Paranoia
Hey guys, i just finisged 6 rounds of abvd chemo and i had a pet scan after 2 rounds and they said eveything looked great, i finished my last abvd chemo 2 weeks ago and i have a pet scan in 2 more weeks. The doctor is talking like everything is going to be fine and really there is no sighns it shouldnt be, basically im constantly searching all over my body for lymph nodes because im paranoid, if i try real hard i can feel one right under the back of my jaw but i can feel the same one on the exact same orher side of my jaw i also have to try pretty hard to feel them. Are those lymph nodes just the main ones you can feel? Am i just phycing myself out? Or is that out of the ordinary?
Comments
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you answered yyour own
you answered yyour own question by saying "I'm constantly searching", "If i try real hard" and" I have to try pretty hard to feel them"... thats called obsessing about something and that leads to paranoia. . Try to hear and focus on the words the Dr said that "everything looked great".... Concentrate on that. Underlying fear is "that it will come back"....can't enjoy the present if you're worrying about the future
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Talk to doctor
Doctor is not worried or paranoid, but you are. Problem. Please talk to doctor about this, as you may need counseling or medication to deal with what appears to be anxiety over all of this. As to anxiety, it is epidemic in our culture. The causes can be discussed, but be assured that many, many cancer patients and those worried actually suffer from anxiety. One psychotherapist states that 1 in 5 Americans suffer from some form of anxiety, from mild to disabling.
Call doctor and tell the same story that you have told here.
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Evolution
As a lay person, not a psychiatrist, I believe that these fears are often biological and not so much cultural. As humans evolved paranoia at some level was a lifesaver. As Woody Allen said “just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean they are not really out to get you”. The key is control. A person with a smalll amount of paranoia which is under control is called “cautious”. Same for stress. Stress can be a motivator as long as its not debilitating. A person who is stressed but controls it is “alert”. Having been in life or death situations I observed that untrained people tend to react instinctively not rationally. We live in very different surroundings from when these biological instincts evolved. In my opinion only, they evolved as a response to immediate threats and not a long drawn out affair like cancer. The key is to train yourself to deal productively with fears and stress and react rationally, not instinctively, with the modern world. Just my opinion. Congratulations on your great results!
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