Time for all the tests and scans again
Well it is time for all my 4 months tests again. Today starts with the blood work and CEA test then Wednesday the CT scans. As you all know the tests themselves are not difficult, it is the waiting for results that is so hard. I admit this is when my Wonder Woman crown slips a bit. It is dang scary. The usually 2 weeks of waiting for results pretty emotional. But this is nothing you all aren't fully familiar with. I guess one of the things I am noticing having been at this for nearly 6 years (October 10 will be 6 years) is that people around me, my support system doesn't seem that interested or involved anymore. They are like, Oh well, it will be fine. and then they shut down. This makes me feel like I can't express my worry or fear. Which then makes me bottle it up and makes it worse. I get it, it has been nearly 6 years, but in those 6 years there have been 2 recurrences. So these tests aren't just a formality and being cautious. So yeah. The next coulple weeks will be tough. No one wants to talk about it or listen or even acknowledge my fear. It's just life as usual for everyone around me. I am not a whiner, or constantly focusing on my cancer day after day, I rarely speak of it inbetween tests, so it isn't like I am wearing people out. Maybe I have tried to be too strong and it has come back to bite me. I just don't know.
Comments
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Yesterday's news
Thats how I felt, even during chemo. It was like 'Oh yeah, Cancer, Chemo, survior. But look at you, you look great, therefore you must be donig well, so, see ya'.
I've decided at the end of the day, its my fight, my life I'm fighting for, and everyone can just go to....to....well, go off to their own thing.
But, we're here for you, and we do know how you feel
Good luck with the wait. Do something special every day, to pass the time. Tell yourself that all will be well, and stick with that until you know different.
Cyber hugs!
Tru
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I'm always getting tested
I get blood work every 2 and 3 weeks with Chemotherapy, Xeloda and Avastin. I get my CEA results about 3 or 4 days later.
I'm going in for a fine needle aspiration (biopsy) of my Thyroid. I had it done a month ago and it came back atypical inconclusive so we are doing it again. My Thyroid Surgeon was on vacation so I had to wait a week to get the results. (I hate waiting)
My CEA is going down since my recurrence and I'll probably get another PET/CT in a couple of months.
I hope your tests come out O.K. and you don't have to wait too long.
Good Luck
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People tend to let us down in
People tend to let us down in all areas of our lives. I try to be forgiving because they have no idea what it's like. I'm so grateful for this discussion board. We all are hear to listen and empathize. I am very inspired that you are 6 years from diagnosis!! I hope & pray you get results quickly for your peace of mind.
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Tests and Scans
I'm wishing you the best on all your tests. It's a torture waiting for the results. Actually on CT scans they can read them faster and you can get the results quick if you ask for them. No one should have to wait as long as doctors make them by requiring an appointment to go see them for the results. I'm always a nervous reck for any types of results. Wishing you the best.
Kim
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Yep Yep Yep! That's why we're
Yep Yep Yep! That's why we're here. Others treat these things as "business as usual" and "it's all good-you'll be fine". I even let them off the hook of asking, and just casually mention results once they're available, and we're talking about stuff. I'm resigned to walking this road alone now, but I look back and think how both of us having the cancer battle together, made Cindy and I so strong together, that shared experience that I'll likely never get from anyone else in my day to day life. So it's ten years as of Sep. 25 [her birthday], and scans and tests in Nov., when I'll be sharing all your feelings MAliceR. Hang tough.................................................................Dave
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Thank you everyone
Well, I am relieved to be able to report my oncologist got back to me in record time this time with my test results. She emailed me this evening to let me know my CEA was stable and my CT scans showed absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. I am so very grateful. This cancer battle is something no one can relate to unless they have walked in our shoes. I know people can try but the terror of living from test to test and waiting for the next shoe to drop is something most people just don't get. The value of life takes on a whole different meaning. My therapist told me that when I am not dealing with tests or treatment I should visualize putting cancer in a box, closing the lid and then storing it as deep as I can in the back of my closet and then leave it there until I have to take it back out again at test time. It sounds great in theory but is easier said then done. I am thinking cancer is very much the elephant always sitting in the middle of the room and a bit difficult to ignore. That said, I hope to sleep better tonight. Thank you all for being there once again as I went through the testing panic. I am sorry we are all part of this club but am very grateful for the people in it.
MAlice
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Doing the happy Dance!
Doing the happy Dance!
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I sympathize
I get asked how's it going and then long as you look good and you can do your job then people just assume that everything is good. just like after my husband died I look fine so I must be ok
As one ex-friend said you're strong so you won't have a single problem with this.
They're not there at night when all the thoughts come out. Or understand how scary it is
I'm going in for number two for FolFox. Scared of what my reaction will be to the chemicals I understand it gets worse as it goes and everyone is different. It just a crap shoot I have very little time off on the books so I am trying to work as much as I can.
good luck hope all goes well.
Hugs, Rowan2016 ( I used my dogs name as my screen name because my shelter senior dog keeps me sane)
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Wonderful
So glad you got the good news. Take a deep breath and enjoy. Thanks for letting us know.
Kim
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