Just received cancer stage

  Once it was discovered there was a tumor which in my case was located right at the intersection of the sigmoid colon and rectum. I was told since it touched the rectum it's considered rectal cancer.. 

  I ended up getting radiation and Xeloda for 28 sessions.  5 days on and two days off.  The radiation didn't impact me immediately but later on long after it ended I ended up with retrograde ejaculation.  The tell tale sign it's coming is it will hurt to pee.  I was told to drink something with cranberry juice to correct it.  I waited too long to bring it up.  For radiation you'll get three tattoos one on either side of your butt and one in the middle.  Those are to line up the linear accelerator.  A fancy name for a micro wave because that's what it sounds like when you're in the room getting zapped.  You'll have to get on a small table and drop you pants and shorts.  Forget modesty, it takes just a few minutes once they've got the routine down. 

  You'll get radiated in all three spots, left, right, and center.  Mine was about 20 seconds per side. I think the worst of it was just going into the cancer center and being confronted with the reality of having cancer.  Sitting in the waiting room you'll see other people in the same boat.  That was tough to bear because some of them looked half dead already.  In all honesty I began to wonder if the treatments were doing anything at all since I had so much more life in me than most everyone else in there.  I was an anomoly to some degree.  One, many people don't finish their treatments which is why the survivor rate isn't 100%.  On the last day the head nurse told me lots of people quit without finishing. That goes for taking the chemo pills too. I read where 80% of prescriptioins are not taken per doctors orders. So, take your pills and don't defer the treatments.

  You'll go through bouts of depression, anger, and what ever else.  My garage door has a hole in it from me taking a hatchet to it and a spare dryer with dents in it from me punching it.  Yeah, I got pissed a couple times. If you're lucky you'll have a wife who's supportive and won't let you down. That's a big plus knowing you've got someone in your corner.  The mental anguish is in my opinion the worst of it.  I didn't feel any real pain from the initial treatment.  Matter of fact, several of the nurses commented that I didn't look like I had anything at all.  I basically used denial to get me through a lot of it.  At first I'd read up on cancer and quite honestly that made matters worse.  So that stopped after while and is probably a good idea since there is no way to ever catch up to the level of knowledge your doctors have.  Don't try it and don't argue with them either.  Even coming to this site and reading of how some didn't make it would send me into a tizzy so I'd have periods of absense.  I think we all do or did. 

 Next step was the surgery itself.  That got scheduled about 6 weeks after I completed the initial treatment.  It went off without a hitch.  Within an hour or so of being glued back together I was awake and removing the leg braces and oxygen tubes.  The incision is about 6~7 inches long and is glued together.  Staples are what they used on the colon itself.  No, it won't set off the metal detectors at the airport.  I asked.  The nurses didn't think I was ready but I demonstrated I could walk and so forth so they allowed me free reign to wander the halls.  By the third day I was out.  Initially I was given a "no restrictions" on diet.  That should be qualified as within reason and doesn't include Big Macs.  I had my wife bring me one and within 5 minutes of eating it I had the misfortune of tasting it again coming back up.  Not to say they are bad for you but don't eat one that soon. The one thing I was dredding was getting a colostomy bag.  I was told that since the tumor was as high as it was that it was unlikely.   That was the first thing I checked for when I woke up.  Lucklily there wasn't anything.

 I was told I had clear margins and no lymph node involvment.  That means it appears the cancer didn't spread past the tumor itself.  I had to go see the oncologist and at first assumed he'd say I didn't need any follow up chemo.  Wrong answer.  He said there was a good chance the initial chemo and radiation killed off what was there so he wanted to put me on four months+ of Xeloda again.  Two weeks on and one off.  I merely said, I know enough to know I don't know so I won't argue.  That finished up on April 29.  It wasn't easy though.  I ended up with some neuropothy in my fingers and toes.  It's subsiding now along with the fatigure which got to me after a while. I was stuck in the house for most of the four months.  Reason being I lost bladder control and at first refused to wear depends.  I do now even though I'm getting control back now.  The affects of chemo sneak up on you. At one point I'd get up and my feet would hurt to walk.  It doesn't now but when that was happening I was thinking it was the end of the world.

 Last week I had a colonoscopy which was different this time. No post procedure pain.  The first time it was air they used to inflate the colon and it hurt within an hour after the procedure was done.  This time I didn't feel a thing.   They did find a couple polyps which have me very worried and I'm seeing if I can get the PET scan moved up to be certain there is nothing else going on.  That's what's so screwed up about this disease.  You can think you're in the clear only to find out you may not be.