definition of invincible

I had a monster tumor, 12 cm., and if you click on my picture you can read my whole story. I'm doing fine 4 months post surgery. Not healed yet and not always feeling super great, but still doing alright.

It was a shock to me to find out I had such a monstrous thing inside of me, with no side effects whatever, until the blood in the urine started.

My lymph nodes were swollen but that is going down now. Just inflammation. However, one was cancerous and removed. I had a fantastic team of surgeons. I am lucky to be alive.

It happens to the best of us, and you learn to adapt and go on as best you can.

We're here for questions and support for your Dad and family.

Welcome to the board no one wants to join

I was a non-smoker, non-drinker, athletic, 36 year old when a flank pain led to diagnosis, it was four years ago and I do remember how frustrated, hopeless, shocked I was for a long time after surgery.

A 6-7 cm tumor can be stage one or two, both with good prognosis. If it turns out to be stage three then it needs more vigilant follow up but still has 56% of no recurrence in the future.

The surgery should be done by a surgeon who has kidney cancer experience, the the pathology comes and it's time to see an oncologist with kidney cancer experience. As you can see in my bio I had pelvic, abdomen , and bone scan and brain MRI few months after diagnosis  as baseline which eased my mind. I think It's good for your father too if that's what his oncologist thinks.

If you need to cry then don't hesitate, let's be honest, it's a shocking news we are not prepared for, but after  crying it's time to do something to make the situation a little better each day. See a therapist if you need to, this was what helped me a lot.  Be at your father side and let him pass this tough time, give him all your support, love, and let him know this isn't a terminal disease. We have many members with large tumor with no recurrence, most of them not posting regularly but they are living their lives out there. In my story my biggest issue was that I couldn't open up, very few people were told the news and I couldn't even talk about my emotions, fears and concerns with my hubby, I was unconsciously playing a tough girl role for a while, then I collapsed. This was the time a therapist helped me. So let your father speaks his fears if that's what he needs.

Stay positive

Better days are yet to come

Forough

Retcenturion said:

Who doesn't cry at diagnosis?

Crying is part of the journey. As a father having to tell my children I  had cancer was the hardest thing I have ever done. Not sure of your age but your  writing makes you seem mature beyond your age. As others has posted above it's not a death sentence. No mortal can tell someone when they will die. You've come to a great place for research. As you read prior posts you will find answers of what's to come for the surgery. It was not pleasant at all but not as bad as had imagined. He will need help right after surgery and if no complications within a short time he should be back to a " New Normal". Ask any questions you may have here and you should have an answer soon. Try and relax. I am sure your father would not want you to be freaking out over something you have no control over. Sending good Karma and positive thoughts to you and your loved ones.

Thank you for getting me to well up and relive the personal hell I was in leading up to my surgery.  It was nearly 4 years ago today--July 10, 2014. The day we were set to leave for NYC, I told my wife I could not go.  I had not had any surgery (or even a broken bone) since I was an infant. 

Fear of the unknown is scary.  It is easy for me to sit here today and tell a newbie, or a newbie's child, not to be scared and don't worry.  But all I can say is that there are many here who were in the same situation as jedi, and we are still here!!  Coincidentally, I was 47 years old at the time of my diagnosis.  I don't drink at all.  I don't do any drugs.  I am in fairly good shape. Why me?  Why now?  What did I do wrong to "catch" kidney cancer?  These were the irrational thoughts of a guy who never had any health problems 4 years ago. 

I still remember hugging my kids before I left for the hospital.  My youngest son was 11 years old at the time. I tried to be strong as he was sobbing in my arms as I gave him a hug.  I broke down.  I told him to be strong for his Dad.

I was lucky.  My tumor was just under 3 cm, but it was in a bad location.  Surgery early Thursday morning, went home on Saturday.  I was walking 6 miles per day by Monday as part of my recovery.  Today, it is all a distant memory.

To jedi- whatever you do, take everything you read on the internet with a grain of salt.  You may not want to read too much.  Each situation is unique. Trust your father's doctor and the team.    Your father and the family will get through this.  He is lucky to have a son like you.

strong memories of when I was diagnosed.  I was so worried about how my three kids would deal with it.  Fortunately, they held stong and really helped me and their mother.  From what I see and read, you definately make your dad proud.  

I know you recognize the seriousness of the situation.  Things will be moving along pretty quickly now.  Once he gets his surgery out of the way and his pathology comes back, a plan will be put in place.  Be open with your emotions, but try to stay strong. 

Keep us updated and we'll try to help.

Stub 

to those who hear those words.  Shhhh-Kidney Cancer.  I remember what my family and friends went through.  My son had googled it and knew more than I did by the time I got home from appointments and work that day.  And 12 years ago, the stats weren't that great. Mine had metastasized to the liver and I was presenting with problems related to the liver and gall bladder.  Very uncommon.

Your dad is scheduled for surgery for the kidney cancer; and more than likely, the node or surrounding set will be removed and biopsied, also. The surgeon will likely look at other places within the abdomen, so expect Dad to be sore. Once that is accomplished, you can let him heal, help out when needed and be there to cheer him on.  He'll recieve his path report and then he can make decisions based on the Stage, type, etc.

We'll be here to encourage and cheer you along.  If everyone has posted a profile (as they should) click on the person's username to find out more about the individual cancer journeys.

Best wishes and Hugs to you all.

donna_lee

It's hard to do, but do your best on staying calm and focusing on the positive.  Your dad found out relatively early on and there's a good chance surgery may be all he needs.  The worry and emotions will drive you crazy.  I had my diagnosis just before this past Christmas. I remember breaking down crying in the grocery store thinking it would be my last Christmas.  I remember sitting on my front porch and crying when Queen sang "..I don't want to die..."  What I remember most is telling my son the news the day after Christmas because I didn't want to ruin the big day for him.  Try to stay off of Google research and ask questions here where real people have really been through the trauma.  We are all glad to share our experiences and this board is pretty much all that kept me sane in that crazy, scary unknown part of the journey.

Best wishes for you and your family!

Jim

Hello Jedi,

my husband was a non-smoker, non-drinker and aged 36 when diagnosed 3.5 years ago. At that time I was 4 months pregnant ith our first child (first succesfull pregnancy after years of infertility and 2 miscarriages). It was a scary time. Did I cry? Yes. But I didn't cry out of fear or self-pity. I cried angry tears in pure rage. I couldn't imagine a guy so kind-hearted, decent, and stoic like my husband dying a torterous cancer death so young. I remember telling my mom, who was totally stressed out - "calm down, he will gonna be ok, I'll cure him!". 

He is fine now, and our 3 year old daughter adores Star Wars.

Be a warrior for your father, be a jedi! Support him and your family. We, caregivers, also fight a huge fight. And with kidney cancer of that size we have all chances to win once and for all. If you need to cry - cry, it is fine. Just don't give up and be there for dad and family! 

Hugs,

Alla

thejediknight said:

After a year......

Wow, hello everyone. It’s been a while since I’ve visited this thread and I’m so glad I did. For all of you that shared your stories, your support, thank you. It means so much to read through all the encouragement relating to my dad.

After a year+1month, my dad has finished chemo (8 rounds, 6 weeks each with 2 week breaks in between) on Sutent. He has recovered from his total nephrectomy and has a 20-inch scar on his belly in the shape of a hockey stick. He says he might get it tattooed to look like a lightsaber. His labs have all come back with steady improvement and his left kidney has been functioning beautifully from what his doctors can tell. None of his cancer has spread from what it looks like. He’s still worried about it going to his lungs, and it didn’t help that he recently developed a cough (that his doctor assured him was only allergies). He turned 48 this past January and has been working to lose weight on a low-carb diet, and has gone from ~325lbs to 290 in the span of a few months. 

Again, thank you all for your assurances. It was hard being away at college (I’m only 20) while his chemo and recovery had been ongoing, but forums like this have given me so much hope in an otherwise bleak situation. 

That’s really good news on all fronts.  The worry about recurrence or spread is natural.  I had my little lesion taken out in June, 2016, and I can tell you that every year, starting in April or so, I get a little (and sometimes big) cough that convinces me it’s come back and spread to my lungs, and each year, all scans are negative.

Your dad sounds like a fighter and a survivor and I predict he’ll be telling iceman quality puns to you for years to come.