Managing Loved Ones

I've been fairly private in who I've told as there are some things that I don't want to deal with at this time.

There are websites around where you can post updates and others can check in to see what's happening with treatment progress. I've run across them while searching for general cancer stuff.

Just let folks know that you will post updates to FB. I know not everyone has it, I didn't until I was diagnosed, and then I hated it. I actually hated it so much I deleted my account, and then those who didn't live close thought I had died, and that caused an uproar, so I had to start another one. 

Anyway, that would be my advice.  Sandia has good advice as well. One email to all concerned. 

And as a side note. I HATED that people would ask my husband how I was, when I was sat, lonely, all day by the phone. How I wanted to have a little chat with people when I was feeling bad, it helped take my mind off things. 

Tru

Welcome, I'm glad to hear that they're doing surgery and chemo and radiation. Sometimes I don't think they take stage two seriously enough. Best of luck with her treatments! 

I agree with all the advice given. For me, I just text my close freinds and everyone else, as in acquaintances, gets the occasional update on Facebook. If I had a bunch of family and friends that were doing that I would also make a group text as Sandia Buddy siggested, and first tell everyone exactly what you said- that the concern is appreciated but the texts and responding is becoming overwhelming and you cannot keep up- and then send mass texts from then on. And I'd ignore most other texts or messages. Maybe mention that its disruptive to your and her sleep or that many come when you're unable to respond anyway or that your focus needs to be on her.

There will be someone mad at you or who feels like they should get private messages anyway or whatever because you can't please everyone but know that this is your time to care for your wife, not everyone else. If someone chooses to make an issue it's their problem, not yours. People can be real wankers when they're stressed and worried. Remind them that when you know, they'll know. At this time you are your wife's advocate and caregiver, don't let anyone interfere in that if they're going to be difficult. I'm sure most are well meaning but there will always be one...

Good luck and all the best!

Jan

Create a special facebook page and post on there.  As Trubrit said, remind these BBF that they can talk to her directly too, assuming your wife wants to hear from them or better yet, come and visit.  Having cancer can get very lonley.

I'm quite lucky that my close friends aren't really as curious on the specifics (like the sked).  They just ask me general questions, like how have I been or how is chemo so far? And they don't ask everytime.  They just do it occasionally, like, once every two weeks.  That's all.  Maybe because they've got their own lives also and yeah, I've always been private.  I don't have FB.  I don't share every single thing that happens to me.  As to immediate family, well, we live beside each other so its just easy to ask how are things.  Relatives also just ask general questions.  

If I were in your shoes I'd just send a group text, or a facebook page and tell everyone (politely) that you'll keep the page updated for new info.

SophDan2 said:

Set up group text

Set up a group text to let them all know at once; pick her best/closest friend to be the contact person for the other 19. his is not a stress you should be dealing with, delegate! Do the same with the family; I am one 8 kids (72 to 56) many nephews, nieces, extend family, in-laws (get the picture). I et up a group text family and one for friends. They all know that if I want to talk about it, I'll contact them directly, otherwise they do not use the group text to reply (as per my request).

Good luck and don't stress out!

That's a great idea! Designate a spokesperson. I like it!