Scheduled for radioembolization consult with radiologist

It's got to be hard to feel that in the gut and I'm not sure what to tell you.  You have to do what you feel is right in the direction you want to go with treatment.  I'm sure that you have thought about this constantly.  I've not had this treatment so I'm not able to give you any advice, but I'm hoping someone can.

Kim

KarenMG said:

Thanks Kim and Tru. I'm

Thanks Kim and Tru. I'm really sorry to be such a downer but I've had this feeling in my gut a long time, basically since the whole thing started. I am fighting and I wish that I didn't feel that it's my fault that things keep going downhill just because I've had this gut feeling about it all. I guess I've had a hard time feeling positive at all but I want to. It shouldn't be why someone gets better or not, it hardly seems fair.

Thanks for the input. I am going for a repeat CT in the morning.

Take care all!

Karen

Oh by the way Tru...how did you go pick out a burial site and etc? I just cannot even think about going but I sure need to. You are a trooper!

I live in a rural Nevada town, so not sure if this applies to other bigger towns or states. 

My husband and I went to City Hall and talked to the lady in charge of burial plots. We then met with a man down at the cemetary and walked around. My husband's father (and one day his mother) and young neice are planted there, so we just found ourselves a nice spot near them. 

$250 per plot for us. 

The prices for the funeral are horrendous, of course; and they tell me I can't be burried in a bag, which is rubbish. I will be looking into that online. 

Best be prepared and not leave it to our loved ones when we're out of here and their emotions are tender. 

And you are a trooper as well, Karen. At the momoent you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Keep on tropping my friend. 

Tru

I need to preface my comments by saying that I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice.  Instead, I have served as the executor for both my father-in-law and my mother-in-law and through that duty I participated in numerous financial/legal consults and I then managed their affairs for nearly a decade.  What I learned from that experience is the necessity of preparedness for end of life issues.

It is difficult to achieve, but you must purge your emotions during the process of coordinating all of these tasks.  As Tru mentioned above, emotions will become dominant during and after the death process.  If all legal and financial responsibilities have been addressed previously then the grieving process can occur unabated.  Plus, the legal and financial decisions will have been made with a clear mind that is not overwhelmed with grief.  The outcome is generally better when end of life issues are coordinated prior to death.

Listed below are some of my recommendations:

1) Do not attempt to accomplish this duty alone.  Solicit and incorporate help from professionals and a trusted friend.  End of life issues can be a minefield of legalities.  Unless you are an estate attorney, we don't have the requisite knowledge to know what to do.  Get professional advice and even help if necessary.  That will enable you to accomplish those tasks with confidence.  However, your emotions will pop up out of control at times and that is when you will need the solace of a friend.

2) If you do not have a Will then get one immediately.  If you have one then review it to determine if it is current and matches your current desires.  Getting a Will is not difficult, painful or expensive.  Not having one will result in a very difficult, painful and expensive estate settlement.

3) Organize your important documents such that anyone can sort through them with ease.  Create an inventory of those documents (much like a table of contents) and place it with those documents.  Secure those documents in a safe location (fire proof safe or bank safety deposit box) but make sure the executor knows where they are and that he/she has unobstructed access to them.

4) Death is not cheap.  Investigate all of the details now and get over the sticker shock.  If you can afford to do so I recommend that you identify and acquire a burial plot now.  Likewise, I recommend that you meet with a funeral home and discuss arrangements.  Some will even allow final arrangements and payment before hand.  No doubt, this is a very emotional task but it is even more so for your survivors.  As a favor to them, make all of these coordinations beforehand.

5) Take the same approach to your stuff.  It is also very emotional for survivors to sort through and distribute your personal items.  Identify those items that have value (monetary or personal) and retain them but take a hard look at all the clutter that you may have accumulated but no longer use or need.  Get it to those in need.  Someone must accomplish this task and you are the best candidate.  Sorting through every drawer and every box in someone's house after they died is a tedious, emotional, overwhelming job, but it is necessary.  Accounting for and disposing of all remaining personal property is a serious responsibility for the estate executor.  Google the word: fiduciary responsibility.  That is the legal liability borne by your estate executor.  You can make that person's task easier by cleaning house now.

I had several heart-to-heart conversations with my parents-in-law during the final years of their lives.  We cried, but we accomplished the task, and I was able to settle their estates in a timely manner without any legal mistakes or beneficiary arguments.  Not an easy task.  Oddly, the one conversation that was most difficult for me was discussing with my mother-in-law the need for her to surrender her drivers license.  I teared up but it did not bother her at all.

Anyway, as I said above, it is easier to make these decisions, affect coordianation and then to purchase/contract for services beforehand.  It is emotionally painful but necessary and will ease the burden on your survivors.

Jim