Newly diagnoosed and need support

Last Thurday, October 26th I was diagnosed with Follicular Lymphoma. They don't know what stage it is yet. They do know I have enlarged lymph nodes in my neck, both arnpits and groin. Those are the ones they can see. I am getting a port put in on Monday. This type of Lymphoma is not curable but they can at least manage the symptoms with chemo. I was born with Spina Bifida which means I am paralized from the waist down and use a wheelchair. I live with my parents for support. This all started because I have had moderate to bad pain in my hip, ribcage and pelvis for the last several years and my doctor has been trying to find out why. She has sent me to an orthopedist to see  if it was a damaged bone issue, nope. Then to a pain doctor for shots but those didn't work either. Then to a physical therapist but that only made it worse. I have taken Gabepentin for a couple of years and that worked for awhile but in the last three months or so it hasn't done much good. I have a good day or two here and there but thats it. So as a last ditch effort she was going to send me to one more pain specialist so she sent me for a CT scan so the pain specialist would have a better idea what he was dealing with. That's when the enlarged lymphnodes showed up. So the pain doctor went on the back burner and she sent me to an oncologist who just so happened to be her husband. He looked at my scans and said it looked like lymphoma and ordered a biopsy. So as you can tell I have had a lot of doctors appintments recenntly and my mom and dad are both saying they can't handle all of these appointments. They don't want me to pursue the pain relief issue. They say I just need to learn to live with it. That is easy for someone on the outside to say who doesn't have to experiennce it every day. I have always had a high pain tolerance. I'm not a wimp but it wears you down after awhile when you can't get away from it and you don't see an end in sight. I am grateful for life and every day that I have been given. I know it's a gift, but there are some days when I just want to be done. I just want it to all be over. I know it is har on my family to have to take me to so many medical appointments and I feel bad. It's no fun for me either. I have so many emotions about all of this. I go from being at peace, to numb to angry to sobbing. I can't talk to anyone around me about  it because my family wants it to stay private because they don't want people to be constantly asking them about it or me. They say that if I tell people my life will be all about my cancer but it feels like that anyway. Thats why I came here. Here no one knows my family so it is safe. It is too hard to keep it all inside. Thank you for listening to me ramble.