HPV related cancer

yankee59
yankee59 Member Posts: 3
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I am devasted. I am currently 3 years out from Base of Tongue cancer treatment , HPV related. I liv e with the ongoing side effects , teeth problems, Thyroid issues , dry mouth , swallowing difficulty and now eye problems apparently from chemo. I had advanced cancer, it was a helluva battle. So life goes on , return to the day to day stuff. I recently began thinking of my first love, I had a nagging worry about him. Dug around and found him on Google, it was his obituary. He died from cancer. He developed Head and Neck cancer first, had the surgery and thought he was fine. Four weeks later he was dead from Stage 4 lung cancer , it had spread to his lungs. I just am having such a hard time accepting this. If he had died in a car accident, yes I would still be sad. This news though is just so hard to take. he was 59. i am 60. The chances of two partners getting this disease has to be slim to none. I am grieveing not just for my first love but for the horrible battle I am just too familiar with. Just wanted to share with people who would get this. Thanks for listening.

Comments

  • wbcgaruss
    wbcgaruss Member Posts: 2,466 Member
    #2
    You Have my Sympathy and Condolences

    It is difficult to find someone has passed that has a spot in your heart even if you haven't seen them for many years. The chances as you say are slim but it does happen. You may have this hitting you a bit hard because you have fought the H & N battle and you know it personally as well as your partner and what they went through. Sorry you are dealing with so many leftovers but most on here know what you are dealing with as we also experience it every day-Hang in There-God Bless

  • debbiel0
    debbiel0 Member Posts: 134 Member
    #3
    Slim to none, may be the

    Slim to none, may be the thought..but my husband is just starting treatment for the same HPV+16 tonsil cancer that I battled two years ago.  I am 64 he is 67. We have been together for over 40 years.  You cant help to think who had it first, who gave it to who, and did we infected someone else all those years ago.  Then why now!   I had to go to go talk it out with a counselor to sort out all of those feelings. I would highly recommend it.  

  • yankee59
    yankee59 Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2019 #4
    wbcgaruss said:

    You Have my Sympathy and Condolences

    It is difficult to find someone has passed that has a spot in your heart even if you haven't seen them for many years. The chances as you say are slim but it does happen. You may have this hitting you a bit hard because you have fought the H & N battle and you know it personally as well as your partner and what they went through. Sorry you are dealing with so many leftovers but most on here know what you are dealing with as we also experience it every day-Hang in There-God Bless

    Thank you. I think that is

    Thank you. I think that is exactly it I know the battle. It breaks my heart to think he went through so much. I really don't know who had the virus first , I just know we shared so much with each other long ago and now share this.Ugh, 

  • yankee59
    yankee59 Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2019 #5
    debbiel0 said:

    Slim to none, may be the

    Slim to none, may be the thought..but my husband is just starting treatment for the same HPV+16 tonsil cancer that I battled two years ago.  I am 64 he is 67. We have been together for over 40 years.  You cant help to think who had it first, who gave it to who, and did we infected someone else all those years ago.  Then why now!   I had to go to go talk it out with a counselor to sort out all of those feelings. I would highly recommend it.  

    Oh, I am so sorry to hear

    Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. I wonder how my husband has been spared so far, knock on wood.I do wonder how we both ended up with the virus being so young and inexperienced.It just takes one person, he did cheat on me which broke the relationship. That girl passed away from cancer too at age 43, not sure what kind. Best of luck to your husband and you.

  • Socalgio
    Socalgio Member Posts: 1
    edited June 2019 #6
    Just finished

    I'm 49 just finished radiation x 33. Had 3 surgeries a month prior. And now here I am trying to move forward. Wondering if I'll regain taste and saliva. Trying to figure out what and how to eat. It's a mind blowing experience. But I am grateful to live and hopefully see my son grow up. I am mostly positive but have my moments. Just wanted to sort of put myself out here and be part of the group. 

  • ERomanO
    ERomanO Member Posts: 323 Member
    #7
    Socalgio said:

    Just finished

    I'm 49 just finished radiation x 33. Had 3 surgeries a month prior. And now here I am trying to move forward. Wondering if I'll regain taste and saliva. Trying to figure out what and how to eat. It's a mind blowing experience. But I am grateful to live and hopefully see my son grow up. I am mostly positive but have my moments. Just wanted to sort of put myself out here and be part of the group. 

    Hello and welcome!

    If you just finished you have a ways to fo before regaining your taste buds and your saliva probably isn't anywhere close to normal.  I think everyone here will tell you to be patient... give it time.  Also, understand that everyone is different in recovery.  I had no surgery, but had 35 rads and 3 chemo, and it took me about 8 weeks post treatmments to feel close to normal.  I had also lost 30 lbs and although it felt good to be lighter, I felt a little weaker than normal.  I was blessed to not have any issues swallowing except for maybe the first couple weeks when the tumor at the base of my tongue was at it's peak in size.  But I never had much pain and my skin - inside and out - healed up very quickly and thoroughly.  Taste buds reovered to about 80% by 10 weeks out, and with that came the return of my weight (I should've been more dilligent about keeping most of it off).  My saliva has imprived, but it's a very slow process.

    I am a little over one week away from my 1 year anniversary and overall I feel great! I to two high intensity endurance workouts each week, and I just took my bicycle out for my first trail ride of the year and went 20 miles (a far cry than some of the serious cyclist on here, I'm sure).  I play guitar in a couple bands and have been playing 2-3 times easch week.  Prior to cancer I have lived with tinnitus 24/7 and lower back pain.  Now I have compromised saliva and neuropathy taht I manage with meds.  The workouts have made me stronger thatn I've been in decades and music is just who I am.  I just focus on the positive things in my life and the other things kind of slip in to the background.  When I stop and relax it all becomes more noticeable, but my mind is always working at future plans or troubleshooting something.  I believe that's the key to enduring a "new normal"... find positive things to displace the negative effects from treatments.

    Also, and in hindsight, it's probably better to start a new introduction thread.  You'll get far more responses.  Whenever new posts are attached to old(er) threads they can sometimes get lost.

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