Recurrence

smalldoggroomer
smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
in Breast Cancer #1
Hello everyone, I haven' been here in a long time. I thought I was getting on with my life as well as I could. I was Diagnosed April 2010 with inflammatory breast cancer. Had chemo-surgery (right side mastectomy) then rads for 36 weeks every day. I was burned very bad. They said I was cancer free. NOT!! My cancer came back in 2012 in my lungs and spine. This was very painful. Now my lungs are full of scar tissue. I'm on oxygen. and have to walk with a walker. 
I also had a very hard childhood and for some reason, it is all coming back to me now I don't know why but it is. I have always been an upbeat person. But now I feel blue and down. I just want to feel good with no pain. I had to have both knees replaced last year. I just don't have anything left inside. Is anyone else dealing with this feeling? What do you do to feel better emotionally?  I use to come on this site all the time almost every day. But so many friends died I had to go off for a while. But this site saved me just being able to talk. I hate cancer...Thanks for reading my vent. It feels good to be here. Kay,

Comments

  • Apaugh
    Apaugh Member Posts: 850 Member
    #2
    Your not alone here Kay.

    Just seems like you get a step forward adn knocked back two.  yah, I feel that was too most times.  But then I get mad adn I say oh no!  I am a warrior, I am a woman, I will not go down without this fight fight fight.  I cry alot, I gripe, then I try to every day find a silver lining.  No matter how small, I try to find one.  Treat yourself, be kind to your self.  It is all about you and that is ok. 

    I have a strong faith in God and I just talk to him straight up and tell him, Hey!  I need help! 

    We are here and we care so much.  Peace and Hugs,

    Annie

  • Barb A
    Barb A Member Posts: 123
    #3
    Good to hear from you again Kay

    Hi Kay, I'm sorry you're going through so much. Hopefully coming back to this board will help. I visit the board almost daily, but don't often respond. If you're able to get out of the house once in awhile, try to do that. ACS also has a help line where you can talk to someone. That may help you as well. Sometimes its good to have an actual discussion. Do you have a support group in the area? I know it's not easy for you to get about, but perhaps meeting some people from a group would help. Some of them could possibly call you or stop by if you can't get to meetings.

    Know that you aren't alone and that you're in my thoughts and prayers.

    Barb A

  • 1surfermom
    1surfermom Member Posts: 396 Member
    #4
    Hi Kay

    Vent away. I hate cancer too. You have been through an awful lot so it is natural for you to feel depleted. Like you I have always been an upbeat glass is full kind of person, but this second cancer has changed me.  I recently met with my oncologist and discussed my feelings of despair. She reccomended I start on an antidepressent medication. Has that option been offered to you? I'm still mulling over the decsion to take it. I hope that you know we are always here. Love Surf

  • lintx
    lintx Member Posts: 697
    #5
    Hi Kay

    I’ve always felt that this site has a purpose.  We’re here to listen and vent!  I just had my annual onco and all was good. It‘s always on my mind that I am not exempt from future recurrence. I know what you mean about losing so many of the people we’ve all known on here. When I do check in, I’m amazed at the number of new names and faces. We all agree on one thing...we hate cancer!

     

  • Apaugh
    Apaugh Member Posts: 850 Member
    edited March 2018 #6
    1surfermom said:

    Hi Kay

    Vent away. I hate cancer too. You have been through an awful lot so it is natural for you to feel depleted. Like you I have always been an upbeat glass is full kind of person, but this second cancer has changed me.  I recently met with my oncologist and discussed my feelings of despair. She reccomended I start on an antidepressent medication. Has that option been offered to you? I'm still mulling over the decsion to take it. I hope that you know we are always here. Love Surf

    anti depressants help

    My doc put me on a low dose of effexor and it helps.  Many of us have to have something to get through this part. 

    Hugs,

    Annie

  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    edited March 2018 #7
    1surfermom said:

    Hi Kay

    Vent away. I hate cancer too. You have been through an awful lot so it is natural for you to feel depleted. Like you I have always been an upbeat glass is full kind of person, but this second cancer has changed me.  I recently met with my oncologist and discussed my feelings of despair. She reccomended I start on an antidepressent medication. Has that option been offered to you? I'm still mulling over the decsion to take it. I hope that you know we are always here. Love Surf

    No, I haven't mentioned it to

    No, I haven't mentioned it to my Dr as of yet. For that reason. I always snap out of it. But I hate it when it happens. How long have you been feeling down? Have you been on antidepressants in the past? Do they help?

    I hope your feeling better Have a great weekend!! Kay

  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    edited March 2018 #8
    Hi Kay

    I'm still here and have lost so many friends both on here and personally to the beast since 2010.  I feel extremely blessed that neither of my cancers (breast and uterine) metastatized, yet it has for so many.  I have stayed away from time to time as well.  I think it is very important for you to tell your oncologist and for you to life your life as fully as possible and antidepressants can help without making your feel "out of it".  And I also believe that this group has been so helpful to many (incuding me) and hope you will keep checking in with us.

    Hugs,

    Suzanne

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