I Feel Like I Failed Chemo

Please vent away! It sounds as if you have been through a lot with your other health problems included. Unless a person has been through chemo and suffered the side effects, they just have no idea what it is like. When I try to explain neuropathy, I can tell people just don't get it and mine isn't really bad compared to other people's. I think you do need to talk to your daughter about this. It isn't uncommon for doctors to lower the chemo dose because of neuropathy and other complications. Maybe it would be helpful for her to go to the next appointment with you. Are there any support groups in your area? If there is one, you might find it helpful to attend. Reguardless, we will all be here for you! I'm sure others will chime in shortly. Prayers for you!

Chemo is hard enough, without having to deal with a disgrunltled child.  Everone's body handles chemo a little differently, so you should not feel bad about how you are doing.  It sounds like you already had other health issues to deal with to make is journey even harder.  I had to have my chemo, Taxol and Carbo lowered several times because of nueropathy, and what was even harder on me, several times I had to have chemo postponed because of low blood counts.  I felt like a naughty school girl being sent home from school..  I have had many different side effects from different chemo and I don't think it makes me a weaker person.  I think these trials make us stronger.  Children can be a challenge to deal.  Love her unconditionally and forgive her for what she has said.  It will be better for you. She loves you and may not do how to deal with her mom having cancer.  Fear makes people say and do things they may not mean.  In the meantime come here to vent all you want, we are here to listen.

Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

If I recall correctly, you have hypothermia slippers. Have you tried using them for pain relief from your neuropathy? I used to put them on over socks when I went to bed at night and it was the only way I could fall asleep without resorting to drugs. I was trying to avoid them because they aggravated the heart burn I had to deal with. I worry about you taking Percocet so regularly because it can become an addiction and can aggravate constipation issues from the chemo, too. There are alternative drug options for treating neuropathy such as anti-depressants and anti-convulsants that you may want to discuss with your oncologist. 

Hi, welcome.  I had toxatere also.  for three rounds of chemo.  It was a full dose.  Im not sure how much that is but had it with carbo.  Those were my last three treements and I will tell you I felt sick.  My first three I was taking toxal and did not feel nears as sick as I did with the toxatere.  I was in bed alot more and I couldnt eat or drink as good as my first three treatment.  I livedon carnation instant breakfasts and watermelon for about 4 or five days after treatment.  I remember it was tough and the onl;y thing that got me through was knowing that my neropathy wasnt getting werse and the sickness would eventually go away after treatment.

I think you need to be kind to yourself.  You do what you feel is right for you.  

Love, Janae

It's a shame you can't talk with your daughter, but getting shut down by family who can't handle talking about the reality we're coping with is not all that uncommon for a lot of us. They'd rather pretend it's not our new reality and that's ok for them but not very helpful for us. We all have to cope in our own way which is why having this board to come to as a safe and understanding place to vent is so helpful.

You bring such complicated medical issues with you to treatment that I wish we could do better with helping you with the neuropathy. The unrelenting nature of the pain is what makes it so hard to endure. I also got B12 shots during chemo besides taking oral supplements and that helped the pain gradually abate to where I can sleep now without it keeping me awake. It's a very slow solution taking a couple of months to be noticeable, but it might be something else to talk to your doctor about trying. I don't know what impact your having prior neuropathy and lupus would have, though.

I had Taxotere as part of my chemo for breast cancer.  I had to have a reduced dose the last treatment because of some skin toxicity.  My oncologist (breast not gyn) told me they drug can be reduced up to 20% with the same efficacy.   I think they put you on as much as possible to see if you can tolerate it, but it CAN be reduced.  That being said, my experience post Taxotere is that Taxol is just as effective, just not as convenient for the infusion center.  Taxotere can be administered every 3 weeks, Taxol needs to be administered weekly but in smaller doses.   This is NOT medical advice - but you might consider discussing this with your gyn oncologist. 

Suzanne

EZLiving66 said:

I had Taxotere and

I had Taxotere and Carboplatin and I almost died. My GP said it was the oncologist's job to kill the cancer but it was her job to keep him from killing me. You don't have to defend your decision to anyone. You and you alone know your own body and what it can take. Chemo can kill! People forget that is one of its side effects. I stopped chemo after three infusions. I truly believe a fourth would have killed me. My last chemo was almost 20 months ago and I still feel those side effects every day.  We are all different and many people cannot tolerate chemotherapy. Best of luck to you!!! 

Love, 

Eldri 

i miss your sense of humor. I still chuckle about that wig at work story. Hope you're doing well.