Cervical Cancer

hope4acure3
hope4acure3 Member Posts: 4
in Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine) #1

I was diagnosed with stage IIIb cervical cancer in June. I went through external beam radiation, chemo, internal radiation, and boosts on my lymph node. Now I am working on getting stronger post treatment and just hoping to get back to work soon. Treatments were hard on my body and I am still having residual effects. I find myself depressed and unhappy. I struggle from day to day to keep my mind busy. My spouse was not the support I hoped for during treatment and even called me demanding. I could barely get out of bed the pain was so severe. It still hurts me that he argued with me and felt I was demanding. I need support that I am not alone and will get through this. Most days I feel like I am all by myself and it is hard. I don't want to fee like this anymore. I have stepchildren whose mother have mocked my cancer and harassed me. My spouse claims he "takes care of it" but I don't believe him. She was physically and mentally abusive to him. What can I do? Looking for inspiration... and praying for a miracle.

Comments

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,486 Member
    #2
    dear hope.  I am so sorry you

    dear hope.  I am so sorry you have had to go through all the extra pain at a time you were going through your treatment.  I do hope you had found us sooner, and while it can be quite here, hopefully some of the other women here will chime in to lend you their shoulders.  Hugs

  • hope4acure3
    hope4acure3 Member Posts: 4
    #3
    NoTimeForCancer said:

    dear hope.  I am so sorry you

    dear hope.  I am so sorry you have had to go through all the extra pain at a time you were going through your treatment.  I do hope you had found us sooner, and while it can be quite here, hopefully some of the other women here will chime in to lend you their shoulders.  Hugs

    Thank you

    I wish I had found this sight sooner too. Though during most of my treatment, I was in so much pain that it would have been hard to concentrate on writing. I need support and to talk to those that truly understand. Thank you for reaching out.

  • Cassie D
    Cassie D Member Posts: 1
    #4
    hope4acure3 said:

    Thank you

    I wish I had found this sight sooner too. Though during most of my treatment, I was in so much pain that it would have been hard to concentrate on writing. I need support and to talk to those that truly understand. Thank you for reaching out.

    Life can be so unfair at

    Life can be so unfair at times,don't feel or think you are alone or the only one in these types of situations.

     

    I was diagnosed with stage 2b cervical cancer in 2010 this followed  my being widowed in 2005 with 3 young sons.

     

    Then in 2007 my mother passed unexpectedly and 2008 saw my husband's younger 38 yr brother dying from a cardiac event.

    My constant state of disbelief, distress and grief kept me in a perpetual state of shock...so when I was diagnosed I literally 

    fell apart.So many people I thought I knew or could rely on seemed to disappear. ..they didn't know how to deal with my illness.

    I had always been the capable one who managed .I quickly learnt your best source of support comes from other women /men who

    have dealt this hand ,anyone else can only imagine your struggles and not all of them are made to handle life's raw truths. 

    Hope please don't despair you are not alone in this and there are many hearts and shoulders available to help you in your darkest 

    moments. ..much love Cassie

  • survivingsu
    survivingsu Member Posts: 134 Member
    #5

    You got through a difficult disease and treatment - be super kind to yourself and know that you are a remarkable person with a story to share.  I had a rare and agressive uterine cancer 8 years ago, and I just wanted to share my own personal observations in case it is helpful -

    1.  You have a right to your own feelings, even if not everyone around you can understand or relate.  I have found that sharing with others led me to see that many other people have been directly or indirectly impacted by cancer, much more than I ever realized before.  But I also found people have different coping skills, and this impacts their ability to relate with people dealing with cancer.  Some people get it, the trials, the changes, and others are clueless and just want a person to "get over it already" partially based on their own insecurities.  But there are much fewer of the latter.

    2. I learned to trust people more after this "adventure", this includes asking for help when it is needed and realizing everyone cannot do everything at all times.

    3.  Because life can be unfair, I stumbled across feelings of guilt as I healed up from treatment, knowing that not everyone gets the chance to recover.  If you come across that, my advice is to acknowledge the feelings and focus on how you can help others

    4.  I lost both my parents, my Dad a year before my cancer, and my Mom three years later.  That hurts more to me than any of my cancer stuff.  I remind myself during challenging times that all we have is the people we know and love and the time we have, and I embrace and deal with whatever.  I especially treasure the folks who shined during my trials, and I forgive those who do not get it.

    5.  Yup, you are not alone.  There are people studying and trying to find cures and better treatments.  We are lucky to be around in this era of new technologies and medical discoveries.  It wasn't that long ago that my particular form of cancer would not have been treatable.  I consider myself lucky.  

    6.  Be extra kind to yourself.  When I went through my treatment, I felt my body let me down for getting the cancer in the first place.  I felt discouraged and embarrassed to have cancer.  No one in my whole family had cancer before.  I worked past that now, and just feel like I am lucky, and my body did not let me down because I am still here.

    Wishing you the very, very best of everything,

    Susan

     

  • Minatpres
    Minatpres Member Posts: 2
    #6
    I’m with you...

    hi hope4acure3...

    i am experiencing very similar things as you. I was diagnosed in February of 2017 with 2b cervical cancer. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ever since. Had radical hysterectomy in April and healed up pretty quickly Without any major issues. Didn’t take the pain meds and was up walking around in a couple days. Thought it was awesome that I was going to move on and get back to life. Had clear margins and no lymph nodes were involved. Dr said go live your life and I’ll see you in 3 months. Well... in may, I started running a fever every night And my back was hurting. Couldn’t figure it out. Spent weeks in the hospital from the pain. They couldnt figure it out. Had colonoscopy, gastrointestinal exploratory procedures , infectious disease doctors looking into my case and not 1 dr could figure out why I was hurting so bad. They sent me home with more painkillers. A couple days later I went to a nearby hospital due to the excruciating pain and the did a CT scan in the ER. Immediately I was told I had 2 masses in my stomach which are pushing on the uterer. Had a biopsy and it came back cancer. Started chemo and radiation concurrently and stayed sooo sick. I was constantly dehydrated and nauseous and had to have a blood transfusio. Through this, I was called weak, a negative person, I was “making myself throw up”  It was my fault I was sick because I wasn’t taking my meds right, or wasn’t eating right, or wasn’t drinking enough water. When you are laying in the bed sick as a dog and feel like death, eating and drinking just doesn’t happen. But it was all my fault. I already felt useless and like a burden because I couldn’t drive myself to treatment, but now I’m being told by my boyfriemd that I was causing all the problem that I was experiencing. I’m done with treatments for now  thankfully. I have a scan in the morning, hence the reason I’m on here tonight. Can’t stop worrying and can’t sleep. All I can say is stay strong... if your family isnt giving you the support or help you need, look towards friends, other family member, church group, cancer support network. American Cancer Society has a 24/7 number u can call and talk to a nurse anytime. It’s great for those times you’re feeling down Or scared. 

    Good luck with everything... I wish you the best and will be praying that you are blessed with a clean bill of health very soon. 

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,486 Member
    #7
    Minatpres, I am sorry to be

    Minatpres, I am sorry to be so personal, but are you still with the boyfriend who said that you were responsible for all the problems you were experiencing??  I will tell you that everyone reacts differently to the chemo and radiation, and some people have sailed through while others have had an extremely hard time like you mentioned.  

    It sounds like you realize there are good people out there to help - friends, ACS, church, this group...you are welcomed with open arms here.

  • hope4acure3
    hope4acure3 Member Posts: 4
    #8
    Cassie D said:

    Life can be so unfair at

    Life can be so unfair at times,don't feel or think you are alone or the only one in these types of situations.

     

    I was diagnosed with stage 2b cervical cancer in 2010 this followed  my being widowed in 2005 with 3 young sons.

     

    Then in 2007 my mother passed unexpectedly and 2008 saw my husband's younger 38 yr brother dying from a cardiac event.

    My constant state of disbelief, distress and grief kept me in a perpetual state of shock...so when I was diagnosed I literally 

    fell apart.So many people I thought I knew or could rely on seemed to disappear. ..they didn't know how to deal with my illness.

    I had always been the capable one who managed .I quickly learnt your best source of support comes from other women /men who

    have dealt this hand ,anyone else can only imagine your struggles and not all of them are made to handle life's raw truths. 

    Hope please don't despair you are not alone in this and there are many hearts and shoulders available to help you in your darkest 

    moments. ..much love Cassie

    Love and support

    Dear Cassie, your story and support means so much. Life is so unpredictable. I'm so sorry for the loss of your family members. I have never had that kind of love and support. Even now I am contemplating a decision that will affect my health and marriage. The support that I have needed just isn't there. You are right. People who haven't had to go through this don't really know what it is like for us. Some people I have found to be disrespectful to the journey I have been on and it has made me so hurt and angry. Thank you for reaching out and for your amazing compassion. Much love to you as well - Hope

  • Laura2051
    Laura2051 Member Posts: 34 Member
    edited November 2017 #9
    You are not alone

    I'm a one year vulvar cancer survivor. I stand in solidarity with you my survivor sisters. You are not alone. Minatpres, are there cancer survivor's groups where you live? I know the hospital where I had my treatments has monthly meetings. My closest friends are all cancer survivors. Some of whom I met through the YMCA Live Strong Program which is a free program at my local Y for cancer survivors. You need support and although we support you on this network there is nothing like having someone in the same city or town to meet with you and lift you up. I live in Billings, Montana and if you live near me I would be glad to meet with you, otherwise I will support you via this network. You can also private message me. I would be glad to talk with you anytime. Be kind to yourself. Don't put up with crap. You are better than that and deserve better than that. Love yourself. 

  • MyDay2Day
    MyDay2Day Member Posts: 1
    edited November 2017 #10
    Laura2051 said:

    You are not alone

    I'm a one year vulvar cancer survivor. I stand in solidarity with you my survivor sisters. You are not alone. Minatpres, are there cancer survivor's groups where you live? I know the hospital where I had my treatments has monthly meetings. My closest friends are all cancer survivors. Some of whom I met through the YMCA Live Strong Program which is a free program at my local Y for cancer survivors. You need support and although we support you on this network there is nothing like having someone in the same city or town to meet with you and lift you up. I live in Billings, Montana and if you live near me I would be glad to meet with you, otherwise I will support you via this network. You can also private message me. I would be glad to talk with you anytime. Be kind to yourself. Don't put up with crap. You are better than that and deserve better than that. Love yourself. 

    Not Far Away

    Hi Laura,

    If you wouldn't mind a pen-pal I would surely like to chat with you!  I just signed up on here and would really like to connect with someone who knows and doesn't live too far away from me.  I'm new so I'm not sure if this is an email or a post but nonetheless I would like to connect and have a conversation with someone who gets it and isn't critical/judgemental.  You seem like such a positive person and I believe positive energy promotes healing!  

  • Laura2051
    Laura2051 Member Posts: 34 Member
    edited November 2017 #11
    MyDay2Day said:

    Not Far Away

    Hi Laura,

    If you wouldn't mind a pen-pal I would surely like to chat with you!  I just signed up on here and would really like to connect with someone who knows and doesn't live too far away from me.  I'm new so I'm not sure if this is an email or a post but nonetheless I would like to connect and have a conversation with someone who gets it and isn't critical/judgemental.  You seem like such a positive person and I believe positive energy promotes healing!  

    I would love to support you

    I would love to support you on your healing journey any way I can! This is a post but you can private message me. I try to be positive and believe as you do that positive energy promotes healing. I will try to check back on this sight frequently to see if you want to chat. You can also email me at llafrombois@hotmail.com.

     

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