Dreaming

I was feeling the same 3 1/2  years ago. You'll feel better once it's out ,if it's a benign one then good for you otherwise don't lose your hope. You'll feel much better after first follow up, then the second one and then the third one all come back with good news and life becomes more similar to your old life. Although it never becomes the same, it's still a good one

May you have a successful uneventful surgery

I felt the same way especially when it got closer to surgery time. I had my right kidney out on Sept.19th and I kept thinking maybe it isn't cancer this is all a mistake.  I was healthy, ate right exercised and cancer never crossed my mind. My family all lived to their 90s and passed peacefully with a heart attack. I'm healing now but the thought of cancer still scares the wits out of me.

Once again I am going to copy your response... You hit it on the nail... even for an oldie like me... 

behave and cooperate, do what you are told..focus on trust and confidence...  yep, this is a copy and read often...

Pam

Not sure it ever leaves you.  The cancer may be gone, but not forgotten.  Life takes on new meaning and appreciation.  Speaking for myself, appreciation for the fact I heard what my body was saying and acted on it, appreciation for the fact that it was caught early because my doctor listened to what I was saying to her about symptoms and did something, appreciation that I worked with people that were familiar and led to me to the right surgeon, and of course, appreciation for friends & family that walked beside me during this crazy time until I could stand on my own two feet again.  And then, once I made peace with it, I found this appreciation for everyday that I wake up on this side of the grass and the people around me, whether I know them or not, I feel like we all have something to offer each other.  Many people comment on my smile, so if that's all I can offer, I'm good with that. 

Have a great day!

Donna~

Angie1496 said:

I’ve also felt like I was in

I’ve also felt like I was in a dream at first. Since my surgery that feeling isn’t as strong, but it’s so strange to say I’m a cancer survivor.  I didn’t have symptoms or pain from my cancer. I’m worried the first scan at 6 months will show more surprises. I was not prepared for the first time and had about 24 hours where I was in a daze before I got a grip and started being proactive. I feel like most people I know don’t understand what I went through mentally or physically or the fear of knowing this could Come back again. Every ache and pain makes me question what could be wrong.  I never was like that before this. I’m glad to have this site to come vent, read, and feel a companionship with people that know every feeling I have felt and still feel. 

" I feel like most people I know don’t understand what I went through mentally or physically or the fear of knowing this could Come back again. Every ache and pain makes me question what could be wrong.  I never was like that before this."

I couldn't have said it better. Describes my thoughts perfectly.

Six years ago, right before my wife's diagnosis, what I am about to say would have had my eyes rolling and pulling out the "cliche card".

In many ways, it has improved our relationship and really changed how we look at life.  We travel more, embrace moments more, stay out of trivial crap that we can't control like politics.  

Is it in the back of our minds?....yes.  Are the annual scans scary?....yes.  But there is something to be said for getting through this.  We are all terminal, its what you do with the time you have left and the past 5 years for us have been wonderful.