Set the date for my liver resection

abita
abita Member Posts: 1,152 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1

I knew this was happening, knew it was after 4 infusions, know it has to be done, my oncologist was happy with my scans because the lesions shrunk and the uptake was reduced, BUT, somehow the reality of seeing the sketch of what is being removed and setting the date somehow made me start crying and I cried all the way home. thank goodness that in Manhattan, you can cry on the subway and no one pays attention. They were also saying that I am in so much better shape healthwise now than when I was admitted to the emergency room with the ginormous infection that was caused by the tumor perforating the colon. So, they are optimistic. And yet, I cried all the way home, and only stopped when I saw how upset my cats were that I was crying. I am even anxious to get them out so that I can be where all the known cancer is out of my body. (I know there might be hidden cells, but I can only hope that the remaining 8 infusions kill them if they exist) So why the tears!?!

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Comments

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    edited January 2018 #2
    Crying

    Can't tell you how many times I've cried during my journey.  I'm so sorry that you are going through this and I'm wishing you very well.  Just know that you are being thought of and prayed for every day.  If there were cyber hugs I'd give you one right now just to let you know that I'm caring what happens.

    Hugs!  Kim

  • Preg
    Preg Member Posts: 7 Member
    #3
    I'm away on holida'y will

    So sorry to hear 

  • Canadian Sandy
    Canadian Sandy Member Posts: 784 Member
    #4
    I to cried one day in the

    I to cried one day in the hospital after my surgery. Everything was fine and I have no idea why. I think it finally hit me what had happened. lol  Emotions get tossed all over when cancer comes our way it’s no wonder we break down at times. Keep optimistic and know we are thinking of you.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    #5
    Such a long journey

    Tears really do help; they release emotion. I am glad you are able to cry, and I am glad that you were able to cry on the train, because stifilng tears just causes the body stress and your body doesn't need stress.

    Any and all surgery is frightening, and I've no doubt your fears will live with you until they wheel you out of the OR; and then of course, you'll be right back to square one, worrying at every test in the future. Like I say, it is such a long journey, but its best we're on the road and not......

    As soon as you let us know what your surgery date it, I'll put you on my calendar, and you'll have my prayers as you will have the thoughts and prayers of everyone here. 

    Chin up and boogie on.

    Tru

  • BRHMichigan
    BRHMichigan Member Posts: 368
    #6
    Best wishes on your upcoming surgery

    Please let us know the date so we can be thinking about and praying for you! I am actually envious as I have 3 tumors on my liver and another in the peritoneum, but I am not currently a candidate for liver surgery. I 100% agree that surgery is major, but you will have that peace of mind having those tumors removed. 

    I am picturing your cats' reactions to your sadness. How precious. Please hang in there. We are all cheering for you. 

  • abita
    abita Member Posts: 1,152 Member
    #7
    My surgery is Tues. 

    My surgery is Tues. 

  • abita
    abita Member Posts: 1,152 Member
    #8
    BRHMichigan said:

    Best wishes on your upcoming surgery

    Please let us know the date so we can be thinking about and praying for you! I am actually envious as I have 3 tumors on my liver and another in the peritoneum, but I am not currently a candidate for liver surgery. I 100% agree that surgery is major, but you will have that peace of mind having those tumors removed. 

    I am picturing your cats' reactions to your sadness. How precious. Please hang in there. We are all cheering for you. 

    I have 3 lesions too, so my

    I have 3 lesions too, so my entire left lobe is coming out, and part of my right. I had 4 rounds of chemo which shrunk my largest to 6 cm. My primary tumor in colon was removed as soon as found because it was an emrgency. It was so big that it perforated my bowel. In fact, the reason I found out was because I had excruciating pain from the infection, and had to be admitted to emergency room. Are you getting chemo to shrink the lesions enough to remove? And the cat in the picture visibly has a look of, not again, every time I bring home the take home 5FU device. She won't leave my side while I have it on.

  • plsletitrain
    plsletitrain Member Posts: 252 Member
    #9
    Will be praying for you

    You'll get through just fine.  Its perfectly normal to feel anxious, this is not an easy road we're taking.  One day at a time.  Good luck.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    #10
    Tuesday it is

    No hanging around then. I'll be thinking of as you prepare for this big event, then on Tuesday and all the days of recovery to follow. 

    You will do well. 

    Tru

  • abita
    abita Member Posts: 1,152 Member
    edited January 2018 #11
    Thanks everyone! 
     

    Thanks everyone! 

     

  • Ruthmomto4
    Ruthmomto4 Member Posts: 708 Member
    edited January 2018 #12
    BRHMichigan said:

    Best wishes on your upcoming surgery

    Please let us know the date so we can be thinking about and praying for you! I am actually envious as I have 3 tumors on my liver and another in the peritoneum, but I am not currently a candidate for liver surgery. I 100% agree that surgery is major, but you will have that peace of mind having those tumors removed. 

    I am picturing your cats' reactions to your sadness. How precious. Please hang in there. We are all cheering for you. 

    Beth...

    Why are you not a candidate? My husband has two on his but in different spots. I hope eventually they are able to cut it out for you. 

  • Ruthmomto4
    Ruthmomto4 Member Posts: 708 Member
    #13
    abita said:

    My surgery is Tues. 

    My surgery is Tues. 

    I am a little envious as well

    they told my husband the same thing 4 scans then surgery. After the scan it shrunk so much they decided they should keep going until it either stops or he hits 12 treatments. I think he is very frustrated. Anyway, enough here this is about you I wish you love and light and the best surgery and recovery. I hope you can update as soon as you are better, I will be thinking  of you!

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,289 Member
    #14
    It's all. scary stuff, but I

    It's all. scary stuff, but I was relieved to set the dates of surgery, to as you said, get that stuff out of my liver. After setting the date, I just wanted time to pass and put me on the healing side of it all, post surgery. hope it passes quickly for you as well...............................................Dave

  • abita
    abita Member Posts: 1,152 Member
    #15
    Ruthmomto4 said:

    I am a little envious as well

    they told my husband the same thing 4 scans then surgery. After the scan it shrunk so much they decided they should keep going until it either stops or he hits 12 treatments. I think he is very frustrated. Anyway, enough here this is about you I wish you love and light and the best surgery and recovery. I hope you can update as soon as you are better, I will be thinking  of you!

    I am envious of your husband.

    I am envious of your husband. I would definitely prefer if chemo we See to shrink mine enough to not need surgery.

  • abita
    abita Member Posts: 1,152 Member
    #16
    beaumontdave said:

    It's all. scary stuff, but I

    It's all. scary stuff, but I was relieved to set the dates of surgery, to as you said, get that stuff out of my liver. After setting the date, I just wanted time to pass and put me on the healing side of it all, post surgery. hope it passes quickly for you as well...............................................Dave

    Yeah, 6 days is a lot of time

    Yeah, 6 days is a lot of time to contemplate. They actually asked if I wanted an extra week. I guess some people need the time to wrap their head around it. But for me, an extra week would just mean more anxiety. And I would just worry that the tumors are growing while waiting.

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    edited January 2018 #17
    Awwww

    I'm so sorry that you are feeling so low.  It has to be a relief though that the surgery will get rid of it, like you said, and make you feel like you are cancer free.  You will probably get treatment after to get those pesky cells left over and that hopefully will take care of it.  Your tears are for fear of the unknown and a relief to finally know that there is a plan in site and that you now can possibly move forward.  It's a bittersweet move but a good one.  Embrace it and think positive that this is a good thing.  Wishing you the best.

    Kim

  • abita
    abita Member Posts: 1,152 Member
    #18
    Annabelle41415 said:

    Awwww

    I'm so sorry that you are feeling so low.  It has to be a relief though that the surgery will get rid of it, like you said, and make you feel like you are cancer free.  You will probably get treatment after to get those pesky cells left over and that hopefully will take care of it.  Your tears are for fear of the unknown and a relief to finally know that there is a plan in site and that you now can possibly move forward.  It's a bittersweet move but a good one.  Embrace it and think positive that this is a good thing.  Wishing you the best.

    Kim

    Thanks. Yeah that is probably

    Thanks. Yeah that is probably it. I will have 8 more infusions after the surgery. I know many here seem to have the option of finishing them, but my doctors are firm that I finish all my chemo, and I agree. I guess I should realize how lucky I am that they can be removed.

  • Bunny822
    Bunny822 Member Posts: 23
    #19
    Wishing You a Speedy Recovery

    Hi Abita...will be thinking of you Tuesday and sending out positive thoughts and vibes to you...I know it must be a relief to take some positive action to have surgery soon...I understand how this can make you anxious but know that your Drs and nurses are going to take great care of you...I am a nurse too and have found it difficult especially in the beginning to be on the receiving end of things. I cried too but looking back they were tears of joy at all the kindness and caring shown to me...I know your tears are tears of relief as mine were to be getting active treatment to remove this anomaly from our bodies. You said you will be getting 8 infusions after surgery. I am proud to say I just completed my 8th round of chemo and got to ring the bell on Wed 01/17. Now I get a month off before I start radiation. Will also have repeat MRI of pelvis done within 2 wks. So, I graduated and am moving to next phase of treatment as you are Abita. You can do this!!! One step at a time...one day at a time...we will get there in time...on the road to recovery...take care and God bless you! Bunny :)

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    #20
    Your tears are so normal. We

    Your tears are so normal. We've all been there. For me I think the rest of the time I can play a mental game with myself and out the cancer to the back of my mind but when I have a test or see my doctor or whatever I have to do it's just a huge reminder that this is real and not just a nightmare. I hope the surgery goes well! We'll be thinking about you! Hugs!

    Jan

  • Ruthmomto4
    Ruthmomto4 Member Posts: 708 Member
    #21
    abita said:

    I am envious of your husband.

    I am envious of your husband. I would definitely prefer if chemo we See to shrink mine enough to not need surgery.

    No you need the surgery

    so does he. The only chance to get rid of it is to cut it out or burn it (ablation) 

    they are trying to get is as small as possible to cut out as little as possible. The best chance for a cure or many years of being free of treatments and cancer is surgery.  So go get that surgery girl and soon it's all going to be behind you! You will be home snuggling with this sweet kitties of yours in no Time! 

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