Treatment done anxiety lingers

Cinnamongirl
Cinnamongirl Member Posts: 199

Hey all, I hope you all are well and enjoying life. I finished my SBRT on the 8th but since then I cannot seem to shake this anxiety/scared feeling.

I scan on May 13th and I find myself so nervous. I am not on any systemic treatment but cant help but wonder what they will find next.... I was stage T2B at diagnosis and even though it was a grade 3 I found myself like many hoping for a lil breathing room before mets appeared. 

Now that I have finished radiation I am having a real hard time relaxing... my nodules were small 9mm each and there were only 2. ...i knknoknknow i should not worry about things out of my control but I find myself at a loss to accomplish this.

Any advice would be welcomed 

Thanks Cin

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Comments

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,000 Member
    Oh dear Cin, no real advise,

    Oh dear Cin, no real advise, because I don’t know myself how to deal with these situations. But perhaps you could see your family doc and ask for some pills to severe anxiety? Calm mind helps body too, immune system works better when stress is relieved. Skme theraphy with psychologist maybe? 

    Anyway, here are people who have dealt with couple of mets years ago and are living normal life now! Donna, for example...

    we are always here for you to vent!

  • Retcenturion
    Retcenturion Member Posts: 240
    edited April 2019 #3

    Good to hear from you Cinn, hope your recovering quickly. Hopefully you planned something to treat yourself before the May scan. Again sending you some positive and calming thoughts for you and your loved ones.

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    It's easy to say we shouldn't

    It's easy to say we shouldn't be anxious/worried over things we can't control but  lot harder to accomplish. You've been through a lot; it's understandable that you're anxious. I hope the treatmento took care of the nodules and you can finally relax. I agree that a mild anti-anxiety med like Xanax may help. Thinking of you and wishing you the best xo

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,024 Member
    If I was a drinking person, I'd say....

    Put on comfortable clothes, turn on a funny movie and have a brew.  But I'm not, so all I can do is encourage you to do as Allochka suggests.  The right anti-depressant can make a world of wonders in your life, and more especially, ease you over some anxiety inducing times.  I've been there and it's not fun feeling like everyone and everything is against you; all all you're trying to do is survive.

    Best wishes and know we're cheering for you.

    Lotsa Hugs,

    donna_lee

  • Cinnamongirl
    Cinnamongirl Member Posts: 199
    Well well

    Donna, I'm usually ok...its just I need some breathing room. I cant help but think what's next. ? I mean now I can only assume it's always going to be something when I scan..

    Just sad I guess.

  • eug91
    eug91 Member Posts: 381 Member
    I can't shake it either

    I wish I had some great advice. All I can say is that you're not alone and we understand and know how you're feeling. While I tell myself that any new ache and pain is PROBABLY nothing, it's hard not to just think the worst. The constant worry sucks.

    All we can do is treat ourselves to some fun and joy every now and then, then just take it day-by-day. I guess it's a little like healing after our nephs. Take it a little at a time, accept that we're gonna have some setbacks, but everybody recovers at their own rate and we just do the best we can. 

    Sending you a virtual hug. 

  • Cinnamongirl
    Cinnamongirl Member Posts: 199
    Thanks

    Thanks everyone for your positivity! I'm just hoping I dont light up like a Christmas tree when I scan...lol

  • jazzgirl
    jazzgirl Member Posts: 222 Member
    edited April 2019 #9
    Hey Cin -

    First, thank you for posting the video of your treatment on facebook.  So vulnerable and generous and helped me see what you are going through. Oh, anxiety - our little sidekick.  I don't know where you are on the "spiritual spectrum", but I find prayer helps, as does plain old breathing in a counsciuos way. Sometimes I realize I am not breathing at all, or very shallowly, and have to literally tell myself, "breathe."  I know you are busy, busy, but even 10 seconds of a few intentional deep breaths in and out helps. Do a search on "breathing for anxiety" and you will find lots of helpful youtubes. Having said all that, I also agree with others - talking frankly with a professional, with family and friends may help deal with the anxiety. Take care -

  • jazzgirl
    jazzgirl Member Posts: 222 Member
    Sorry

    Can't find how to delete the duplicate...

  • Dominick0711
    Dominick0711 Member Posts: 97 Member
    I’ve been dealing with

    I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression for many years before my diagnosis and needless to say post diagnosis it has been a real challenge to control.  I’m constantly in fear of the worst about the cancer and nearly everything else in my life especially since the diagnosis.  What I’m about to suggest is not I. Any way meant to say that I have been successful in beating this but I do think counseling and or support groups are a huge help.  many people shy away from it or associate a stigma with it but the period where I was in counseling was the period where I was managing it best.  The other things I agree with that were mentioned are deep breathing exercises, time with friends and family and also methods of escape and alone time. Dependent on the person what you do during that time will vary for me it’s cooking.  Gets the crazy thoughts out of my head. It’s something I enjoy that I do alone.

    also try to accept that it’s a normal feeling and don’t actively fight it away that makes it worse.  Feeling depressed or anxious considering all you have been through is normal.  Accepting the feelings instead of trying to fight them away will disarm them.

    Easier said then done.  I wish I could do a better job of consistently doing all of this but I have found these things to work best!

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    We all can appreciate anxiety

    We all can appreciate anxiety over the next test results and such. But if you "think" about this, we cannot control anything

    but our attitude, and how to cope each day, even if an hour at a time. I know, easier said than done.

    I used this prayer or statment to keep me grounded:

    (God) Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change

    the COURAGE to change the things I can

    and the WISDOM to know the difference.

    You came to us, Cinnamon, which is a good start!

    We'll always be here for you, along side you, all the way!

    Healing Hugs,

    Jan

     

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,024 Member
    More thoughts...

    When the cancer shows up again soon after an original Dx and treatment (surgery, drugs, rad.) it generally was there all along, but not large enough to detect.  After #2 is found, one seems to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop-as in another recurrence.  That does cause anxiety.  "Luckily" (hah), mine did so at 1 year and 2 years following the original find. The longer I've gone since 2006 '07, '08 the more relaxed i've become.  Until some other item pops up, i.e. thyroid enlargement (just benign nodules), stomach polyps (removed in endoscopy, and stuff like that.

    Hope you can get some relief soon.

    Hugs,

    donna_lee

  • Cinnamongirl
    Cinnamongirl Member Posts: 199
    donna_lee said:

    More thoughts...

    When the cancer shows up again soon after an original Dx and treatment (surgery, drugs, rad.) it generally was there all along, but not large enough to detect.  After #2 is found, one seems to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop-as in another recurrence.  That does cause anxiety.  "Luckily" (hah), mine did so at 1 year and 2 years following the original find. The longer I've gone since 2006 '07, '08 the more relaxed i've become.  Until some other item pops up, i.e. thyroid enlargement (just benign nodules), stomach polyps (removed in endoscopy, and stuff like that.

    Hope you can get some relief soon.

    Hugs,

    donna_lee

    Hope

    Donna, I think for me its because after I was DX in Dec of 17 they found a small spot in my remaining kidney which was benign then spots in my breast which were nothing..

    Then 3 lung nodules which one resolved itself so when they did a biopsy on the left one and it was positive.... it crushed me. 

    Then SBRT which was tolerable. But now I'm scared again. I get it's out of my control but I cant seem to dial it back. 

    Thank you Donna for always being a reassuring voice for me!

  • Cinnamongirl
    Cinnamongirl Member Posts: 199
    The news is in

    Just a quick update. I scanned yesterday and results show that other than the inflammation in the areas we treated I am clear everywhere else! Meet with onc on the 20th to go over everything. Had to read the scan report a couple of times to believe it. 
    I hope you all are well and I thank you all for always being here for me along this journey!
    Cin

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    That's great news! You must

    That's great news! You must be so relieved. Very happy for you, Cin.

  • stub1969
    stub1969 Member Posts: 954 Member
    edited May 2019 #17
    Best outcome!

    This is wonderful news on this outcome to your procedure, Cinnamon.  I know you'll continue to be faithful with your scan schedule.  

    Wishing you only the best!

    Stub

  • Gtngbtr58 @aol.com
    Gtngbtr58 @aol.com Member Posts: 206 Member
    So so happy for you!!

    You had a hard start-but what is important is where you are today.  Keep on top of things (I'm sure you will).  Wishing you continued "good news" going fotward-June

  • Mighty Frog
    Mighty Frog Member Posts: 152 Member
    Great News!

    Time for relax and plan for a good holiday! 

  • eug91
    eug91 Member Posts: 381 Member
    AWESOME

    Super happy for you, Cin!!

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    YAAAY!! See trust your faith

    YAAAY!! See trust your faith (I don't mean religion per se). Trust that these docs know their stuff and have better treatments.

    But now EXHALE!!! 

    Sending you continued healing hugs!

    Jan