What next?????

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  • MK1965
    MK1965 Member Posts: 233 Member
    #22
    JayAur said:

    MK - Please try - Please

    MK, do you remember the 5 Stages of Grief?

    Denial - Anger - Bargaining - Depression - Acceptance 

    You MUST work your way to reach ACCEPTANCE.  We, who are here, have all wrestled with the grief monster.  You have to realize that you must somehow, someway, someday reach the goal, ACCEPTANCE!

    We people here will stay with you until you reach the goal.

    Keep at it!

    Accept or not to accept

    Jay,

    nicely said.

    Problem is that I can not accept the state in which I am now at 21 month post RP as my new normal.

    I can not say good bay to my sex life at the age of 53. Sex For me is sex only with hard on and penetration. Solution must be in something, somewhere etc.

    i will keep looking until I find it. Maybe, I will find it soon, maybe in near future or maybe never.

    What else I have to loose? I-lost my functionality, QoL, lost support of my wife, marriage is in very grey area and that is just a few to mention.

    And all of these happen because of RP.

    i wish I never saw any urologist in my life. I wish I never new about diagnosis so I would live happy regardless of whatever was going on in my body.

    MK

  • Grinder
    Grinder Member Posts: 487 Member
    #23
    ???

    MK

    I guess I'm missing something here.

    She "pushed" you into "nerve sparing" surgery?

    However, it is clear nerves were not spared. Since this was a routine prostatectomy, there should have been excellent nerve sparing, but there was not. Why not?

    Are you saying she conspired with the urologist to damage or sever the nerve bundles?

    We don't know who you are, MK, and you dont know who we are, so we all can be assured of anonymity if you want to admit your suspicions.

    Regardless, there are two alternatives to play out here...

    1) She loves you and was concernced about your health, so she pushed you into (what she thought was) nerve sparing surgery so you could get your prostate out before it became a life threatening situation. If that is true you need to forgive her the mistake and beg her forgiveness because a !oving relationship is hard to find in this world. You can't build bridges with many of the self centered egotistical people of our presently hedonistic culture.

    2) She had ulterior motives pushing you into surgery. If that is true, you are better off finding this out now, and you are lucky worse did not happen... I know a guy who was slowly being poisoned by his wife while she was having an affair with another man. It looks like her intent was to off him, get insurance money, marry the other guy... and no one would be the wiser. They divorced, and she married the other guy... what a **** the other guy must have been. He remarried and it took a while for the poison to dissipate from his body. He couldn't prove it, but the doctor he saw while he was sick first alerted him to it.

    BUT if it is in reality #1 but you just think it is #2, you better get your  head straight and seek spiritual counseling or therapy, or you may destroy the best thing you have going for you. And you better get right with God if that is the case because you are making way too big a deal about ED.

    I say this knowing that, in the instance of my friend, crazier things have happened. So #2 is a possibility, but you better make 100% sure before you lose what tyo have left.

    But then again I may be all wrong about this too.

     

  • JayAur
    JayAur Member Posts: 33 Member
    #24
    eMail, Chat Room, etc

    MK. Check your CSN eMail.  Sometimes people send information by that means.  I note that several members have been trying to find a way to offer you assistance.

    Support of spouse might be one of the prime areas for concentration.  Several ‘caregivers’ frequent these boards and the chat room.  Any chance of talking to her about joining?

    Here is a link that might give you a start in finding more info. https://www.healthline.com/health/tips-sexually-frustrated-couples

  • JayAur
    JayAur Member Posts: 33 Member
    #25
    It’s been a month MK1965

    I hope that you and wife have not given up on solving the frustration of dealing with your after effects.

    Keep in touch with the people here if you are still stressed out.

  • JayAur
    JayAur Member Posts: 33 Member
    #26
    Delete

    Sorry, duplicate post

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