Getting past RCC

I just had surgery on 11/6/17
I just had surgery on 11/6/17. I was told on 10/17/17 that the Drs were 95% sure I had cancer. I was like you it felt like my whole world/life was sucked right out of me. It is normal. The biggest thing that has helped me is laughter. I am very blessed to have an amazing family and a great group of friends. It took about 3 weeks for my worries about having been diagnosed with cancer to finally ease up. No one wants to hear the words cancer. Just this past week I’ve finally healed up enough to start playing my drums again. Music is another avenue of getting away from all negative feelings. Hang in there. This board has also been helpful as many people have shared their experience and it helps knowing what to expect and to realize you’re not alone in this battle.

OK, here's the deal,

And I don't have to read your history. It's because all of us have to deal with this life changing experience. For those of us who are going to die from our cancer or it's complications, our time becomes limited and valuable. We can not afford to waste it. It takes a committment but living with cancer exposes ones character. To have and develope a technique that becomes automatic and reflexive will help make you the person you want to be.

It's ok to go through a million emotions for a while. Go ahead and get it out of your system. But prepare to change. Behavior modification works and it takes a few weeks of practice. But learning to share and project a positve outlook is contagious. Good karma.

Make it a practice to eliminate negative thoughts. When you catch yourself doing so, change focus to a previous or anticipated good experience. Remember the feelling and hold on. Probably have to do this a thousand times a day. You can always spin anything into a positive. You will have an increasing percentage of each day improving your outlook.

Eliminate negatives in your speech. "How are you?" "Not bad you say?" Unless you are confiding with you doctor, your answer will always be, "Great!" "Awesome!" or equivalent. Think about asking 100 people how the are. The majority will say, "alright" or "not bad."  Bummer man. If things were worse maybe you'd be happier. When you answer their inquiry and say "Excellent" most people practically jump back in surprise. How unusual to be enthusiastic. See some of those same people several times aweek or month and I guarantee a positive vibe will develope as this becomes contagious good karma.

Good luck getting out of your funk. The rest is just healing.

 

Fox, you are like a

Fox, you are like a lighthouse. Battle tested yet strong and unwavering.

 

I don't have my surgery until

I don't have my surgery until next week, but I have lived with depression and anxiety for most of my adult life. Whether it's long term or short term, it absolutely sucks. And it's ok to say that! Everyone is different, and finding a way to deal with it that fits you is key.

My counselor was a big part of my processing all my emotions after being diagnosed, and she has helped me develop a plan on how to manage it when it gets bad. That can include medications, getting in to see my counselor (we only get together on a need basis), exercise, diet, reaching out to friends, cuddling with my dog, etc. And it starts with simple steps, not all at once - Just one step at a time. I try to talk to a friend once a week since going out to meet them is not always doable.

If you can, find a counselor that specializes in cancer/illnesses - they can help you walk through your emotions, and really just be a safe place to talk. I can remember sobbing with my counselor, i was so scared! But I knew I could do that with her because of the trust we had with each other.

As others have said who actually have had the surgery, it does get better. But until then be proactive and deal with it now - its ok to admit you are struggling! And boy, is it hard - I totally understand that. If you need anything just ask - and I hope it gets much better VERY SOON!

 

Definitely a process

Part of the healing process.  Physically healing and mentally healing.  The happiness and joy will definitely return.  I look at it now like it was an awful journey I was on.  No guarantee that cancer won't rear it's ugly head again, but I live my life differently now.  I now have a better sense of what's truly important and what I can avoid because it's not worthy of my precious time.  I also came to terms with the fact that just maybe this journey was something necessary for me to get it straight.  I try to look at it as a lesson.  All that being said, I'm still in the process of it all and it's been 5+ years.  I'm haunted by the experience at times, just not as frequently, so I try to look at it as a reminder of my blessings.  Better for me to focus on those.

I'll keep you in my prayers,

Donna~