Children in DEnial

Swifty67
Swifty67 Member Posts: 2
in Emotional Support #1

Hi new to the site and looking for advice. I was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer on the 6 April 2015. the cancer had spread to my bladder. liver luncg and lympnodes before it was detected. Initially I wa given very little chance of surviving the surgey and then they said 3 to 6 months it has now been over2 years and I am still going strong. I do chemo 3 days a forntight since May 2105 and am handling that ok. The cancer has shrunk and then remained unchanged.

My problem is I have 3 children 2 girls 22 and 20 and a son 18. Both girls use a cancer support network for young people and are doing ok, they are somewhat in denial as I am doing so well but that is a very fine line a tempreature puts me in hospital for a week. However my son will not talk about it rarel askes what is happening and won't tell his fiends or invite them over any more he still lives at home, the girls are living out with their respective partners.

I am looking some advice on how to get my son to open up and seek help as his life is spiraling down hill.

Thanks in advance

Comments

  • JosephK
    JosephK Member Posts: 64
    edited June 2017 #2
    swifty, glad to see you are

    swifty, glad to see you are holding your own against this dreaded disease called Cancer. Keep fighting and never give up. You have much to live for. I lost my partenr Karen to Breast Cancer in May, 2017 and I'm still in deep grief with losing her. She was my life partner and I miss her very much. About your son, he seems to be in denial but he may also may think that he's protecting you. He's very young to be facing this and understanding it. If you can get him to see a family counselor it may help him to open up. If you can go along with him that may even be better because he may tell you things in that kind of forum where he may not in others. Hope my suggestion helps. Please keep the thread updated with progress with you and your son. Best wished to you!!

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    edited June 2017 #3
    Does he talk with his sisters?

    Or is he at least close to them?

  • Swifty67
    Swifty67 Member Posts: 2
    #4
    Noellesmom said:

    Does he talk with his sisters?

    Or is he at least close to them?

    Talking to his sisters

    Yes they are very close but he will not discuss anything with them regarding my condition

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    edited July 2017 #5
    That's okay

    When he is ready to talk they will be there.

    It is roller coaster no one wants to be on. He has to do this his way. Make sure he knows he has the option of talking to a therapist you can't do more until he is ready.

    Once upon a time we processed such issues without getting professional help and most people did fine.

    Just be open with what's going on and move forward.

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