Emotional

Please don't compare or belittle your experience. It is yours and it is extremely difficult. There is no easier or better cancer. It is life-changing. I was having emotional days on a regular. Probably 1 out of every 7 days I found myself very quiet and crying. It is totally normal. Be kind and gentle with yourself. It def may help to speak with someone. Take it one day, one hour or even one minute at a time my friend.

ImNotDeadYet said:

Definitely normal

You've been through a lot, and it's normal to have emotional responses to that trauma - sometimes when they're not expected. Be kind to youself. Allow yourself to go through these moments and acknowledge that the feelings are real, and legitimate, and that there's nothing wrong with you for feeling emotional about this. Hang in there. It's only been a few months. It takes a while for mind and body to get to your new "normal," whatever that will end up being. In the meantime, let yourself feel emotions without guilt. 

I think having an emotional response to all this is healthy and normal.

Its only been about 18 months since i was diagnosed and subsequnetly had my surgery. It was 11CM and stage 3B. I a big strong ex Army Cav scout type and i cried telling people about it. I think it takes a different type of stregth to not be ashamed of your emotions or hide them.

I also recently tried to explain to a friends who has another friend recently diagnosed with Cancer the emotional impact of having that word applied to you for the first time. Its like a deer in headlights and turns your blood to ice. No one who hasnt been there can understand the difference of the impact of that word when its random and when its you!

Finally when you hear it later or have a surgery its kind of a PTSD impact on us. Different people handle it differently. Maybe its PTSD recalling a brush with death type feeling and maybe its emotions of joy when you keep living and have a successfull scan or surgery. It doesnt matter. Its all healthy. strong emotions are passion. They are where your zest for life comes from. Its the same source that lets you love and laugh. So dont stress about the tears.

You are one strong lady

You have been through a terrible ordeal and it will all take its toil

The physical pain is one thing

The worry of the unknOwen is something completely different

and to be brutnally honest I don’t think you have even hit the lowest point yet.. sorry I don’t want to upset you more

At this stage you are Just  mending your body back again... your mind will take a bit longer

You have been strong for so long .. you now need to relax and look after you for a while

 cry and cry ..untill you can’t cry any more... you need to express your hurt 

Btw.. Yes it’s hard when you see other people being so strong but you are you  and  if your body is telling you to do this then the least you can do is follow its instructions...everyone else will be more than ok with that

I wish you peace and love and hope things start to get better very soon

Annie

 I agree with PTSD.  You had to stay strong to do what you needed to do to get through those surgeries.  You made it through and there is some relief and release of emotions now.  I tell you what, I no longer can stand the smell of Lilies ( someone brought me a lovely arrangement)  because I associate the smell with recovery in the hospital room.  I have a hard time with things that remind me of right before surgery or during rough part of recovery.   The more time that passes the less sensitive I am To the triggers.  Hang in there!

I've posted here before a favorite saying that my father had.  My dad went through 15 or 20 different surgeries in his life time (he lived to the age of 90).  That includes half a dozen abdominal operations, a quintuple bypass (and his was one of the first ever done), followed six months later by an aortal replacement surgery.  So he had some pretty significant procedures performed on him.  He also had some that the doctors told him were "minor" operations.  His reply to the doctor was "The only minor surgery is on someone else."

So, yeah, maybe your surgery wasn't as complex as some others have had.  Maybe the pathlogy report didn't show an advanced stage of the disease.  But you, along with everyone else on this board, was diagnosed with cancer, and that's one heck of a huge deal.

There was a thread on here a few months back about whether those of us with low stage RCC have the right to call ourselves cancer survivors.  I recall that many of the people that you talk about with very advanced stage RCC chimed in and said of course the rest of us have the right to call ourselves survivors.  We all have stared this terrible disease in the eye and, thankfully, many of us are beating it.  It's hard to realize something like that without getting emotional!

info in your bio so we can keep up?

As adults we face many life changing events. Family member death, driving license, sex, children, mortage, car accidents, injuries and more. We also learn to move on after adjusting to the changes. Like it or not. But being dx'd with cancer is like knowing you are being hunted. Normal people don't want to die, and we feel there is nothing we can do about it.

Everyone knows they will die someday, but being shot at is a warning call that some will never be ready for. John Lennon said, "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans." And right now you need new plans. If you believe in yourself, gather your information and you and your caregivers will do everything possible to ensure a good outcome.

At this early stage allow yourself a breakdown to lighten the load. But you have to then pull it together and go to work. To feel your best, give it your best. Be proud of your effort and enjoy life. This is something we all work at. Every day. Learn positive thinking and make it a way of self improvent. It can be better.