Away from forum since Oncologist crushed my hopes and spirit

Butt said:

Karen, I thought about you

Karen, I thought about you today. I am glad you have a new doc on file in case you may need some pain meds and etc. Nurses in a cancer center may be strange. I accudenky discovered that they keep notes on what the patient said. My next note was she is very quite and gives brief answers. It is like I am under some direct  observation. So, I don t know talk with them. They go thru motions. They have hard time and please don t take it as the offense to deal with people who have issues so to speak. It makes their life harder. They prefer the smooth journey with a sweet gramma. I think. We are with you, dear! 

You're my rock...one of many on here! I do feel good about this new doc. As a nurse that worked many years in hospitals and offices, I had to do volumes of charting about the patients. Every little detail of what they said and did, attitude and such. When I went to that NP I was just stating facts, not crying or raising my voice or anything like that. I wish I had recordings of their facial expressions and attitudes! If I did that to a patient as a nurse, I would have been reprimanded. Knowing that they know how they are supposed to act and the fact that I know that I think makes it a hardship on me. I do plan to write a letter to all involved when and if hopefully I can totally switch to this other doc and cancer center. Ironically I worked at the very cancer center that I will be going to. That is going to be some weird flashbacks for sure. I liked it there.

So yes, I know how nurses operate. I truly do not give a f**K if they don't like me!! I'm fighting for my life here and they are being a**holes. Moving on...wish me luck with the new doc and MUSC. I know MUSC should have something to offer. It may be chemo and I may not like it but I guess it's what I have to do.

Take care Butt and thanks for caring and thinking about me.

Karen

NewHere said:

Sorry

Totally unacceptable that you have to deal with this.  I have been fortunate with my doctors, nurses and others at MSK.  Except for one person.  And one call.  I left my oncologist at that point.  I was so angry and was about to cry with how much of a raging as--hole she was on a call.  Dismissive and making s--t up.  Everyone has bad days, but if you are dealing with patients with this type of situation, not just a chest cold or flu, you need to check the bad days at the door.  Or if you are that burnt out, find another profession.  

As to your therapist, that sounds real strange to say.  Maybe a phrasing issue on their part.  And the whole hospice thing sounds kind of weird also.  There can be an emotional element at some point, but the way you are describing things, does not sound like you at point of hospice.

 Of course it is totally undestandable to get down from it, but try not let these people get you down too much when they act or say things that are inppropriate. 

And remember there are a bunch of us here who are always here for you to help discuss things, celebrate the good things and work through the less than good things.

I will be smiling when you go to Hawaii and come back with the great photos

Sorry you had to deal with such an **** yourself. So many docs don't seem to know how to deal with patients and their emotional upheavals. After years of doctoring you would think they might learn, Idk.

I'm glad you are liking MSK. I have thought of that place but Medical University is a huge facility with a big cancer center. I am going to check there first. I did some clinicals with nursing school there so it will feel more familiar. Charleston is a beautiful place and I can try to find a nice beach house to rent...on the beach! Pricey but maybe it will turn out to be a nice vacation too.

I'm a little bit intimidated about going to Hawaii, it's a 10 hour flight and I haven't flown in 30 plus years! I would love to go I think but don't think I would feel like doing much so not sure what it would be worth to me. Any thoughts on that?

Karen