Dad's Cancer Diagnosis Is Taking Forever...

Chicago23
Chicago23 Member Posts: 6
in Emotional Support #1

Hello all.   Brand new here.   Feeling so frustrated and confused on the length of time it is taking to diagnose my dad's cancer.

He initially went into the hospital Oct. 26 (today is Dec. 1) with a scan from his dr. that showed left kidney blockage (he was having severe pain even to be able to walk) and also a mass.  Well, they put in a stent to alleviate blockage, which helped with that issue but ever since then the tests have been never ending.  Upper endoscopy, ureteroscopy, -  I think 4 procedures in all.  "Well, there's nothing there so we'll try this".   Then, "Well that test didn't show anything so we'll try this".  I don't understand why all the hunt and peck when the initial scan shows a mass below the stomach and above the pancreas.

They finally did some sort of ultrasound to biopsy the mass near the stomach and it came back as positive for cancer cells.  I don't know why it took them so long to biopsy it.

Now the tests and mystery continues about whay type of cancer- stage- has it spread??

To top it off he only JUST got an oncologist this week who ordered a scan for Wednesday-  which he had to miss because he was in the hospital for a procedure the day before (ordered by his urologist) to "rule out" anything inside his kidney or inside the ureter.  He could not urinate and had to be admitted overnight and was not discharged from the hospital in time for his oncologist's scan. So, it has been rescheduled for next Wednesday.

The procedure that caused him to miss his oncology scan showed nothing inside kidney and nothing inside ureter but it did reveal an unidentified "blob" at the Kidney/Ureter junction which they biopsied. Results are not back yet.

Man I need a medical degree.   I feel like this is taking a ridiculous amount of time.  This is my first experience with cancer and I do not know what is normal or what to expect.  It has been 15 days since we have gotten the "cancer cell" diagnosis but still not a firm "what type of cancer" and certainly not any type of clear plan that's for sure.   Meantime we do not know if it is growing or spreading as we speak.

Thanks for reading and any thoughts.  Ugh.  Just feeling frustrated.  

Comments

  • GingerMay
    GingerMay Member Posts: 134
    #2
    Medical degree

    I'm sorry for what you and your dad are going through. I too have felt like I wanted a medical degree so I could take over and straighten things out. In my experience though, wading through the medical process takes time. If you feel uncomfortable with anything, you have every right to question things and get second opinions.  If I understand correctly, it seems you've got two things underway that may provide some clarifty:  1) biopsy results, and 2) the appointment with the oncologist. I will be hoping those 2 things lead to the clarity you are looking for and an action plan to address it.

    In the meantime, take care of yourself.  It sounds like you must be a great support to your family.      

  • Chicago23
    Chicago23 Member Posts: 6
    edited December 2017 #3
    GingerMay said:

    Medical degree

    I'm sorry for what you and your dad are going through. I too have felt like I wanted a medical degree so I could take over and straighten things out. In my experience though, wading through the medical process takes time. If you feel uncomfortable with anything, you have every right to question things and get second opinions.  If I understand correctly, it seems you've got two things underway that may provide some clarifty:  1) biopsy results, and 2) the appointment with the oncologist. I will be hoping those 2 things lead to the clarity you are looking for and an action plan to address it.

    In the meantime, take care of yourself.  It sounds like you must be a great support to your family.      

    Thank you so much.  Yes we

    Thank you so much.  Yes we are hoping the oncologist who has committed to being dad's "cancer dr." moving forward will really be able to get things moving. Wednesday Dec 6 is the oncology scan followed by a sit down with him later that afternoon.

    We were releived to finally get the biopsy because until then-- the not knowing whether or not it was cancer was so hard.  That was the first time in my life I think I saw my dad depressed.

    I'm continuing to encourage him to do the things that bring him joy such as his walking and meeting with friends (of which he has about 2,000 LOL).  And I find it helps me to do those things too the "regular stuff" so I'm not consumed with it and letting it take over.  I am located across the country so my sister who is nearby has been fielding all calls and my mom as well.  I recently offered to set up and manage a Caring Bridge website to help alleviate that for them.  

    It has been tough to communicate with some family because they just want to harp on how hard it must be.  Then we tell them, no it's not really hard we're just taking it step by step and staying positive. But then its like they want to argue with us, "No, it IS hard!  It's so so hard."  Not helpful.

    I think this is going to be a long journey.

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    edited December 2017 #4
    In the beginning

    Things move very slowly. Remember, your dad and a thousand others in the area are all getting cancer diagnosis at the same time.

    It will seem as though it is suddenly and you will be so busy getting to all his appointments.

    Try to be patient: it is a long journey. Conserve your strength.

     

     

  • Chicago23
    Chicago23 Member Posts: 6
    #5
    Noellesmom said:

    In the beginning

    Things move very slowly. Remember, your dad and a thousand others in the area are all getting cancer diagnosis at the same time.

    It will seem as though it is suddenly and you will be so busy getting to all his appointments.

    Try to be patient: it is a long journey. Conserve your strength.

     

     

    Thank you .

    Thank you .

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