Help please

The lung nodule isnt even measurable. So small. What is your take on biopsy?I noticed that i lot of you dont belive in them and i know there are risk but...... I really want to avoid another operation if i can but i really dont want to die either.

kind regards

Idontknow anymore

To Donna, Allochka and all you other kind people. Ive read what you said and i know your'e right I keep mumbling in my head i want to live than the next second it changes to i cant anymore this is too much. As I said early due to my parents and my older brother i lived a very stressful life. A big part of me think that its all the long stress from what they put me through that gave me a lot of this cancers because i was in  a really bad condition mentally for a very very long time and it seems that even if i fight there is gonna be a new cancer. I was so glad when i got the other diagnoses because they was good but that is just how life often is to me bad, like make her feel safe and then give her the next blow. third time(maybe) around. She had two good ones lets knock her down now. I am very very thankful for all the good prognoses but a person can only take so much.  My goal after first and second was to live until i got 90 years old but now.....i still want to do that but how can i believe? I guess it was ever more important to me because my parents got me in so much truble that they kinda had me prisoner in my own life until like i was 35 years old(they used my financally and played with my mind because of my longing to get them to love me sometimes )then they left me with all their **** even though i begged them to think of my health. Then the ghosted me. I wish now that i would have been like an iceman 15 years ago when all of this started but i wasn't.

but thats another story. You should know i am trying but how can i believe that it will go well when i always get knocked down again? thank you for all your understanding and kindness it really means a lot.

and i feel so much like an ...... with this. people do one two a few does three or more. Why must i always be extreme?story of my life

donna_lee said:

Change your name to "I know I want to live."

Because we all sense that you know what you want to do.  Empower yourself as none of us can actually do that for you.  Doesn't Sweden have Socialized Medicine?

1. Make that first call and get an appointment to discuss your depression.

2. Be honest with the MD- If need be, print out this conversation and take it with you.  

3. Take the anti depressant; or let him know after 4-6 weeks that the particular one he prescribe is not working.  There are many types of anti depressant drugs.  

4. Ask if there is any discussion group you may join.  Express yourself.

Read some of the other's stories.  Click on their user name(s) with their posts.  See the journeys they've taken/obstacles they've fought, etc.

Do take care of yourself.

Hugs,

donna_lee

I was on antidepressant for like 12 years ago maybe for a year but was so depressed that they did just work half of the day even if i had the highest dose end i didnt like how they make me feel. And ive been quite ok this last ten years until all this cancer (it works because i created my bubble at home) But i told the hospital already that this is too much so some kinda counselling is coming my way, And ive read some of your stories and they are so inspiring when i read them for a few seconds i believe i can and then i fall down in the hole again. I think the big problem is that i am very afraid of the operation(had so much bad luck so covinced im going to die on the table)  and how i feel after even more after my last operation this summer since  it kinda broke me they even called psychdoctor because i talked a lot abour jumping out of the window in my room that always was open.  Im not a very strong person and it doesnt help when you never gets the chance to gather your strenght. My hasband compares me with the disneyanimal bambi(dont know english name and if that is the same).

thanks for caring

Hi again,

I tried to stay away from google this last week in hope to feel a little better. It worked a bit. Sad to say though that life keep giving me hard times since my dear cat (i had two) Got sick very fast this saturday and died this monday in hospital in cancer (of course)And since i put all my love in my cats i blame myself because im so weak that i cant always stand up so me and my husband have a rule i say to him when i see something strange and he reacts and that isnt always the reaction i thought he should have done and then i hate myself even more because im som complex and dont stand my ground more  and i dont want to be. and of course the day after i was supposed to o a biopsy. Like you f.......g kidding with me i just lost my dear cat. im not lying to you when i say that she was the one that took me through cancer nr two this summer, she was the one that saved me from falling in to depression, she made sure i came out of bed in the morning sha was a very talkative cat (She made sounds even when she just walked) and she knew what se wanted and she was very very different from any other cat i ever met and you never felt alone with her and now the house is so quiet and i now i cant cry because thats is not good for my cancers and i dont know how to cry, its horribble in the house now even though i have one car left because hes a former wildcat end more private but over to the kidney update.

was supposed to make a biopsy went in believe it or not totally freaked and not even sure if that was the right thing to o becuase of afraid of my bad luck and that the needle biosy altthough its rare would spread cancer in me.  they was supposed to do it with ultrasound, the tried for a very long tim and kept putting that ultrasound thingy aorund me i have to hold my breath sometimed but eventually they gave up. Turns out my insides  (dont now the engligh word )where in the way so they idnt want to take the risk.

talked to a very good doctor afterwards and i think the kinda talking about two things now either some kinda ablation and biopsy when the do it or operation. i told him i wanted to do what was best and that i read that ablation was a little bit more unsafe than operation in form of recurrence but he told me that it depended on where the tumor (if it is one) sat and apparently mine is in the perfect spot for like 100%. on the plus side he told that i shouldnt worry at all for the possible tumor to be  a metasise because they looked different.  he also told ´me that if possible he thought i should wait another 3 months because of my other cancer operation because if this is turning out to be a operation that would be an easier one. He also said that when i tke ct in two weeks for lundnoduli they should take on my kidney also to see if it has grown and that ha wasnt afraid for me at all and that bloodtest show that my kidneys worked perfect now.