Figuring out normal

First and foremost, I want to say that you're not alone in any of your feelings.  To give you some quick background, I've tackled stage 3 cancer a couple of times in the last seven years and I deal with it every day.  

As for a magic number, there isn't one.  Everything takes time and is different for every person.  I can't speak for everyone but depression, guilt, loneliness are incredibly common feelings/thoughts.  Undertanding that it takes patience is a great step and i commend you for knowing that.  I am an incredibly impatient person and after my first surgery, had some serious depression and guilt issues, wondering if I'd ever be able to do the things I loved again.  Then I realized the power of doing. 

My advice to you is to focus on yourself - wake up every day and do something you love, do some positive things for yourself.  Eat something healthy, do whatever exercise you can tolerate, look in a mirror and find something you like about yourself - it doesn't matter what it is as long as it's a positive step for you.  Cancer diagnosis and treatment can be a devastating thing but it can also be so so empowering.  It changed my life, I live positive moments now and focus on all the amazing people and experiences this world has to offer.  Happy to chat more about this if you want, feel free to message me.  I'm a firm believer in doing positive things and the power that it can give you, try it out!  I wish you all the best and remember, you're stronger than you know.