venting

law63
law63 Member Posts: 4 Member
in Emotional Support #1

Hi, Everything seems so hard right now.  Getting ready to meet with oncologists to discuss treatment.  Already trying to stay positive about this whole thing and then I get hit with having to break up with my long term boyfriend. Turns out he has been lying and never got divorced. So now, even though I have lots of support from family and friends, I lost someone who I thought was going to be there for me while fighting cancer.  I can't handle anymore bad news. I need something good to happen.  Seems like the wrong thing to bring up in a cancer forum, just needed to vent a little.  What are some ways to stay while going through treatment?

Comments

  • JosephK
    JosephK Member Posts: 64
    edited September 2017 #2
    Focus

    On what is good versus what is bad. Focus on the ones who will be there for you. Don't pay attention to the stuff you can't control. It will only add stress to your life and stress is bad especially when you are fighting Cancer.

  • Elaine_wi
    Elaine_wi Member Posts: 124 Member
    #3
    Connect with people that truly love you

    I'm glad you posted here. It is not at all wrong to vent here, we are here for emotional support as well as sharing medical issues. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise that you are breaking up with your boyfriend now. You derserve someone who is honest.

    I find support through people at my church. I go to as many Bible studies and small group fellowship meetings as I can. It has also been really helpful to have a peer mentor. I'm not sure what type of cancer you have but I have breast cancer and found a montor through an organization called ABCD (After Breast Cancer Diagnosis). I don't have a family other than my mom and sisters. They have tried to help in whatever way they know how.

    My cancer center offers art therapy. I love to do creative projects so it has been a great outlet for me.

    I have been very open about talking about what I am going through with the different stages of treatment, both physically and emotionally, and that has helped me tremendously.

    Remember, you are not alone!

  • law63
    law63 Member Posts: 4 Member
    #4
    JosephK said:

    Focus

    On what is good versus what is bad. Focus on the ones who will be there for you. Don't pay attention to the stuff you can't control. It will only add stress to your life and stress is bad especially when you are fighting Cancer.

    Thank you for the advice.

    Thank you for the advice.

  • law63
    law63 Member Posts: 4 Member
    edited September 2017 #5
    Thank you Elaine! I have

    Thank you Elaine! I have brain cancer and I agree, the breakup is for the best.  Its still fresh and hurts, but I'm staying busy and okay considering everything. I have lots of support from friends and family.

    I have looked up a mentor program and just need to get back to them.

    Thank you for the support and I hope you are doing well.

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    edited October 2017 #6
    One thing to remember...

    One thing to remember, as one of our long-time members on the kidney cancer forum says, is that we're LIVING with cancer, not dying from it.

    Also, while we all want our cancer to be OUT or at the very least to BEHAVE itself, that's not always the case. Rather than go for the imaging or metaphors of fighting myself / my cells / the cancer, I had a chat with it when I was first diagnosed. I let it know that I was going to be doing good things to my body and for myself and -- Sorry (Not sorry)! -- it was going to have to suck it up and go along with the rest of my body and get bombarded with good things along the way. It could decide to be its own miserable self or not. Not my decision to make. However, it was NOT going to get me to buy or wear pink @^*% (Other people are into that, I'm not) Laughing . Now if we could just figure out a way to break up with our cancer?! I've had surgery, but I figure it's not improbably that it may have left some its little friend-cells around, but this is when I start to sing, "Hit the Road, Jack..."

    It sounds as though you're on the right track, even though not everything sounding "right" for a while.... It's the nature of hearing the c-word. Keep us posted --

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