Best of times, worst of times

hardo718 Member Posts: 853 Member

Life has been a bit of a wild, crazy time lately and this forum, as important as it is to me, had to go on the back burner for a while.  It'll take me a while to catch up, for sure.

I'll start with the worst of times, we lost 3 friends in 3 weeks.  Talk about grieving, my goodness, my husband and I can't remember crying so much.  The first was quite unexpected and was my best friend's aunt.  She slipped on the ice, ended up with a brain bleed they couldn't stop.  Our families have been very close for nearly 50 years, so it was like losing my very own aunt since she never married or had children of her own but made a point of telling all of us what a joy we were to her.  The second, a day later, was my husband's best friend of 47 years.  He had stage 4 thymus cancer.  His last 2 weeks he spent in the hospital and we spent a lot of time there.  At the time of his passing there were 12 of us at his bedside, all with our hands on him while he made the peaceful transition.  So thankful for this man and the affect he had on so many lives.  Grass never grew under his feet, not for one minute.  What an example he was.  The third, was this friend's mom, she passed a week & a half after her son, she had alzheimers.  Although that wasn't an unexpected passing, it stung never-the-less.  Too much grief.  And as many of you that know me here, I recently lost my own mom to that terrible affliction.  Just a reminder of how fragile life is and that we need to celebrate each moment we're blessed with. 

The best of times?  We had some events planned that happened to coincide with the above mentioned and we were able to attend those things.  We went to a concert with friends to see Herman's Hermits, the Buckingham's and the Grass Roots.  Fantastic!!  And the next event, one of our daughters gave us tickets to see "2 cellos".  I highly recommend it if you get a chance.  Two guys in their 30's maybe that play everything from classical music to rockin out.  What a show it was and they're funny too.  The third, my husband bought expensive tickets to see Dancin' With The Stars live tour.  We got to meet & greet, picture taking and drink with them.  It was awesome!!!  Only one problem with that last show, apparently cause we spent so much time at the hospital with our dying friend I got a nasty case of the flu.  Normally I would not have gone anywhere but felt like I had to go.  Totally worth it.  When my husband came down with it, after me, he had to attend the celebration of life for his friend and speak too.  Not like you can postpone that. 

We're all on the upswing now.  Tomorrow I'm going to see my primary though because I when had the flu, I coughed and coughed and coughed so hard, I swear I gave myself a hernia where my lowest incision was.  Is that even possible???  I have no idea, it's been 5-1/2 years since my surgery.  I guess I'll soon find out.

Hoping everyone is doing well here.....back to my catching up.





  • Wehavenotimeatall
    Wehavenotimeatall Member Posts: 488 Member
    Oh Donna

    so sorry you have had a bad time

    your friends and Mom all sound like they were amazing amazing people

    a big lesson for me. Thank you as I spent the last three years grieving my husband and then got hit with cancer myself

    if I go now I will have wasted those years

    hope you are feeling better and more good news on its way

    love and peace


  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,034 Member
    edited March 2018 #3
    Donna, such a terrible time..

    Donna, such a terrible time... Don't know what to say...

    Wish you and your husband will find peace after your losses!

    And get better soon. I'm having a flu right now, and husband looks like he is getting sick too. Not a pleasant condition indeed.


  • hardo718
    hardo718 Member Posts: 853 Member
    edited March 2018 #4

    Saw my new primary 2 days ago, not a fan.  She was very abrupt, right from the get go.  Had no answers for me at all and wanted to push all kinds of prescription drugs at me.  I don't care for that kind of medical practice.  I have occasional anxiety since I was in my 20's and since I was in my 30's I've taken xanax as needed.  My last prescription for that was filled almost a year ago, 30 pills.  Obviously I don't take it a lot, she wanted to prescribe zoloft to be taken daily.  I refused.  Then she wanted to prescribe linzess for constipation that I've been dealing with since diagnosed with hypothyroidism.  As far as my question about potential hernia, she simply said, "I don't know, go see your surgeon for follow-up.  If that doesn't do it, here's a GI referral too."  I guess my appt. was a bother to her. She ordered some blood tests and I was out the door.  Today I got an email from her saying my cholesterol is high and she wants to prescribe something for that.  Time to find a new doc first.  I have an appt with my surgeon on St. Patrick's day and my usual testing is a few days before that for my kidney follow-up.  Hoping Uncle NED is in my life again.


  • kiwi68
    kiwi68 Member Posts: 110

    Donna, sorry for your losses.  What an emotional time.    I have read so many of your posts and appreciate how well you have replied to so many people with compassion and understanding.  Your primary care doctor sounds like a pain in the arse. (Excuse me).   Definately time for a new Doctor.   

    I have a great GP who will proceed mostly in any way I woud like - she knows I am fairly well educated - but also is very open to discussing all treatment options and giving me a chance to have a go at the lifestyle ones first.   So important not to jump onto meds that may be hard to get off and not do you much good.  I too get very occassional anxiety, for a long time I didn't know what it was.  I usually can just acknowledge it, start breathing exercises and manage but ocassionally a one off dose of meds is necessary. I can't imagine being given a daily prescription for Zoloft.   I also just got a call to say cholesterol is borderline, which I am going to attention with diet and exercise to see if it changes.    I also get constipation only when I am dieting (need to lose 10 lb) and because of injury in childbirth and a rectocele that can be a problem, and yes I could go and have surgery, but there are some not very nice things that go wrong with that kind of surgery so why wouldn't I do my absolute utmost to keep working on managing it with the right diet and fluids?   I have not very much respect for a general practitioner that isn't capable of looking to see if you have a hernia or if you have just strained a tummy muscle.   : -  (   Rant over.