Cancer Killing Marrage???

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  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #22
    Cindyjoy said:

    going..going......
    My husband and I were drinking buddies before my bc. We were clinging sweeties scared to death at the onset of it all.We cleaned up our acts pronto Somewhere around the time after 3 chemos and I was to have surgery he began getting lots of pills from his physician and a psychiatrist and getting high all to deal with his fear. I had begun to get God into my life and grow inner strenth. He scared me and my main support system but any suggestions on my part that he should stop taking all those pills caused him to rage. I had to leave. That was over three months ago and I am one week from finishing treatment. I love my husband but 3 months of living alone during cancer treatment after 13 years together have put a rift between us that I don't think anything short of a miracle can bridge. He claims I pushed him out of my life and didn't appreciate all he did for me. I don't know but I do know that I don't think if he was doing chemo he would want me high as a kite! I hate being alone and miss my sweetie. But it's just not the same anymore. I would love to talk to other women in the same boat.

    Cindyjoy
    I wish I had your strength! I really do, My husband was a horror to me all the way through chemo, walked out on me half way through it and had been a nightmare ever since. I had nowhere to go, I came here from england to be with him 6 years ago and due to his paranoia have not made friends and have no family here.. believe me if I had somewhere to go I would have done EXACTLY what you have ... get away from that situation. You are so strong lady , I admire you............Julia
  • cberry0823
    cberry0823 Member Posts: 1
    edited June 2018 #23
    I think my cancer is killng relationship with my husband

    I have just completed my chemo treatments and with crossed fingers no more chemo to come. Radiation is next.... I realize even through all of my fears and concerns and being scared, that my husband has to have felt these feelings to... cant help but know that he doesnt know exactly what I am going through. I was the wife of a cancer patient once before myself. my ex-husband was diagnosed in 2006 with colon cancer and I watched what it did to him and I saw what it was doing to me, to us. 3 very long years and he went into remission finally but it destroyed our marriage. I am not going to pretend that there were not issues prior to his diagnosis that didnt help the struggle. Now as I find myself on the other side of this, I am worried My current husband and I never had any real issues prior to my diagnosis but have found that since then we have been growing apart. Arguments over small things. He doesnt really understand what I need even though I have tried to explain it to him. I simply need him to understand that I need to be held. I need to be heard. When I want to vent my feelings I just need him to listen. I already feel like a burden on him and the kids. The chemo takes so much out of me for at least a week or more at a time. I still try to clean and cook. I keep care of my children during the day while he works. Maybe he is resenting me because I got sick. I know its possible because I felt the same resentment with my ex. Even though its not intentional. He seems mad all the time, perhaps because he cant take away my pain but I dont need him to take away my pain. I need him to hold me while I am in pain. I need him to understand or at least try to understand how I am feeling emotionally. I want him to show he cares.

    haha maybe I am a burden and he doesnt know how to make me understand that.

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