On to hospice for in laws

Retcenturion
Retcenturion Member Posts: 240 Member
in Kidney Cancer #1

Both in laws have been in nursing home for over 20 months. FiL has been advanced Alzheimer's since he has been placed in home. MIl was in assisted living in same facility. She has slipped very quickly. My wife has just placed her into the Hospice care of the facility due to her failing state. It has been an awful 2 years for my wife. As my care giver in the spring it was harder for her than me . I just scheduled my 6 months scan.. Now I am trying to be there for her. Alzheimer's is an awful disease. There are so many people in the home with this condition. When her mother succumbs we will still have the care of her father. It's a cruel end. Thanks for allowing the venting it was a bad day.

Comments

  • Canadian Sandy
    Canadian Sandy Member Posts: 784 Member
    #2
    I can’t do much to help but

    I can’t do much to help but please know that all of you are in my prayers. 

  • hardo718
    hardo718 Member Posts: 853 Member
    #3
    Had a similar situation

    except with my parents it was my mom that had the Alzheimers.  It's awful.  The hardest part for us was separating our parents, although they too were in the same facility, different wings.  Initially we had them together but my dad was in such denial of her disease and when he'd get fed up with her constantly saying she wanted to move closer to her parents, who were long gone of course, he would help her to remove her wander bracelet and let her "escape" to find her parents.  We still believe the separation killed him, in a sense.  He couldn't take it and 2 months later he was gone.  My mom on the other hand outlived her expectancy because she was in such great shape physically, or so we've been told.  She was diagnosed in 2006, my dad passed in 2009 and she didn't pass until May of this year.  It seemed the end would never come.  I can only prepare you for the rude awakening my brother & I have experienced.......although we felt while she was with us that we went thru the grieving process of losing her years ago, when the time finally comes, the finality of it all still hits like a ton of bricks.  In our experience you can't really prepare in advance to say good-bye.  It's a process.

    I'll keep you & yours in my prayers.  God Bless,

    Donna~

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    #4
    My best friend's granny had

    My best friend's granny had Alzheimers. It is a very, very sad way to go... Please support your wife as much as you can, it is devastating to see dear people mentally slippimg from you.

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    #5

    Rencentarian, please know it is always good to VENT here~that is why we're here..for you!

    Sorry for what you and your poor wife are enduring. Yes, that is a very cruel disease.

    I worked in hospice and appreciated it so much! I witnessed patients open then eyes and say their partner's name or add "I love You" shortly before they passed on. I cannot tell you what it meant to the partner, left behind, already resigned to letting them go due to their Alzeimers, only to feel connected once again, even for a moment.

    Donna, same to you. I am sending you all my sentiments of HOPE and HEALING~with warm hugs to hold you together, best you can!

    Jan

  • Retcenturion
    Retcenturion Member Posts: 240 Member
    #6
    We got the call this morning.

    The nursing home called and mother in law passed during the night. The end came fast. She was in pain for the past several weeks so as hard as it is for my wife it is a relief for her. Her father is unaware of the situation due to his condition. Thank you for the kind words and prayers.

     

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    edited October 2017 #7
    Oh dear, sorry for your and

    Oh dear, sorry for your and your wife's loss...its hard when its your mother too.

    And somewhere inside, you FIL knows.. he does. 

    Hope he doesn't have to suffer too long.

    Hugs to you and your wife,

    Jan

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    #8
    Sorry to hear that, I can't

    Sorry to hear that, I can't imagine how hard it is for your wife...

  • hardo718
    hardo718 Member Posts: 853 Member
    #9
    Oh gosh.

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  I pray that memories of good times together somehow help get all of you thru these trying times.

    Donna~

    P.S.  Thank you Jan.  Actually doing well.

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    #10
    So sorry to hear

    So sorry to hear of your wife's mom's passing. Glad that you can be there for her. Family and caregiving are tough. Hugs and thoughts for strength and comfort.

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