Wife shockingly diagnosed with Stage 4

lizard44 said:

So sorry to hear this

You and your wife have a lot to deal with right now.  I hope you have someone  who can help with the baby when  and if needed. As others have said,  treatment  depends on the individual, and  people  react differently to  treatment, too.  Some people breeze through chemo and radiation while others  struggle with  side effects to varying degrees. The best advice I can offer is to take it one day at a time, or as my husband told me when he was teaching me to drive, "Don't  drive outside your headlights"- pay attention to what's happening, anticipate  what might be ahead, but don't get so worried about what you can't see that  you make yourself a nervous wreck. If you're one of those people who copes better by knowing as much as you can about the condition and the treatment, then research as much as you can in legitimate sources, ask the medical team when you have question or concerns.  Don't get hung up on the statistics or  pay  too much attention to the folks I call "downers" --who go around with sad faces and always have bad news or tales of woe to tell.

This  forum has been a big help to me and many others, as I'm sure it will be to you. There are quite a few stage  four survivors here- I was diagnosed with stage four  rectal cancer with mets to the liver two and a half years ago and hope to be around  several more years.

Best of luck to you and your wife- and the new baby. Enjoy the baby  and give him or her lots of hugs and love.

Grace/lizard44

Grace,

You hit the nail on the head. I was diagnosed with Stage 3C Colon Cancer and went through surgery and Folfox 5FU chemo treatment and I am 4 weeks from my last treatment. Don't worry about what you can't see and have no control over. Everyone  handles the news and treatments differently. It is just as easy to be positive as it is to be negative, so why not chose the positive.

I'd be lying if I said that the fear does try to enter your thoughts; I call it the bear in the woods waiting for the campfire to go out; keep stoking that fire to keep the bear in the woods.

As others have said, turn to us for comfort, support and knowledge of our individual experiences, as they are all the same yet different.

One thing that I have certainly learned, is that regardless of religion, anyone that offers to pray for you an your family's dilemma accept their prayers, as the more positve energy the better!

Stay strong