize that "there's nothing we can do" and "meds to prolong" and "take out your larynx" are three completely different statements and so you probably ought to wait until someone tells you what to worry about, specifically, before you worry about everything all at once.

I wish I could hold your hand or give you a hug or something.  Sometimes the anxiety this stuff causes is worse than the side-effects of the treatments. I had an "up all night" friend who would text me words of encouragement when it all got to be too much.  I hope you have someone who can do the same type of thing for you.

I hope and pray that there is a different explanation than a recurrence for your symptoms.  

So sorry to hear about your doctor's appointment and results.  Please consider going for a second opinion somewhere else.  Not sure where you live or where you have your treatments, but a teaching hospital with a tumor board is my recommendation.  Try not to lose hope, stay strong and advocate for yourself.  

I wouldnt take that for certain without a biopsy and a PET scan.  Not sure where you live but like said, you need to go to a cancer center with a tumor board where they will ALL discuss your case and come up with options...there are options.  I believe in having the truth, but that seemed harsh.

Susie, sorry you are in this situation. Im from over at the kidney cancer forum. My mom had throat cancer so I look at this one from time to time. My mom just had a total laryngetomy using a flap from her chest. Though this was not easy on her, I will say now after 2 months she is a different person both eating and breathing.  If this is the surgery you need, I think you should consider a second opinion. I with you the best.