Introduction

Hi All 

After being here a little while I thought I’d share my experiences so far  I apologize for the long post that Im about to write but hope it may help someone else as the experiences I have read from others has helped me. 

I had been experiencing various stomach issues for a few months that I thought were related to my new unexpected promotion with increased responsibilities and frequent travel  I thought it must be stress as I had never had stomach issues whatsoever. One night almost exactly a year ago I woke up sick in middle of night and vomited multiple times throughout the night and into the morning while I was of course attempting to get ready for work like nothing happened  I finally vomited what appeared to be a large amount of blood and that scared me half to death. I resumed getting ready for work until I realized how ridiculous that was. I was weak and I started having severe pain in abdomen so for the first time in my life I went to emergency room and called off of work (embarrassing but true)

i was given a cat scan and was immediately told it doesn’t look good, things looked complicated and they referred me to ob/gyn because they thought it was ovarian or uterine related. I had biopsies on cervix and uteris or whatever and they came back clean. My CEA was in normal range I thought I was golden. Figured maybe it was something else. Had ultrasound and was told I had very large mass basically filling my abdomen so they were unable to tell what it was or where it was coming from. I was referred to an ob/gyn oncologist surgeonwhich raised my alarm bells. She told me that despite the positive test results , she was not buying it and expected it would be cancer but not sure what kind till they removed it. I had an exploratory surgery and ended up with total hysterectomy and a resection of the colon.( no bag needed)  The next day it was confirmed I had colon cancer with one mass in my colon (forgot to mention I had colonoscopy that was not completed due to what had been found in cecum)as well as a large mass connected to one of my ovaries. It had apparently broke through colon and formed large mass on ovary. I made mistake of asking how big was it as I am unfamiliar with centimeter or millimeters she said of its the size of a baby’s head. I thought I would faint at the thought of it but thank god it was removed!! Oh and my appendix was found tangled in the mass after the path experts checked it. Funny story.. the dr was like we didn’t find an appendix during surgery I was like well I’m pretty sure I had one lol I never had surgery before so it should be there)  It cracked me up truly 

I started Folfax 5 weeks later and am still getting chemo every two weeks. Early onNeulasta was added which I still receive every two weeks after chemo is disconnected from the take home pump. (For anyone that doesn’t know ,Claritin fights effects of Neulasta which can be very painful to bones. The Claritin prevents it so I take it at least two days before and 5 days after chemo and it has worked for me)  I originally expected it for 6 months but at one point a pet scan showed specks on liver (2) and one lymph node that lit up (20 had been removed and tested at surgery and they were all clear.) I believe this is when they added Avastin to my regimen. After 14 round I was given a break from Oxliplatin after having had an allergic reaction that i thought was gonna kill me dead right that moment (thank god for nurses who got me through it). I was then on the desensitizing program fOr another bunch of treatments that took 10-12 hours instead of 4-5. No worries I marched right through it but then had an episode of dehydration  and started dropping weight quickly. That was scary cuz I started out around 115 lbs and lost ten from the surgery. So anyhow I lost about twenty pounds and was taken off the oxi. What a relief!!! Don’t get me wrong if oxi is what it takes I wanted it but dr said 14 rounds of it was really good and if we have to go back on it we will. 

That was early February. Since then I have regained about 12 pounds and feel so much stronger. I no longer see bones. The mmj I have been on has helped enormously with my appetite so my theory is Eat what I want  when I want it ! It was so hard to eat anything before now I eat everything I would normally eat except for the few days surrounding chemo. I recently had shared that my last cat scan and mri and lungs show clear. The small specks in liver were not seen and the lymph node issue also seemed resolved.  Of course I was doing backflips in my head but seems for now we keep marching with more treatments. I’m ok with it because at this point it is relatively routine with a few bad days and then a lot of really good ones. Of course I may feel differently if I didn’t feel like I was doing as well as can be expected. 

I have been unable to work since the day I called off. I shake my head at the reality that I am considered disabled and I am actually on SSDI.   I’m grateful but can not believe all of this happened. I’m so grateful for my sister who stepped up as caretaker. I split my time between her house and my apartment where my kids are also a huge help. Mostly I go to apartment because I spend great time with my kids.... that is the gift cancer has given me. I have spent a ton of time over this past year having fun just being with my kids and making sure they know how loved they are. When I’m at my sisters we have a blast laughing about anything and everything. I’m always saying oh I’m so lucky over this or that and then I laugh how I’m the luckiest girl in the world! I actually do believe I’ve been very lucky, that’s the flat out truth of it. I try not to let this get me down and appreciate the good days and the good results when I’m lucky enough to have them. I am internalizing the idea that I could be in chemo forever and the people on this forum have helped me appreciate everything even more. If I have to have neuropathy and running nose, barely there hair and all of the other assorted side effects I’m trying to keep them in perspective  I believe if I had not gone to the ER that day I would have been gone by now.  

Thank you for this group. You are all the best !!!

Please excuse any typos  

SK

55, female and stage 4 and oh my name is Bridget