31 year old with stage 4 colon cancer

It's extremey difficult to hear such a diagnosis, especially in your situation, being so young with young children.   I was diagnosed at stage 4 last year at the age of 54, with a 14 year old son still at home, and 3 grown daughters.  Sometimes it still doesn't seem real.

The only good news I can give you is that the new medical treatments can prolong your life, and are better tolerated than even 10 years ago. My first oncologist said I had 6 to 18 months to live, and I feel better now at the 18th month than prior to the diagnosis.  I had 8 rounds of Oxaliplatin and all the other IV chemo, and went on maintainence chemo of oral Xeloda and Avastin i n July 2016.   I had a microwave ablation on one side of my liver and radioactive beads injected into the other side.  I am still fighting this dreadful disease, and will have a cryoablaton on a lung tumor soon.

The statistics  you may read are based on studies that began years ago and it seems people are surviving longer than what you may read about online.  There are many 5 and 10 year survivors on this site, and some who have survived 20 years.  

I believe that my faith in God and the prayers of family and friends is why I am doing well today. 

Take care of yourself, get the rest you need, and let your friends and family help with all they can or are willing to.  There are volunteers through the American Cancer Society that may be available to help with housework or rides to the doctor.   My family has helped me so I haven't had to call anyone else for help, but glad its there for those who need it.

I will pray for you and your family.

God Bless you,

Joan   

My diagnosis hit me like a freight train so I know a bit about what you're going through as do many here (spouses and patients). But a lot of us are older and have raised our kids so we have more time and maybe resources to deal with life and sometimes our kids can help us out. It's always heartbreaking to hear about someone so young getting cancer, and particularly with kids to raise.

It is hard to take as it can be a long and difficult road, even in the best of cases. So talk to your oncologist about the course of action, and maybe get a second opinion if you have them available in your area. Then you can at least get an outline of your plan. In my case, the course of treatment is something like 9-10 months - so my life is on hold for at least that long and that's if nothing gets worse. So for me, I have to do some planning for my family if I'm not around (I should have done that anyways). But it helps once you get into a routine so that your anxiety levels drop because of the routine.

Your spouse may also be freaked out and may need some support and help, either from you or other family members. Please feel free to ask questions here as it's a supportive community. My diagnosis isn't the same as yours so I can't comment on experiences but others, likely can.

Sorry to hear you have joined our little club. I also have mets to my abdominal wall (my peritonium, I'm assuming the same for you?) and my lymph as well.

There are going to be parts of the treatment that are going to be no fun at all, but remember 2 things.

1) There are lots of us here who have been through it too, and we are all supportive and sympathetic. 

2) You are much stronger than you think you are. Lots of people beat this, and you can too. It makes a difference to really believe that you can do it too.

Good luck on your treatment, and if you want to chat or vent, there are lots of us here for you. I know I appreciate everyone who has been here for me too!

Thomas

I have no words... I am just so sorry you're here. At such a young age it's shocking and incredibly saddening to hear. You have a lot of stuff coming up but never lose hope. We have plenty of stage four people on here that were diagnosed a long time ago. You have youth on your side so that helps. I pray you will continue to feel brave and tough and positive. It'll be hard and you will have bad days mentally but know we're here and understand and it will pass.

Sending you positive thoughts and hugs,

Jan

I saw my onc yesterday and I still get that feeling of unreality three and a half years after diagnosis. Like I might wake up from a dream and it'll all have been a nightmare. Like what am I doing sitting in a cancer doctor's office? This was not part of the plan! I find it's worse when I'm there. The rest of the time I can kind of compartmentalize it.

Jan

  That's the best way I can describe it.  I found out about my tumor mid June and got the official diagnosis in July.  It started off kind of slow so to speak.  I was told it was a tumor and I met the surgeon a few days later who told me they could do a simple surgery and I'd be ok. It went from that to having to do radiation, chemo, and surgery followed by more chemo or what ever else for a few months after.  I'm stage 3 as far as I know now.  Regardless the stage, it hurts both physically and mentally.  Be prepared to discover how people really are.  Some will surprise you one way or the other. Try not to hold on to those things as much as you'll be tempted to. Some people will distance themselves if for nothing else but because they have a fear that by being around someone who has cancer they will get it to. Others may take a little time to come around.  Be open to what comes and try not to pass too much judgement but be prudent with the future. 

  Some days it's tough.  Your anxiety level will affect you physically 10 times more than you're used to. I got another taste of that last night. I was throwing up and on the can at the same time and didn't get to sleep until around 8 the following morning.  I've never done that before and all it took was some stress to trigger it.  Going forward I'm going to keep a trash can within arm's reach and if you haven't done so yet, get a soft toilet seat.  It makes a big difference.  

 I'm older but I do have two little ones, aged 3 and 5.  The five year old starts school in a couple days.  He looks so much like I did at that age and it gives me a smile every time I notice it.  I've got older children all the way to your age. Been down the aisle a few times. The younger ones are in my opinion much easier to handle.  They may not listen as much as you'd like but the trouble they cause is often a lot easier to take care of. Muddy clothes from playing in the mud are an easier fix than finding out the car is wrecked. Your two youngest won't really understand what's going on but youre 9 year old might.  i can't say how kids that age will respond but I would expect something out of the ordinary.   

 Check back in with us and throw out any questions you may have.  Without a doubt, someone here has experienced something you may be dealing with and it doesn't matter how off the wall it may seem.  Hell, I was wondering if the flys that would come near me did it because they smelled the affects of chemo.  I don't know the answer to that but it wouldn't surprise me. 

 I suspect there is some correlation because I've noticed how I smell, me personaly has changed.  Months ago I'd get one day out of a pair of socks and they would stink to high heaven when I'd take them off at night.  Since this started, the socks don't stink. My shirts don't carry the usual odor after some hard labor either.  Wondering if maybe my perception changed, I had my wife give em a sniff as a test. Once past the funny looks she said they didn't stink like they use to. 

Hi,

I just wanted to say that I too was diagnosed stage 4 rectal cancer and I'm 31. You don't think it can happen to you at this age. I mean, the doctors didn't think it was really a likely diagnosis...right? But then he said... It's cancer and I felt kind of numb for a while. I don't have kids, but I am 4th grade teacher. I have such a passion for my students that being away from them, or not being able to be 100% with them, is so hard. I got diagnosed last December, three days before I was supposed to get on a plane to Australia. It changed everything. I gave up the trip of a lifetime, went through the chemo and radiation treatments. I had the surgery in May and a temporary ileostomy until just last week. I've read so many of these posts and I just want you to know that there is so much hope to be had. You'll find that there are many people who have had an easier or a much harder time that you. I've taken comfort from both. Just hearing their stories and knowing that I'm not alone going through this. I've had days that feel relatively easy. I got to go to work and see all of those wonderful faces that I love so much. Then there would be days that it would all just seem too much. Physically, I'd be exhausted. The chemo wasn't as bad for me as the radiation. But by the end of six weeks I felt I didn't have any more to give to either. And then there were days were mentally and emotionally I'd break down and wonder why God would send this trial to me. It took months of learning what strength I was cabable of. I'd get to a point of pain or exhaustion or just 'I've had enough of it all" and think, that's it. No more. I'm done. Then someone or something would come along and help me through it and I'd make it to the next day. Later, I'd find a new point that I didn't think I could make it to. That would subside just a bit to last level of pain that I'd experienced before and this time I'd think, okay, I've done this before. I can make it. And little by little, God was making me stronger. I'm at one of those points again. You may or may not have to have a surgery and all the 'joys' that come along with it. But having a reversal of the ileostomy was a highlight and a big step for me. It's also proved to be another stepping stone for strength. I hurt a lot right now, but I also know that tomorrow or next week I'll have a new strength and I'll look back at today's trial and think...I did that. I'll be okay. 

I don't ever post things online. But I read your post and how you're just starting out on this journey, and I wanted you to know my story. It's probably not so different from many others out there, but I hope you know that we are all stronger than we think. Those days when you think it's too much and you couldn't possibly take another step, you will for the sake of your children or loved ones and soon you'll be looking back and realizing how much you have accomplished.

I wish you the best on this journey,

Rachel